With One Kiss
by cindy123
Summary: To try and change his destiny, Sam makes a deal of his own. Dean is not happy. Seriouslylimphurt/Sam pissedprotective/Dean helpful/Bobby. Throw in some Castiel/Uriel/Lilith/Alastair with a bit of Ruby. Rating for mentions of non-con, torture, language.
1. Chapter 1

**So, here be my next story. This story takes place in Season 4 so there are some spoilers. Nothing too deep though. **

**Summary: Sam is desperate to change his destiny so he makes a deal. Dean is so not happy. Trouble ensues. Seriously hurt/limp Sam. Pissed/protective/more pissed Dean. Helpful as always Bobby. Throw in some Castiel/Uriel/Alastair/Lilith and a wee bit o Ruby. There you have it. The rating is for non-graphic, non-discriptive non-con, torture and language. THIS IS NOT A DEATHFIC!!!!**

**Disclaimer: The Winchesters nor anyone else you recognize still do not belong to me. No money has or ever will exchange hands. This is just for fun.**

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**With One Kiss**

The kiss was long and it was deep, but it lacked passion or anything else that would have made it enjoyable for both participants. As it was, only one was enjoying themselves and it wasn't the tall, shaggy haired hunter. The man and woman finally separated and the man wiped the back of his hand over his mouth in disgust while glaring at the woman with distaste.

"Oh come on Sammy. You came to me, remember?" the woman said as if insulted, her eyes flickering from deep blue to red in an instant.

"Just remember your part of the deal," Sam spat as he wiped his mouth again.

"Don't you worry about me lover. You remember your part Sammy boy. Ahhhh…I can't wait for you to fail so I can get my hands on that body of yours…" the demon purred seductively.

Sam couldn't stop the shiver that ran up his spine at the demon's words. He shuddered as he pictured the scene in his head but them tamped down the fear and revulsion, squaring his shoulders and jutting out his jaw.

"You'll never touch me bitch. I won't fail. I won't give in," he promised, his eyes never leaving the raven haired demon's face.

The demon chuckled and stepped up to Sam then planted her hand on his collarbone. She moved her hand over his chest then trailed it down his stomach, the toned muscles quivering with the unwanted touch. Her fingers moved over the waistband of his jeans then trailed over his hip as she walked around him until her hand came to rest on the small of his back. Sam watched her until she moved out of sight, holding in the shudder that threatened to quake through him. He just wanted her hands off of him so he could leave.

"My, my Sam. Where do you find the time to work out in between all of your do-gooder crap? You wear way too many clothes, you know that don't you?" the demon said, the heat in her words drawing out the shudder that Sam had valiantly attempted to hold in.

"Get your filthy fucking hands off me so I can go! I have more important things to do then stand here and let you rape me with your eyes," Sam hissed as he jerked away from the demon's touch.

"Okay…fine. You go do your important things Sammy. I'll see you in three days. Don't wear your good clothes. We wouldn't want them to get shredded, now would we? Hey, don't wear any at all!" the demon taunted.

"Go crawl back under the rock you dragged yourself out from bitch!" Sam shot, tired of the demon's game.

"Ouch! You hurt my feelings Sammy. I'll be sure to punish you when you're mine," the demon retorted before disappearing into the night.

Sam glanced around and upon finding himself finally alone, he walked to the Impala, climbed in and started the engine. He sat back in the seat and let his head fall back to rest on the seatback. He closed his eyes and willed his heart to calm it's frantic beat. His fingers grasped the steering wheel, his knuckles white from his death grip. He couldn't believe he'd actually gone through with it. Dean was going to go ballistic on him, but Sam knew he'd done the right thing. He knew that if he succeeded he would not only save the world from what he could potentially become, but he would save himself as well.

After several minutes Sam opened his eyes, lifted his head and put the car into drive. With one last look out his side window he pressed on the gas and drove away from the crossroads and back toward the motel. Back toward Dean, who Sam knew by this time would be worried sick and royally pissed all at the same time. Sam was not looking forward to the tongue lashing he would be getting for taking Dean's car without his permission, but that would be nothing compared to Dean's mood once he found out what Sam had done.

Sam decided that hell was going to be much safer than that motel room when Dean found out he'd made a deal with a crossroads demon. The fact that Sam could not reveal any details of the deal to Dean without sacrificing his soul to the demon just made it all the more worse. At least Dean would be safe no matter if Sam succeeded or not. Sam had made sure to make that part of the deal. Dean was to be left alone for the duration of the deal. No demon was allowed to touch him, breathe on him or cause any kind of harm. If Sam was going to go to hell, then he had made sure hell couldn't come to his brother.

Sam drove on, eventually pulling up to the motel, the door to his room looming before him. Sam turned off the ignition and breathed a heavy sigh. It was now or never. He pushed open the driver's door and exited the Impala, his eyes never leaving the room door. He stepped quickly to the door and slid his keycard into the slot then pushed the handle down when he heard the small click. He opened the door tentatively and peered into the room before stepping in. The room was dark save for the light coming from the bathroom and Sam glanced around trying to find his brother.

"Where the hell have you been Sam?" Dean's irritated voice sounded from behind Sam, causing the younger man to jerk around in surprise.

"Dean…I…" Sam started.

"Save your excuses Sam. I don't want to hear 'em," Dean spat as he came up and gave Sam a harsh shove to the shoulder.

"No excuses Dean. I took the car to go do something that you're not going to be happy about," Sam replied, his gaze intense as he stared at his brother's face.

"Are you hurt?" Dean asked, his eyes moving over Sam's body as he looked for any injuries that Sam may be hiding.

"No…I'm fine Dean…I…" Sam answered.

"Did you use your powers? Did that bitch Ruby make you exorcise someone? Is that why you stole my car?" Dean queried, his voice trembling with barely restrained fury.

"I didn't steal the car, Dean…I bor…"

Dean's fist connecting with Sam's jaw cut off the reply and Sam grunted with surprise at the sudden agonizing pain. Before he had time to recover, Sam was slammed against the door and he glanced down at Dean's rage filled eyes, swallowing fearfully.

"You promised Sam! You said you wouldn't use them anymore. I can't believe you fucking lied to me!" Dean hissed as he slammed Sam against the door again.

"Dean…I didn't use my powers. I haven't seen Ruby in weeks. I promise Dean…I didn't use my powers," Sam said softly.

Dean held onto Sam, his eyes staring deep into his baby brother's eyes as he looked for signs of dishonesty. Seeing nothing, he let go of Sam's jacket and stepped away. Sam moved from the door and took a seat on the end of Dean's bed. He glanced up at Dean, who stood a few feet away, his eyes full of questions.

"Dean, maybe you should sit down. I have something to tell you," Sam said, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I think I'll stand. What do you have to tell me Sam?" Dean asked evenly, a knot the size of Texas filling his stomach.

"I…I made a deal Dean. I made a deal and…uh…I can't tell you anything about it. I'm sorry Dean," Sam said, his wide eyes staring up at his brother.

"If you're not sorry now, you're gonna be," Dean hissed as his fist made contact one more time.

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**Alrighty then, that's the start. What do you think? What deal did Sam make? Why can't he tell Dean? These answers and more will be answered. Hope you enjoyed.**

**Cindy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Tried to post this earlier but the upload page was not working. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter and based upon the reviews I received, you did. First of all, I want everyone to know that I adore Dean. His hitting Sam is not meant to imply that I don't. I have just had a real hard time with the series in that respect. My intent is to show that Dean is not happy with himself. I hope I succeed in conveying that. Now, this story is shorter than the last one I posted, at this time only 23 chapters. I'm am not finished with it yet but don't see it going for many more chapters. This being said, I most likely will only be posting one chapter per day, unlike the last one. I may post more if a chapter is particularly short or if it is the weekend. As this is the last story I have written, I do not have anything to post once this one is done. I am working at coming up with a new story, but haven't gotten as far as writing yet. So, I want this one to last as long as possible. Okay, enough rambling...on with the story.**

**Cindy.**

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Sam held his hand over his bleeding mouth, flinching when the motel room door slammed shut behind his retreating brother. He slouched forward and dropped his elbows to his knees, his eyes on the door.

"Well…that went well," he murmured as he wiped the trickle of blood from his lip.

Sam sat for several moments, hoping the throb that had started in his head would ease. When he came to the conclusion that the headache was not going anywhere soon, he stood and walked to the bathroom. He looked at his face in the mirror, turning his head slightly to see that his slightly swollen jaw was fast turning a faint purple. His split lip still bled and he drew his tongue over the cut, the taste of copper turning his stomach sour. Sam turned on the faucet and splashed the water over face. He reached for the hand towel and dried his face then held it over his lip until the bleeding stopped. He thanked the stars that his nose wasn't bleeding also, although it hurt to high heaven.

Once he was cleaned up, Sam exited the bathroom and retrieved his sleep clothes from his bed then quickly changed. He thought about going for ice to help quell the swelling in his jaw and lip but felt too drained to do much more than fall back onto his bed and stare at the ceiling. Sam's jaw, no scratch that, his entire face hurt as well as his head and he wished he'd grabbed some painkillers before collapsing on his bed. He sighed as he glanced across the room to Dean's duffel bag where the pills would be. As much as he wanted relief, the movement was just too much for him so Sam closed his eyes and willed the pain to go away.

Sam knew why Dean was mad. He understood, but he wished his brother could express his discontent in a less physical way. Sam still remembered the day Dean had found out about him lying about using his powers, the pain from those punches not too far gone in the past for him to have forgotten. Ever since he'd come back from hell, Dean had been more easily angered and used physical force more often. Not that he hadn't been physical with Sam before. There was the time when they'd first met Gordon Walker, 'And wasn't that a bitch,' Sam thought wryly.

Sam realized that what Dean had gone through had everything to do with it and that he hated being lied to, but it wasn't like Dean had never held something important back from Sam, or lied to him. The only difference was that Sam had never struck his brother when he was in full control of his actions. Even when Sam learned of the secret Dean had been keeping about what his father had said, Sam hadn't used physical force even though he had been so hurt and angry he'd wanted to hit something, but not Dean. Never Dean.

Sam sighed again and rolled slowly onto his side then pulled his knees up toward his chest. He allowed the beat of his heart to lull him slowly to sleep and it wasn't even minutes before the murmurs and moans started as a nightmare took hold. Nightmares of fire and pain, blood and bone, torture and sorrow.

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"Hit me again," Dean called as he wrapped his knuckles on the wooden bar.

The bartender, a man of about thirty, short and stocky, nodded and poured Dean another shot of Jack before reaching into the ice bin for another bottle of beer. He sat the drinks before the buzzed hunter and pulled a few bills from the pile that sat next to the empties. He removed the empty shot glasses and beer bottles and nodded again before walking away.

"Thanks," Dean murmured under his breath before taking the shot and gulping it down, following close behind that with a long swallow from the beer bottle.

Dean set the bottle down and folded his hands on the bar. He stared at his hands, his mind wandering to the motel room and his little brother. The knuckles on his right hand ached and he wondered guiltily what Sam's face felt like. He'd have to add tonight to the growing list of times he'd hurt his brother when there were more constructive, less violent ways to express his anger.

"Fuck!" Dean spat to himself then lifted the bottle once more to his lips, draining the beer before setting the empty bottle back down.

He shook his head when the bartender raised the Jack bottle then retrieved all but two of the bills that were resting on the bar. He smiled slightly and left the bar, the chilly night air hitting him in the face as he stepped out the door. The cool air cleared his head and he couldn't help but let the anger creep up on him again. There was, however, something more prevalent than anger that darkened his thoughts this night. Sam had gone to a crossroads. His baby brother had made a deal and couldn't or wouldn't tell him what it was, and Dean was scared. No, he was beyond scared. He was absolutely terrified. He'd been to hell. He knew what awaited Sam. He'd told Sam what he had been through, had poured out his heart and soul and let Sam see him at his most vulnerable and his brother had cried for him. So now Sam comes in and tells him that he's made a deal? He's made a deal but can't reveal any part of it? Why? What possible reason would the stupid little twit have for doing something so insane?

Dean stepped up to the Impala and without thinking he kicked out, the tip of his boot connecting with the driver's door as the questions flew through his head. He didn't spare a single glance to see if he'd caused any damage as he pulled the door open and scooted behind the wheel of his baby. He slammed the door shut and dropped his head back against the seat, much like Sam had done hours earlier. What the hell was he going to do? He couldn't let Sam go to hell. He couldn't allow his baby brother to be subjected to the same torture and agony that he had gone through. Couldn't fathom the thought of his Sammy, his sweet, gentle brother eventually becoming what he had started to become.

"No!" Dean screamed as loud as he could as he slammed his fists onto the steering wheel. "I won't let you do it Sammy…I can't lose you that way," he said more softly, just a whisper really.

Tears pooled in Dean's green eyes before spilling over his cheeks only to drop to his jean clad legs. He hastily brushed the tears away then started the Impala, the familiar rumble helping to ease his frantically beating heart somewhat. He pulled out of the small, dirt parking lot and headed in the direction of the motel, suddenly needing to see his brother. He needed to make sure that Sam was okay. He needed to find out what was going on in that freaky brain of his. And finally, he needed to know, after everything he'd told Sam about his time in hell, why the little bastard would knowingly make a deal and put himself right in the middle of all that suffering. He'd make Sam tell him, no matter what it took.

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The room door opened and soft moonlight spilled over the slumbering figure that lay prone on the bed furthest from the door. Dean stood in the doorway, his eyes glued to his brother as his heart began to race. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. He glanced at the salt line to make sure it was intact before moving to the side of Sam's bed. Sam lay curled in a ball and Dean could hear soft murmurs whisper out between the sleeping man's slightly parted lips. He was having another bad dream, if the murmurs and furrowed brow were any indication.

Dean's eyes traveled to the dark bruise on Sam's jaw and then to the split, swollen lip. He swallowed against the bile that rose in his throat. Usually there was swift and brutal punishment for anyone who dared to lay a hand on his brother, but this time he was the abuser. He was the one who marred that gentle face. Dean swore to himself, berated himself for allowing his anger to rule his fists, and not controlling himself before he hurt Sam. No matter what Sam did, or didn't do, there was never justification for hitting him. That had always been Dean's rule. Never be the one to inflict pain onto the one person he held above all others.

Dean reached down and softly rested his hand on Sam's shoulder, smiling when his brother's murmurs immediately stopped. He pulled his hand away and sat on his bed, his eyes never leaving Sam's face.

"What am I gonna do with you Sammy?" he whispered as he swiped his hand wearily over his face.

Dean stood to make his way to the bathroom when a soft, sleepy voice halted him. He turned to see Sam's eyes open and staring at him pleadingly. Dean remained silent, unsure of what to say and not wanting to fly off the handle.

"Dean…we need to talk about this," Sam whispered as he raised himself up on one elbow.

"What's to say Sam? You made a deal and you can't tell me anything about it. Unless you're going to spill the details, there's nothing to talk about," Dean said then turned and walked to the bathroom.

"Dean…" Sam said, lowering his head as the bathroom door was shut and locked.

Sam sat up and slung his legs over the edge of the bed. He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. This was not how he wanted to spend his last three days with his brother. It's not like he expected Dean to be happy about what he'd done, but he had hoped to at least be heard, to be allowed to explain. Well, at least explain as much as was allowed without blowing his end of the deal. Sam sat hunched over, head in his hands until several minutes later when he heard the bathroom door open. He lifted his head and watched warily as Dean made his way to his bed. He stared up as Dean stood above him, the older man's gaze resting on the carpet at his feet.

"Dean…I…" Sam started.

"Just tell me this Sam," Dean interrupted, his eyes finally falling on Sam's face.

"What?" Sam questioned when Dean remained silent.

Dean sat on the edge of his bed, his hands moving to grip his knees. "How long do you have until…?"

Sam looked away and dragged one hand through his unruly hair. His heart hammered in his chest and he suddenly felt the urge to just up and run. This was not going to go over well. Not one little bit. Dean might just end him himself after he found out how much time Sam had.

"Sam…how much time?" Dean repeated, his voice holding a hint of irritation mixed with a great deal of fear.

Sam turned to meet Dean's gaze and sighed then answered, bracing himself for the storm to come. "Three days," he said softly as he dropped his eyes to the floor.

Sam wasn't quite sure what he expected Dean's reaction to be, but it certainly wasn't the reaction he received. The silence in the room was deafening and Sam slowly raised his eyes, his breath hitching when he saw tears streaming from his brother's eyes as they stared at him in disbelief and sorrow.

"Dean? Please…don't…" Sam stammered, unnerved at seeing his normally stoic big brother crying.

"Why Sammy? We just got each other back. Why would you do this?" Dean asked softly, his eyes pleading with his little brother for an explanation.

Sam swallowed back the lump in his throat, afraid that his own tears would start. He clasped his hands together nervously as he tried to find the right words to say.

"I-I had to Dean…" he started softly.

"No Sam…you didn't. You chose to do this…behind my back. How could you do this to me?" Dean cried as he abruptly stood, suddenly towering over Sam.

"I did this for you Dean. I did it for everyone. It's the only way to protect you," Sam said.

"Protect us from what?" Dean queried, clearly confused by Sam's explanation.

"From me…" Sam whispered sadly, his tears finally winning over his will.

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**Okay, that's it for tonight. I know I spoiled you guys with mulitple posts on previous stories, but I hope you understand why I only want to post one chapter per day on this story. Please let me know what you think about this chapter. Reviews are love.**

**Cindy.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, I'm amazed at the response I've received so far for this story. Thank you all so much! You all rock! Here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean sat at a picnic table at the park across the street from the motel, his eyes glued to the motel room door that hid his brother from view. Neither man had spoken to each other since the day before when Sam had revealed that he had made a deal with a demon. Sam had clammed up after that talk, refusing to discuss it anymore and Dean had refused to talk about anything but the deal. Sam had just two and a half days left and Dean couldn't even look at him without wanting to kick his ass and pull him into a protective embrace all at the same time.

"Damn stupid ass little brothers!" Dean muttered to himself as he dragged his hand over his tired, stubbled face.

Dean flinched when the motel room door opened and the tall figure of his brother emerged into the sunlight. Sam looked around then paused when his eyes found Dean. He stuck his hands in his jeans pockets and began to trudge in Dean's direction, his shoulders slumped and head hanging down, long hair covering his eyes. Sam reached the picnic table and swung a long leg over the bench then sat down with a sigh.

"Hey," he said quietly, his eyes peering nervously at Dean through his chocolate fringe.

"Hey," Dean replied as he clasped his hands together and set them on the tabletop.

"Dean…we gotta talk to each other man," Sam said, sitting straight to look his brother in the eyes.

"We'll talk Sam. Tell me about the deal," Dean said, his gaze locked with Sam's.

Sam lowered his eyes and shook his head dejectedly. "I can't Dean. I told you…I can't reveal any part of the deal."

"Yeah…that's what you said Sam. I still want to know," Dean shot angrily.

"Do you want me to lose, Dean? Is that what you want?" Sam cried, his wide eyes pleading with Dean to understand.

"Lose what? I don't even know what you'll lose, Sam! I mean, what could be worse than going to hell!?" Dean cried back.

"I didn't make the rules Dean. I just can't tell you. I'm sorry…" Sam said softly, his eyes falling back to the ground.

"I can't believe how stupid you are, Sam! After everything I told you…knowing what's going to happen to you and you still made a deal? For what!? To protect me…to protect the world from you? God Sam…you didn't need to do this. You're not evil…you'll never be evil. Why can't you see that? I can't watch you die again Sam…I can't…" Dean cried, tears of frustration and fear leaking from his eyes.

Sam swallowed and blinked back his own tears. "Then don't Dean. I don't want you to see it. I saw you when…uh…I don't want you to go through that…"

"You should have thought about that before you made the fuckin' deal! Two days Sam. In two days I have to see you ripped to shreds, and for what? All because of something that might happen? It's bullshit!" Dean cried as he jumped up from the picnic table and slammed his fist down onto the wooden surface.

Sam jumped at Dean's violent outburst and watched as his brother shook his head, turned and stormed away. Sam stood and hurried after his pissed off sibling. He grasped Dean's shoulder when he reached him, squeezing gently in an attempt to halt him.

"Dean…please…" Sam started.

Dean swung around, fist ready, face red with anger. His body shook as he reined in his temper and lowered his arm. "Don't Sam…" he warned.

"If you want to hit me Dean then hit me. If it makes you feel better…do it. I deserve it, Dean…" Sam said softly.

"It doesn't make me feel better, Sam! It makes me feel like shit! Just…leave me alone," Dean replied as he turned away from Sam again.

"Dean…can we just not fight? I don't want our last days together to be like this. What's done is done…can we just make the best of the time we have left? Please?" Sam pled, his soft voice cracking with emotion.

Dean stopped and lowered his chin to his chest. He took a deep breath before replying.

"You made your bed Sam and now you're gonna have to lie in it. I can't pretend for the next two days that everything is hunky dorey 'cause it's not. You're gonna die Sam…horribly. You're gonna die and I have no idea why…" he said then turned to look at Sam over his shoulder before slowly walking away.

Sam stared after his brother, his heart sinking further with each step Dean took away from him. He wiped absently at the tears on his cheeks then turned and walked back toward the motel. Once at the room's door he reached for the handle but stopped, his fingers barely kissing the cool metal surface. He hung his head and pulled his hand away then turned toward downtown. He cast one more glance Dean's way, his brother just a speck on the horizon now, before slowly walking across the parking lot, no destination in mind.

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Dean returned to the motel room several hours later. He unlocked the door and pushed into the room, fully expecting to see Sam either at his computer or curled up on his bed. He didn't expect to come back to an empty room. He opened the door and peered outside, his eyes sweeping over the park and the street that led to downtown. Sam was nowhere to be seen and Dean immediately felt a pang of panic sweep over him. He pulled out his cell phone and punched in Sam's speed dial number, impatiently tapping his foot as he listened to the phone ring. He let out the breath he had been holding when the call was answered, relief washing through him until he realized the voice on the other end of the line was not Sam's.

"Hello?" the soft female voice queried.

"Who the hell is this? Where's Sam?" Dean spat into his phone.

"Uh…Sam's a little out of it right now. Who's this?" the woman replied.

"This is his brother. What do you mean he's out of it?" Dean shot as he moved to the Impala.

"He's wasted. Look…you better get here. He took some guys for quite a bit of cash and they aren't too happy about it. They're eyeing him pretty close and they are not the nicest guys," the woman explained, her voice hushed and full of worry.

"Where are you?" Dean queried as he backed away from the motel.

"Ed's Place on Main," the woman replied.

"I know where it is. I'll be there in five," Dean shot then flipped his phone shut. "Shit Sammy…what is it with you?" he whispered to himself.

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The tall redhead shook the barely conscious young man urgently, her eyes staring over his shoulder at the two advancing men. She couldn't bare to see this young man get hurt. He'd been nice to her. He'd treated her with respect, something she wasn't used to and she was going to do everything in her power to help him.

"Sam…Sam wake up. You've gotta get outa' here…" she pled frantically.

Sam turned bleary eyes on the pretty woman and smiled warmly, his soft eyes melting her heart even further. "Hey Anshie…whasup?" he slurred softly.

Before the woman could reply, Sam was ripped off his barstool and spun around. He was slammed against the bar, the breath being forced from his lungs with the impact. His head dropped to his chest but soon he was staring up into two pissed off faces when a hand tangled in his hair and jerked his head back.

"Jack…leave him alone! He can't defend himself! He's just a kid for God's sake…" the woman cried as she tried to pull the muscle bound man off of Sam.

"Back off Angie, unless you want some of what this little prick is gonna get!" Jack hissed, pushing the redhead and causing her to stumble backward.

"Heeeyyyy…that washn't nice. You don' push ladies…" Sam slurred as he tried to push to his feet.

"Shut the fuck up asshole!" Jack spat as he wrenched Sam's head back further.

"Take it outside guys before I call the cops!" the bartender shouted from behind the bar.

"Gladly!" Jack called then yanked Sam away from the bar by his hair.

"Owwww! That hur's…" Sam cried as Jack and the other man dragged him toward the back of the bar.

They pushed through the back door and pulled Sam outside, the door slamming behind them, leaving Angie to watch after them in a panic. She spun around a few moments later when the front door opened and an agitated man hurried into the bar, his eyes sweeping frantically over the room. She rushed up to him and grasped his arm, pulling his attention away from his search.

"Are you Sam's brother? Are you Dean?" she queried urgently.

"Are you the one I spoke to? Where's my brother? Where's Sammy?" Dean shot back in reply.

"I-I'm Angie. I'm sorry…I tried to stop them…" the woman cried.

Dean grabbed the woman's arms and pulled her close. "Angie…calm down. Tried to stop who? Where's Sammy!?"

"Jack and Buddy…the drug him out back! You need to hurry before they kill him!" Angie cried.

Dean let go of the crying woman and stormed across the bar, shooting the bartender a threatening glare as he passed. He crashed through the back door with a furious yell. Someone was hurting his brother and there was going to be hell to pay.

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**Sorry if the drunk Sam was lame, don't really know how to write shitfaced lingo. LOL Okay, I hope you enjoyed that. Oh, and you know how I said this wasn't a deathfic? Well, as some of you may already know, when I say that I mean that both Winchesters will be alive at the end of the story. Just so you know. Reviews are like chocolate easter bunnies, just can't get enough of them.**

**Cindy.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here we are, ready for more. Here is the next chapter. Just a bit of brotherly time. It's possible you may need some tissues for this one. I hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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"What the hell were you thinking Sam!?" Dean spat as he dragged his half conscious brother through the motel room door.

"I coulda' taken 'em D'n…ya sho'a lef' me 'lone…" Sam slurred as Dean laid him carefully onto his bed.

"I should've left you alone? They were going to kill you Sam! They were literally beating you to death!" Dean shouted, completely dumbfounded by his brother's blasé attitude.

"Bettr'n the hellhounds huh?" Sam remarked, his eye suddenly filling with tears.

"Sam…don't…just…don't go there," Dean warned as he began to remove Sam's shirts to get a look at his injuries.

"Nah…not better…'cause then…" Sam started, but sucked in a breath as his eyes grew large. "Oooops…shhhh…" he said as he took his finger and pressed it to Dean's lips.

Dean swatted Sam's hand away and glared at his intoxicated brother.

"Sam…I'm telling you…drop it."

Without warning, fat tears began to spill from Sam's eyes as he gazed forlornly up at his big brother. He grasped the hand that was tenderly prodding his ribs, halting its movement. He swallowed compulsively and bit at his lower lip nervously. Dean stared down at him, a knot forming in his stomach at the utter devastation and profound fear he saw in the hazel eyes that stared back.

"Sam…what's wrong? What the hell…" Dean started, pulling back slightly when the hand that wasn't grasping his reached up and cupped his cheek.

"I…I don't wanna die Dean. I know you think I do…but I don'. I gotta though…Don' ya see…I gotta…s'only way…" Sam cried, his eyes pleading.

"Sam…I don't understand and you're not helping me to," Dean said, pulling Sam's hand from his face and pressing it to the mattress.

"Can't tell ya…not s'posed ta…I love ya Dean…that's why I had ta do it. Don' wanna hurt ya…love ya too much…" Sam trailed off as he slipped into alcohol induced unconsciousness.

Dean stepped back, his mouth agape at what Sam had said. The raw emotion from his little brother bowled him over and he had to sit back on his bed to keep from collapsing to the floor. It must really be crucial that Sam not tell him about the deal if in his drunken condition he even held his tongue. Usually Dean could get Sam to spill even the worst secret just by getting a few drinks into him. What the hell had the stupid kid done? What kind of deal could Sam have made that by telling Dean any part of it, Sam would break his end of it? Dean watched his brother, fear gripping him to his very soul. Whatever this was, it definitely wasn't good. Not for Sam at least.

Dean's eyes traveled over Sam's steadily bruising face and wondered which of the array of blues and purples he had inflicted and which came courtesy of the two now extremely suffering assholes from the bar. Dean brushed his hand over his face and through his hair before standing and heading for the counter near the bathroom. He retrieved the icebucket and hurriedly left the room, returning a few minutes later, the bucket over flowing with ice. He grabbed a hand towel from the bathroom and filled it with ice then pressed it to the worst of the bruises. Sam flinched then opened his bleary eyes. He stared up at Dean and smiled sadly.

"'m sorry Dean. 'm sorry for all this. 'm gonna miss ya…gonna miss my big brother…" he whispered brokenly.

"Sammy, I'm not gonna say it's okay, 'cause there's nothing okay about this. But…I'm not gonna ask anymore 'cause obviously it's important that you not tell me and I'm not gonna put you in jeopardy of breaking your end of the deal. I just…I…I'm gonna miss you too bro. So much Sammy…" Dean said softly.

"'nks D'n," Sam replied tiredly.

"How can I get you out of this Sammy? Can you tell me that?"

"You can't…'s no way out. I gotta go ta hell Dean and that's all I can say…"

Dean shook his head and went down to the floor on his knees. He dropped the ice filled towel on the bed and snaked his fingers through Sam's hair. Sam rolled his head to look at Dean's face as tears slowly trailed over his bruised cheeks. Dean cupped the back of Sam's head and pulled him close until their foreheads rested against each other.

"What am I supposed to do Sammy?" he whispered as his own tears joined Sam's. "We just found each other and now I'm gonna lose you again. What am I supposed to do?"

Sam closed his eyes, unable to watch the pain in Dean's eyes. He opened them again, but diverted them from his brother's face. He lifted his hand and weakly cupped Dean's head, much in the same manner his brother held him.

"Dean…you jus' keep fightin'…keep huntin'…"

"I can't Sammy…not without you to watch my back…"

"Ya got Bobby…"

"Not the same. I need my pain in the ass little brother. I need you Sammy…"

"I need ya too…but you'll see…'s for the best…this deal…'s the only way…"

"They're gonna tear you up Sammy. I'm gonna hear you scream…I'm gonna see you torn to shreds…" Dean sobbed. "You know what I'm gonna see…what I'm gonna hear…"

"Don' wan' ya to be there De. Don' wan' ya to see what I saw…" Sam slurred, his eyes staring pleadingly at his brother.

"I gotta Sam…can't leave you to go through it alone…" Dean replied.

"Don' wan' ya to 'member me that way De. Please…go ta Bobby's. Tomorrow…go ta Bobby's…please…"

"No Sammy…I'm staying with you. You gotta do this? Well…then I gotta be there."

"'m sorry De. It'll be 'k…promise…" Sam whispered as his eyes slowly closed, his breaths evening out, his hand slipping from Dean's head.

Dean pulled back and brushed the tears from his face. He grasped Sam's limp arm and gently placed it on the bed by Sam's side.

"No Sammy…there's nothing okay about this," Dean said as he stood up, his knees popping as he straightened.

Dean pulled the bedspread from his bed and draped it over Sam's sleeping form. He collapsed onto his bed and reached down to remove his shoes. He swung his legs up onto the bed and fell back onto his pillows, his eyes staring blankly up at the cracked ceiling. He rolled his head to the side and watched Sam sleep, smiling slightly as Sam's lips moved as if he were speaking. Dean closed his eyes and although he thought there would be no sleep for him tonight, he soon drifted away and the only things to be heard in the dark room were his soft snores and his baby brother's pained murmurs.

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Dean awoke the following morning to the sound of Sam heaving his guts out in the bathroom and he chuckled softly.

"Serves the little bastard right," Dean muttered under his breath then he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and slowly sat up.

Dean stood and made his way to the bathroom door, pushing it open and gazing down at his brother who had his head nearly all the way in the toilet bowl. Dean scrunched up his nose at the smell then made his way to Sam's side and kneeled down beside the sick young hunter. He rubbed comforting circles on Sam's back as the younger man continued to heave. Finally, Sam raised his head and turned bloodshot eyes onto his older brother. He wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and fell back against the cool tub as Dean stood and filled a glass with water.

"Here…drink…" Dean instructed as he held the glass out for Sam.

Sam looked up and accepted the glass with a shaky hand. He took a drink, swishing the water around his mouth before leaning over and spitting it into the toilet. He drank the rest of the water while Dean flushed the toilet then he set the glass on the floor beside him.

"Thanks Dean," he croaked as he rested his head on his knees.

"Yeah…" Dean replied then he reached down and grasped Sam's arms. "How 'bout I get you back to bed Sasquatch?"

Sam allowed Dean to pull him from the floor, his head pounding a steady beat as the blood rushed to it. Dean held strong to him and led him from the bathroom to his bed. Dean carefully helped Sam down onto the bed then reached for his duffel and pulled out a bottle of aspirin. He shook out three pills and went back to the bathroom for more water. He came back and handed Sam the water and pills and watched as he washed them down.

"Lay down and sleep Sammy," Dean said as he softly pushed Sam back against the mattress.

Sam pushed against him and shook his head, wincing at the pain that caused. "No… don't have much time left. Don't want to sleep it away," he whispered.

Dean sat on his bed and rested his elbows on his knees then clasped his hands together. "Okay…uh…how are you feeling?"

"Um…better. Head hurts…face too…" Sam answered as he gingerly fingered his bruised jaw.

"Yeah…I'll bet. So…are you hungry?"

"Uh…maybe. Don't know if I can keep anything down though."

"How about toast. Think you can keep that down?"

"Yeah…I think so."

"Good…I'll be right back then," Dean said as he leaned over to put on his shoes.

"No Dean…wanna go with you," Sam replied.

Dean looked up, his brow arched. "You sure? You look a bit green still."

"Yeah…'m sure. Don't really want to be alone."

"Okay Sammy…let's go."

Sam nodded and sat up, taking his shoes as Dean offered them to him. "Hey Dean?" he said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what Sammy?"

"Uh…for last night. For coming for me. For saving me."

"I thought you didn't need me last night."

"I'll always need you Dean. I'll always need you…"

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**Awwwwwwwwwwwww...they talked, kinda. Sammy needs Dean...maybe that'll make Dean feel better. More coming tomorrow.**

**Cindy**


	5. Chapter 5

**Update time! I hope you are all still enjoying the story. We have another brotherly fluff chapter. Not much of that left before everything goes completely insane, so enjoy it while you can. Anyway, here it is.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean watched as Sam finished his toast and smiled softly when the younger man rested his head on his hand tiredly. The green tinge Sam had been sporting had diminished somewhat, leaving his bruises to stand out starkly against his pale face. Dean felt a sudden surge of anger fill him as he thought about the two jerks and how they had been attacking his brother in the alley behind the bar. He wanted to find them and kick their asses again for what they had done, but he squashed down the anger. He didn't have much time left with Sam and he wanted to spend that time as constructively as possible. He thought maybe they could drive to the next town down the road where he'd been told the county fair was going on. Sam loved that kind of crap and he hoped he could see his brother smile, hear him laugh before tomorrow night when all he would hear would be agonized screams.

Dean sucked in a breath at the thought and stared sorrowfully at his brother. Sam lifted his eyes as if aware that he was being watched and smiled nervously.

"Hey…you okay Dean?" he whispered as he took in the look on his brother's face.

"Yeah…uh…I'm fine. How are you feeling?" Dean replied.

"Better…a little tired," Sam whispered in reply.

Dean nodded sympathetically. "So…I was thinking," Dean started. "There's a fair down the highway a bit…"

Sam looked at Dean curiously and smirked. "A fair? Seriously dude?" he questioned.

"Well…yeah. You liked that kind of shit when you were a kid and you never really got to go but maybe once…and…well, you know…you can stop me whenever…"

"No…no…I'm enjoying this…" Sam said, chuckling even though a sudden sadness washed over him.

"Sam…I'm just saying I want us to have a little fun before…"

"Thanks Dean, but I was thinking maybe we could go shoot a little pool…play darts maybe…"

"Those are my things Sammy…why don't we do something that you really wanna do."

"The only thing that matters to me is spending time with you, Dean. It doesn't really matter what we're doing."

"Uh…yeah…well, I wanna go to the fair so…"

"Really dude? A fair? You're serious?"

"Yeah…except no Ferris Wheel," Dean said with a shudder.

Sam chuckled and looked at his brother, his eyes misty. "Okay Dean, no Ferris Wheel."

The two hunters paid for their breakfasts and exited the diner then headed for their room. Once in the room, Sam collapsed onto his bed and rested his arm over his eyes. Dean gazed down at him, absently chewing on his bottom lip.

"Uh…Sam? Why don't you get a little more sleep. I'm gonna go wash the car," he said.

Sam pulled his arm away from his face and stared up at Dean. "I can come with you dude. Just give me a minute."

Dean nodded and watched as Sam pulled himself up from the bed and headed to the bathroom. Sam splashed cold water over his head then straightened and peered at his pale face in the mirror. He shook his head at the array of bruises and wondered at his stupidity. He ran his tongue over his lip before turning and leaving the bathroom, catching the gaze of his waiting brother. The intensity of Dean's stare made Sam uncomfortable, especially when he could clearly see the guilt residing in his eyes.

"Dean…don't…" Sam said softly.

"Don't what?" Dean responded.

"Don't do that. You have nothing to feel guilty about, dude," Sam replied.

"Some of those bruises are from me Sammy."

"Yeah…well, I kind of deserved it Dean so just stop okay?"

"That's beside the point Sam. I never should'a hit you…no matter what."

"What's done is done dude. Let's just forget it okay? Let's just enjoy the day…please?"

"Yeah…okay Sammy. You're right…enjoy the day."

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Sam couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard he tried. He giggled even louder when Dean smacked his arm and gave him a dirty look.

"Dude…it is so not funny…" Dean snarled as he continued to give Sam the evil eye.

"Dean…you puked on the Tilt-a-Whirl! That is the funniest thing I've ever seen," Sam cried, breaking into another fit of giggles that brought tears to his eyes.

Dean smiled in spite of himself as Sam's infectious laughter continued. He was getting his wish. His wish to hear Sam laugh and to see him happy after so long. He knew it was only temporary, but he was going to enjoy it while he could. He quickly hid his smile when Sam turned to look at him, sporting a sneer instead.

"You know what Sammy? You suck!" Dean spat, holding in a chuckle of his own.

"I'm sorry…it's just so frickin' funny. You puked on a kiddie ride!"

"The Tilt-a-Whirl is not a kiddie ride! It spins and everything…"

"Okay…it's as close to a kiddie ride as you can get…"

"It takes three tickets Sam! Three. Kiddie rides only take two…"

"Okay…okay. Sorry," Sam said, breathing in deep to stifle another laugh.

"Right…well…I gotta hit the can. Wait here," Dean replied.

"I'll be here."

Dean took care of business then stepped up to the sink. He splashed cold water on his face then stood to look in the mirror. He smiled as he thought about Sam's laughter, but the smile soon faded as he thought ahead to the following night. He couldn't bare the thought of losing his brother and his anger was renewed. A deep sadness had settled over him as he realized that this was what Sam had gone through for an entire year. He finally understood Sam's desperation that year because he felt it now. He felt desperation and defeat. He had zero time to figure out how to change things and Sam's inability to tell him what he needed to know made it all the more difficult. Dean took a deep breath, grabbed a paper towel and dried his face and hands. He stepped out of the restroom, arching a brow when he saw Sam shoving his cell phone back into his pocket.

"Who were you talking to Sammy?" he queried curiously.

"Uh…nobody," Sam said softly.

"Sam…no lies. Not now…" Dean warned.

"Okay... I was talking to Bobby."

"Sam…I said no," Dean said angrily.

"I don't want you to be alone Dean…after…"

"Sammy…"

"No Dean…I mean it. When you…when you died…I…uh…"

"Sammy…don't…please…"

"Bobby was there, Dean," Sam continued. "He's the only thing that kept me from ending myself those first weeks. If he hadn't been there at the beginning…I probably wouldn't be here now."

"Sam…I'm so sorry…I…"

"It's okay Dean. I just need you to not be alone. Please Dean…I need to know you're not gonna be alone," Sam pled softly, light tears welling in his eyes.

"Okay. Okay Sammy. I'll stay with Bobby if that's what you want," Dean said, grasping Sam's arm and squeezing gently.

"Thanks Dean. That means so much…"

"So…when's the old coot showing up anyway?"

Sam let out a relieved laugh and glanced at Dean. "He'll be here early morning sometime."

"So, I take it he's basically on his way now?"

"Yeah…pretty much."

"He pretty pissed?"

"Uh…yeah. He had more than a few choice words for me."

"Yeah…I'll bet."

"Yeah…uh…what do you want to do now?" Sam asked nervously.

"Mmmmm…I'm hungry…let's eat," Dean answered.

Sam stared incredulously at his brother. "Dean…you've eaten every corndog at this fair. And, you've puked up every corndog at this fair. Now you want to eat?"

"Well…yeah. Now my stomach is empty and I'm hungry," Dean replied, looking at Sam as if he'd grown two heads.

Sam shook his head and followed Dean as the older sibling headed for the Indian Taco stand. He caught up with Dean and just hung back, watching his brother with admiration and affection. He stored Dean's smile in his mind. A memory he could hold onto when everything went dark. A memory to lift him when the pain began. A memory to hopefully last him forty years.

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**So, that's it for now. Corndogs anyone? LOL I can so see Dean puking on the Tilt-a-Whirl. Don't know why, but I can. Okay, so I hope you'll let me know what you think. More tomorrow.**

**Cindy.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, next chapter. The calm before the coming storm. I hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean couldn't sleep; the visions of what was to come just wouldn't allow it. So instead, he sat up watching Sam sleep, the soft sounds of the younger man's breathing bringing a slight smile to his lips. Sam had held out to well after midnight, but finally his heavy lids had won out and he'd drifted slowly off to sleep. Dean had tried to sleep himself, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw fire and darkness, sharp blades and black eyes. He couldn't bare to see these things, knowing they were what awaited his kid brother, so that was why when a sharp knock sounded at the door at 3 AM he was quickly off his bed, weapon in hand, peering out through the curtain. He let out a sigh of relief, tucked his gun into his waistband and opened the door as quietly as he could, casting a quick glance at Sam to make sure he hadn't been awakened.

"Bobby…" he whispered as he welcomed the older man into the room.

"Dean…how are ya boy?" Bobby replied, his tired eyes immediately seeking out the youngest Winchester, those same eyes softening when they found the sleeping young man.

"I'm as good as I can be…considering…" Dean said as he shut the door softly.

"Yep…I can imagine. So…what's up with that idjit brother of yours?" Bobby queried, his eyes finally moving from Sam to meet Dean's sad, tired stare.

"I honestly don't know Bobby. He won't…well, he says he can't tell me anything. I don't know what to do. Did…uh…did he tell you anything?" Dean replied, moving to the counter to pour himself and Bobby a cup of coffee.

"Nope…said he made a deal and that he needed me to get here as soon as possible," Bobby said, nodding as he took the steaming mug of black brew.

"Yeah…well…he says he doesn't want me alone…you know…after…" Dean muttered, his eyes conveying his anguish to the older hunter.

"That's what he told me too. What else did he tell you?"

"He…he said if it wasn't for you those first few weeks, he wouldn't be here. Said you kept him from…well…you know."

"He was pretty torn up Dean. I'd never seen him like that before. Not with your daddy even and I know how much he was hurtin' on that one 'cause he told me…"

Dean looked up at Bobby with surprise. "He talked to you about Dad? Why didn't he talk to me?"

"Dean…you hardly spoke to him then and when you did…uh…let's just say he was more concerned with how you were dealing and didn't want to burden you with his own pain," Bobby said, his eyes once more moving to the sleeping figure in the bed across the room.

"Shit…I guess I was so caught up in my own loss, I kinda' forgot that Sam lost his dad too. I just figured he didn't feel it like I did. What a friggin' idiot I am!" Dean cried as he stared into his cup.

"Dean…don't go there. Sam knew you were hurtin' and already had enough on your plate so he came to me…"

"Yeah…he came to you when he should've been able to come to me. I really owe you Bobby…for then and for after I…died…" Dean said softly.

"Hey…you don't owe me nothin'. You boys are my family. Sam needed me and I was there. You're gonna need me and I'll be there for you too."

"I don't know if I can take this Bobby. I can't lose him. He's my life…always has been and to know what's gonna happen to him…well…it's killing me."

"I know Dean. When he called and said he'd made a deal I…I couldn't breathe…thought I was gonna die right there. It took me a minute before I could talk and then I pretty much tore him a new one…"

"Yeah…he said you were pretty pissed."

"Pissed? I swear…between the two of ya idiots. Well, let's just say you two are harder on me than any supernatural thing has ever been. Ya frickin' little jerks…making me care about what happens to ya…" Bobby shot, his eyes betraying the harshness of his voice.

Dean chuckled lightly as he stared at the older man with affection. "Awwww Bobby..that was just…so…cute…" he said, his hands clasped together over his heart.

Bobby shot Dean an angry glare as he sputtered on his sip of coffee. "Don't you cute me boy! There ain't nothin' cute about me. Anymore sass like that and I'll do to you what I want to do to the kid!" he spat.

"Yeah…well…I already did a number on him so…no need for you to add anything," Dean said, his eyes falling in shame.

"Wait a minute. You did that to his face? Dean…"

"No Bobby. Not all of it at least, and…I know. I just…when he told me, I lost it…"

"But that's not all from you?" Bobby asked, understanding and sympathy in his eyes.

"No…he took off to some bar after I wouldn't talk to him and he got shitfaced. He hustled a couple of guys out of some serious cash and they didn't take too kindly to it," Dean explained.

"How'd ya find him?" Bobby asked, eyeing Sam with fatherly concern.

"Some lady…Angie I think…answered his cell and told me to hurry my ass down there…which reminds me…I gotta get back there and thank her. I tell ya Bobby…if I hadn't shown up when I did…we might not be worrying about Sam's deal…" Dean said, his face paling as he thought about what almost happened.

"That bad huh?"

"They meant to beat him to death Bobby."

Bobby hissed through his teeth, his anger causing his hands to shake. "Did'ja take care of the bastards?"

"I got 'em good. They won't be playing pool or doing much of anything for that matter for a long time," Dean answered through clenched teeth.

"Good boy…" Bobby said.

"Hey Bobby?"

"Yeah?"

"What're we gonna do? Sam dies tonight at midnight. How are we gonna stop it?" Dean asked softly.

"Dean…I…" Bobby stammered helplessly

"Yeah…I know. I'm gonna lose my brother," Dean whispered as one lone tear trailed down his cheek.

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**That Night-11:30 PM**

Sam stood at the crossroads, his eyes darting over the area, filled with fear but also determination. Dean and Bobby stood nearby, their eyes trained on Sam. They knew he could hear the hellhounds, if not see them already. Dean swallowed uncomfortably, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Sam turned until he had his brother and friend in his sight and smiled sadly. He walked the short distance to where they stood and slipped his hands nervously into his pockets.

"You can hear 'em can't you?" Dean asked softly.

Sam peered at Dean then cast his gaze once more over their surroundings. "Yeah, for about fifteen minutes now. Can't see them yet though."

"Sam…are you sure we can't get you out of this?" Bobby asked.

"No…we can't change it and even if we could…I wouldn't want to…" Sam replied.

"Why Sam? You can't possibly want this," Dean cried, deciding to hell with holding anything in. "Whatever you think you're gaining here…well…it just ain't worth your soul Sam."

"It's the best solution Dean. I wish I could make you understand. You'll know soon enough…after I'm gone."

"Yeah? It'll be too late by then Sammy. What good is knowing when you're already dead?"

"Just…please…just trust me Dean. I know what I'm doing. I need to know that you trust me okay?" Sam pled as he grasped Dean's arm.

"I'll always trust you Sammy…"

Sam nodded and smiled. "Thanks Dean."

Movement to their right caught the men's attention and they turned to find Ruby walking from the trees and she didn't look happy.

"What the hell did you do Sam?" she spat as she stepped up to the group and roughly grabbed Sam's arm.

"Let him go Ruby," Dean warned as he stepped toward her.

"Back off bubblehead! This is between Sam and me!" Ruby shot, her grip on Sam's arm tightening.

"Ruby…shut up…" Sam said evenly.

Ruby turned surprised eyes onto Sam and scowled as she let go of his arm. "I heard rumors. Word was that one Sam Winchester made a deal. I really didn't think you were that stupid, but I guess I was wrong!"

"Back off my brother bitch or you'll be dealing with me!" Dean hissed as he moved between the demon and the hunter.

"You guys…just knock it off…" Sam said as he pulled Dean back.

"What the hell are you even doing here Ruby? Shouldn't you be biting the heads off kittens or something?" Dean shot.

"Dean…stop…please," Sam pled.

"Nah…I've had my fill of cute little fuzzies Deano," Ruby spat.

"Alright…that's it! Ruby…get the hell out of here. You're not welcome, okay?" Sam cried.

"What? After everything I've done for you?" Ruby answered, anger flashing in her now black eyes.

"Look…I owe you for my life, but I don't want to spend my last minutes watching you and Dean go at each other. Will you please just leave?" Sam said pleadingly.

"I'm not leaving if they get to stay…" Ruby replied, the hunter's eyes following the demon's gaze.

Dean's eyes widened when he saw the newcomers and hope filled him.

"Castiel…Uriel. Did you come to stop this?" he queried breathlessly as the angels approached.

"No Dean. We came to observe. We came to make sure promises are kept," Castiel answered.

"You came to observe? Did…did you know about Sam's deal?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Yes…we advised Sam…" Castiel started.

"What? What do you mean you advised him?"

"He summoned us and asked us for advice. We gave it to him," Uriel answered, his eyes landing on Ruby with disgust.

"You talked to them? You asked them for advice? Why them Sam? Why not me?" Dean cried as he turned on Sam.

"Because Dean…you would have flown off the handle. Besides, I wanted to know if making the deal would work and they were the only ones who could tell me," Sam explained.

"So…the angels know…Ruby knows. Who else other than me, Sam?" Dean hissed.

"I don't know what the deal is, Dean," Ruby offered. "I couldn't find that out. They're pretty tight lipped about it down there."

"Dean…just Castiel and Uriel know. I promise."

"I thought you couldn't tell anyone or you'd break your end of the bargain."

"I can't tell you Dean. That was the stipulation. Not you or any other person. Besides, Castiel and Uriel already knew before the deal was made."

"This is just great! Fuck!" Dean screamed.

"Dean…calm down," Bobby said.

"Calm down!? Sammy's dying in what? Fifteen minutes? And you want me to calm down!?" Dean yelled.

"Dean…please…" Sam pled.

Dean ignored his brother and turned to the angels. "You guys can tell me right? As long as it isn't Sam telling me, it should be fine…right?" Dean asked in desperation.

"No Dean. You can't know until after Sam dies. I'm sorry," Castiel explained.

"You're not sorry. You wanted me to kill Sam. You said you would if I didn't. You're getting what you want! That's why you told him to make the deal…to get rid of him!"

"I never told you to kill Sam. I told you to stop him. Our Lord doesn't want Sam dead," Castiel said.

"Look…I'm almost out of time. Dean…Castiel will tell you everything, but right now I just want to…I…" Sam said softly.

"I don't want to lose you Sammy," Dean said, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

"I know…it'll be okay Dean. Trust me," Sam replied, his own eyes moist.

"Sammy…" Dean started.

"Dean…I want you to have these," Sam said as he removed his leather bracelet and his wristwatch.

Dean stared wide eyed as Sam placed the items in his trembling hand. He closed his fingers around the items and he looked up at his brother.

"God Sam…this is so messed up." And with that, Dean pulled Sam into a tight embrace, his fingers fisting into the back of the taller hunter's jacket. Sam hugged back with all he had as he buried his face in Dean's neck. The brothers broke away, but Dean held tight to Sam's arms now. Sam turned to Bobby and smiled warmly.

"Bobby…thank you for coming man. I owe you so much. Keep him safe okay?" Sam said, his voice shaking with emotion.

Bobby grabbed Sam's arm and pulled him into a hug, his hand patting the younger man's back.

"What am I gonna do with you kid?" the older man questioned. "You big freakin' idjit!"

Sam let out a shaky chuckle as he pulled away. He turned back to Dean and couldn't keep his tears at bay any longer.

"Dean…I…I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I wish you wouldn't stay. I don't want you to see…" he said brokenly.

"I'm staying Sammy…" Dean said, his eyes following the slow path of Sam's tears.

"I love you Dean. You don't have to say it back…I already know. No chick flicks right?" Sam said softly.

"Damnit…I love you too Sammy…" Dean said, his cheeks wet.

Suddenly, Sam jerked his head to a stand of trees, his eyes staring fearfully into the dark. He swallowed then turned back to Dean.

"Oh God…the hellhounds…they're here…"

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**Uh oh, the evil cliffies are back!! Now, should I make you all wait until tomorrow for the next chapter or should I post another one tonight? Whatever should I do? Maybe I'll leave it up to you guys. Let me know if you want another chapter tonight and if enough want one, I'll post it. Take care.**

**Cindy.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so it was an overwhelming vote to have a second chapter tonight, so here it is. Uh...this is not a pretty chapter. It is not all that graphic as I did not want the story to be a bloodfest. As it is, it's bad enough. So, that being said, you may want to grab your tissues folks. I'm thinking you're gonna need them.**

**Cindy.**

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_"Oh God…the hellhounds…they're here…"_

Dean instinctively grabbed Sam's arm and pulled him around so that he stood between the younger man and the trees where Sam was looking, his eyes searching for what he knew he wouldn't be able to see. Only the intended victim could see the hellhounds, Dean knew this but still he tried to see. Bobby moved in front of Sam also, realizing it would do nothing to protect him, but needing to try anyway.

"Where are they Sam? How many?" Dean asked fearfully.

Sam continued to eye the trees, his gaze moving over the evergreens frantically. He pointed out and answered with a small, shaky voice.

"Over there…and there…"

Dean followed Sam's directions and swallowed nervously. "Can you see how many there are?"

"Uh…four…I see four…" Sam answered, his voice barely audible.

"Okay…stay behind Bobby and me," Dean instructed, knowing full well it would do no good.

"Dean…that won't stop them. You can't stop them," Sam said softly as he placed his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"I can sure as hell try can't I!?" Dean cried, his voice taking on a panicked tone.

"There's still time for you to get out of here so you don't have to see this…"

"I'm not leaving you alone Sammy…"

"I won't be alone…Castiel and Uriel will be here…"

"You're alone if I'm not here," Dean said as he turned his head to meet Sam's eyes.

Sam nodded his agreement. "I know Dean," he said softly.

Ruby stepped up to the group, eliciting a growl from Dean. She glared at the older Winchester before turning to Sam.

"Sam…whatever you did, there's still time change your mind…" she started.

"No…I can't. I have to do this," Sam replied.

"Sam…for once I agree with the demon bitch. Whatever the ramifications…we can deal with them. Please Sammy…" Dean pled.

"He can't back out Dean. If he does, all is lost. Sam has to go to hell…the bargain requires it," Castiel said from where he and Uriel stood a short distance away.

"No!" Dean cried. "You're angels for shits sake! Do something to stop this! Please Castiel…please…"

"We can't interfere Dean. We're here only to make sure that promises are kept…"

"You already said that! What good are you if you can't stop this?" Dean exclaimed.

"Sam accepted the bargain and now it has come due. We'll be here for you Dean…we'll help you…"

"Fuck me! What about Sam!? Who's here for him? Who'll help him?" Dean cried.

"Dean…you're here for me. That's all I need," Sam said, bringing Dean's attention back to him.

"Oh God Sammy…please don't leave me…I need you…" Dean pled, his eyes filling with tears.

"I'm sorry Dean. I…" Sam started, but his words were cut off as he was suddenly thrown to the ground, a spray of blood filling the air as four deep slashes appeared across his chest.

Dean stared in shock as Sam was thrust away from him. He barely noticed the fine mist of blood that coated his face as he lunged toward his brother.

"SAMMY! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" he cried as Sam's agonized screams filled the night air.

Dean fell over Sam's body as he tried to block his brother from the invisible claws of the hellhounds. He felt Bobby as the older man dropped to shield Sam as well, but both men cried out as Sam was ripped from their clutches, his screams cutting them to their very souls. Dean scrambled across the ground, crying out in anguish as Sam was ripped open in front of him. Sam lay splayed out, his mouth open in an eternal scream, but no sound other than wet gurgles could be heard. Dean reached his brother and gathered him into his arms, swallowing back bile as his eyes fell onto Sam's destroyed throat. He turned terror filled eyes on Sam's face, the only part of Sam's body that had been spared.

"No Sammy…nonononono…Oh God…not you Sammy…not you…" he cried softly as he rocked the now still body of his baby brother. "I'm so sorry Sammy…I'm so sorry that you had to see me when…"

Dean flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he slowly looked up to meet Bobby's concerned face. The older hunter gazed upon his friend with sad, tired eyes.

"Dean…he's gone. Sammy's gone…" Bobby whispered, his own tear filled eyes falling to the still body of the man he considered his son.

"No Bobby…he can't be. He can't be…" Dean said brokenly as he loosened his grip a little and looked down on Sam's pale face.

Blank, lifeless eyes stared back at him, the beauty and innocence of Sam's face marred by streaks of his own blood. Dean reached a shaky hand up and caressed Sam's cheek lovingly before gently brushing his fingers through his thick, chocolate hair.

"OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod…" he whispered over and over as he began to rock Sam's body again.

Dean sat on the cold ground, Sam's cooling body cradled in his arms for nearly a half hour before anyone had the nerve to approach him. Bobby kneeled down beside the distraught hunter, purposely keeping his eyes on Dean to avoid the heart breaking sight of Sam's bloody, shredded body.

"Dean…it's time to let go. We need to take Sam away from here," the older man said, his hand gently gripping Dean's arm.

Dean flinched and slowly raised his eyes from Sam's face to gaze blankly at his friend. His eyes were red and puffy and held none of the brightness and life that Bobby was used to seeing in their green depths. They were now flat and so full of pain that it took all of Bobby's resolve to not gasp in shock. Bobby watched as recognition slowly came to his young comrade and smiled warmly as life returned to the man's eyes.

"He's dead Bobby. My…my brother's dead and I don't know why…" Dean whispered, his eyes filling once more.

"I know Dean, and we'll find that out, but right now, I need to get you and Sam off this cold ground. Can you help me with that kiddo?" Bobby said softly.

Dean gazed down once more at Sam's face and smiled lovingly. "He's so quiet Bobby. I need him to talk to me. I need him to start his twenty questions…ya know?"

"Yeah Dean, I know. Why don't we go back to the motel. You need to get some rest," Bobby replied.

"I'm never going to hear his voice again. God Bobby…there were times…so many times I just wanted him to shut up and now…now I'd give anything to hear him again…"

Bobby lowered his head, unable to watch the agony in Dean's eyes any longer. He felt Dean's pain, it was that palpable. He truly didn't know if Dean would recover from this. The young hunters whole life lay in his arms, torn to shreds and covered with blood. His whole reason for living was gone and Bobby was terrified that Dean wouldn't be too long in following. A low, steady voice brought Bobby out of his musings and he looked up warily.

"You'll hear him again Dean," Castiel said as he came to stand beside Bobby.

Dean slowly looked up, a frown marring his handsome face. "How? He's dead…he's in hell, probably being flayed by now. How will I hear him again?"

"Dean… he won't be there forever. The deal doesn't require it," Castiel answered.

"What do you mean? What does the deal require?" Dean asked hopefully.

"He will remain in hell for as long as you did Dean."

"What? Why for as long as me?"

"We'll speak of it later. Right now you need to listen to Bobby. You need to get Sam away from here."

Dean watched as Castiel kneeled beside him, the angel's eyes staring at the limp body cradled in his protective arms. Castiel reached down and rested his hand over Sam's lifeless eyes and when he removed it, the eyes were closed. Next, he ran his hand over the gashes littering Sam's body, starting at his throat and moving down over his chest, stomach, arms and legs, the wounds mending right before Dean's startled eyes. When Castiel was finished, he looked up at Dean and smiled sadly.

"Let me help you get him up Dean," the angel said softly.

"No…don't touch him. Please. I've been carrying him my whole life. He's my brother…mine…" Dean whispered as he began to lift Sam up, staggering under the heavy weight.

Bobby was beside him in an instant and helped him to his feet. Dean pulled Sam tight to his chest then started to walk toward the Impala. He stopped when Ruby stepped in front of him, glaring at the demon who stared down at his precious burden. If Dean didn't know better, he could swear he saw tears in her dark eyes. Ruby slowly raised her eyes to meet Dean's. A scowl formed on her face as she shook her head slowly.

"What a waste. He's no good to me now," she said as she turned and walked away, disappearing into the night.

"Bitch…" Dean said as he started toward the car again.

Bobby hurried ahead and opened the back door of the Impala then helped Dean slide Sam's body into the back seat. Dean ran to the other side and climbed in, lifting Sam's head and resting it on his lap. Bobby climbed behind the wheel and peered at Dean through the rearview mirror. The young man idly ran his fingers through his brother's hair as he softly whispered to the still man.

Bobby started the car and put it in gear before slowly driving away. He silently prayed that his friend would keep himself together, because if what Castiel had said was true, then Sam would return to them four months from tonight. The only problem was, who, or what would Sam be when that day came?

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**Okay, I'm going into hiding now. I'll come out tomorrow when it's time to post again. Now, I have the final Junior bowling tournament this weekend and I'm a chaperone, so I can't promise two chapters on Saturday or Sunday. Long bus trips, days spent at the bowling alley, then chasing after the kids I'm responsible at the for at the hotel does not leave a lot of time. You will get at least one per day, that I can promise. So, I hope you will let me know what you think and that you will let me live, at least long enough to finish this story. Have a wonderful evening.**

**Cindy**


	8. Chapter 8

**First of all, my apologies to all who reveiwed the last few chapters. My email is not working correctly...again...so I am unable to respond to each comment personally. So, I would just like to thank each and every one of you for your wonderful comments. I know, I made some of you cry and upset some quite a bit. I can't promise it's going to get better right away. There are some chapters to come that cover Sam's time in hell and it ain't pretty. If you read the summary you know what's coming. Okay, so here is the next chapter and my plan is to post another later, after the pizza party for all the junior bowlers. You may need tissues for this chapter. **

**Cindy.**

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Dean sat on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. His chin rested on his knuckles as he stared tiredly at the still form of his brother on the other bed. Dean was dressed in his sleep clothes, Bobby having made him shower and change out of his bloody clothes once they had Sam's body situated. Bobby stood at the foot of Sam's bed, his gaze moving sadly from one brother to the other. Dean sensed the older hunter's eyes on him as he looked up with red rimmed eyes and blinked tiredly.

"Why don't you go to your room and get some sleep Bobby. I'm gonna get Sammy cleaned up…can't look at him like that anymore," the exhausted brother said, his gaze moving back to Sam's face.

"I can help you with that Dean, if you want me to," Bobby replied softly, nervous to leave his friend alone.

"Nah…Sam'll be embarrassed enough when he finds out I took his clothes off…it'll about ki…uh…he'll be mortified if he knows you helped," Dean answered with a humorless chuckle.

"You sure kid? I don't really think you should be alone," Bobby said, concern heavy in his tone.

Dean smiled sadly up at him and shook his head. "I'll be fine Bobby. Really…I'm not gonna do anything stupid if that's what you're worried about. Sam's got the corner on stupidity right now."

"Yeah…the friggin' little idjit! Well…if you're sure you'll be okay then I think I will turn in for a bit," the older hunter said, still wary of leaving Dean alone.

Dean slowly stood and approached his friend, the only family he had left. He stuck his hand out, expecting Bobby to offer his in return. "Bobby…thank you. Sam was right to call you. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

Bobby swallowed the lump in his throat and took Dean's hand. He shook his head as he began to speak. "Ahhh geez…come here ya friggin' idiot…" he said as he pulled Dean into his strong arms.

Dean tensed for a moment, but then he relaxed into Bobby's embrace as sobs began to wrack him. Bobby patted his back and just let the young hunter get it all out. His heart broke as he listened to the gut wrenching sobs coming from his adopted son, but he didn't say a word as he waited for Dean to calm. After a few moments, Dean's cries tapered off and he pulled away from Bobby.

"I don't know wh-what to do Bobby. What do I do with his body? What do I do with myself for four months? What do I do when he comes back…I mean…if he comes back," Dean questioned, a lost look in his sorrowful eyes.

"Let's just take it one day at a time okay, Dean? First, get him cleaned up and changed then, get some sleep. We'll hopefully find out what the hell is going on tomorrow. After that, I think we should take him to my place. You can stay with me and when you feel up to it, maybe we can take on a few hunts," Bobby answered.

"I don't want to impose on you Bobby. I…" Dean started, but was cut off by Bobby's gruff voice.

"You ain't imposing and you ain't going off on your own. I ain't gonna lose track of you like I did Sam. I nearly killed myself worrying about the kid. I can't do it again Dean. We're sticking together. You ain't the only one who's lost him Dean. You ain't the only one who needs to have someone around," Bobby said, his eyes conveying how serious he was.

"I'm sorry Bobby…you're right. You've been like a father to us. Of course you're grieving too. I'll…I'll stay…" Dean replied sheepishly.

"Good. Glad that's settled. Now, I'm gonna go get some shut eye. You better do the same," Bobby instructed as he moved to the side of Sam's bed.

Dean watched as the older man gazed down at Sam's lax, bloodied face. He smiled warmly when Bobby reached down and gently brushed messy hair away from Sam's closed eyes. Bobby's fingers remained on Sam's face for a moment before he pulled away and glanced up at Dean. Dean nodded his head slightly when he saw the tears that had welled in Bobby's eyes then he lowered his own so as not to cause the older hunter any embarrassment. He listened to Bobby's retreating footsteps and glanced up as the motel room door quietly shut behind his friend.

Dean moved to the table near the window and retrieved the icebucket then headed to the bathroom where he filled the bucket with warm water. He grabbed the washcloths from the rack and then returned to Sam's bedside, setting the water and cloths on the nightstand. He sat on the edge of Sam's bed and absently rubbed his fingers up and down Sam's cold arm. His eyes fell to the shredded, bloody clothes and he swallowed against the bile that suddenly rose in his throat. He closed his eyes as visions of the attack on his brother assailed him. Sam's agonized screams echoed through his mind as bloody scenes played out in his memory. Dean brushed a shaky hand through his hair and opened his eyes to once again look upon his brother.

Dean picked up a washcloth and wet it in the icebucket. He proceeded to gently wash the dried blood from Sam's face and neck, his gaze lingering on the red marks where the slashes used to be. He was thankful to Castiel for healing the wounds although the picture of them would forever be etched in his memory. Once Dean had finished cleaning all exposed skin he slowly made his way to the bathroom to rinse the washcloth then he reached for his duffel bag. He dug through the bag and retrieved the first aid kit. He opened the kit and pulled out a pair of surgical scissors then returned to sit once more next to Sam. He softly patted Sam's arm before beginning to carefully cut away the ruined clothes from his body.

"Sorry Sammy…" he whispered.

Once Sam was in only his boxers, Dean started the arduous task of cleaning the blood that covered his body. An hour later Sam was clean and Dean was rummaging through the younger man's duffel bag. He pulled out a clean pair of boxers, jeans and Sam's favorite tee shirt and button down. Dean carefully dressed his brother then sat back on his bed in exhaustion. He scrubbed his hand over his face then rose and shuffled to the bathroom. He stripped out of his sleep clothes and stepped into the shower, turning the water on and waiting for it to turn hot.

Dean stood under the spray and allowed it to ease the knots from his tense muscles. When the water began to cool, he turned the water off and stepped from the tub. He dried and redressed, brushed his teeth then moved back to the room and dropped onto his bed, his gaze once again on Sam's lax face. Dean was beyond tired, his whole body trembling with fatigue. He moved over to Sam's bed and took his brother's cool hand into his own. His eyes filled as he yearned for Sam to open his eyes, craved the sound of his baby brother's voice.

"Sammy…I hope you know what you're doing. Stay strong and come back to me little brother," Dean whispered as he set Sam's hand back down.

Dean climbed into his bed and pulled the covers up over his body. He reached over and turned the light off. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off into a less than restful slumber.

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There was nothing but pain here. Pain and suffering and anguish. Anguish so thick in the air that Sam could hardly breathe. The hooks that pierced his body felt like liquid fire and he would scream out in agony when the chains attached to the hooks would pull tight. Blisters covered Sam's skin, the intense heat too much for the sensitive tissue. Sam wondered how that was possible when he wasn't even in his body, but then again he realized, he didn't really need his body to be tortured, he was in hell after all.

"That's right Sam. You are in my domain now and for the next forty years, you belong to me," a hate filled voice rasped from Sam's right.

Sam jerked his head around, realizing he was no longer on the chains and hooks, but stretched out tight over a wooden table, his arms high above his head, his body completely naked. He swallowed at the sinister sneer of the demon who stared down at him, the 'man' running his thumb down the razor sharp blade of the fillet knife he held in his hand. Sam's eyes were riveted to the gleaming blade as it moved toward him. An evil chuckle brought Sam's gaze to the face of the demon.

"Alastair," Sam whispered fearfully.

Alastair laughed as the knife sliced the flesh from Sam's body, the young hunter's screams echoing through the blackness that surrounded him, mixing with the tortured screams of the other unfortunate souls who shared his fate.

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**Okay, I didn't get into Sam's torture too much yet, but it is coming so be prepared. Like I said in the last chapter, this isn't meant to be a bloodfest so I don't get all that graphic. Please let me know what you think and I will try to respond to your comments, email permitting.**

**Cindy.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. Now, I know you all are wondering just what it would take for Sam to make a deal. You will find that out in this chapter. I hope you liked it. I can't even get into my email now, so for all those that commented, I will read them as soon as I can get in.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean sat at the table in Bobby's room, his leg bouncing up and down as he nervously stared at the angels who stood near the door. Bobby sat in the chair opposite Dean and he too waited anxiously for Castiel or Uriel to speak. Dean's eyes wandered to the wall separating him from Sam and the only thing he could think of was how much he wanted to be there, watching over his brother. He didn't want to hear about Sam's deal he had decided, fearing he would completely lose it when he finally found out exactly what Sam had done. Bobby's gravely voice brought Dean's attention back to the room and he glanced at his friend before moving his eyes back to the angels.

"So…what exactly did the little idjit do?" the grizzled hunter queried.

"Sam made a deal that if he's able to hold on through the entirety of his time in hell, he will be freed from the curse that was placed upon him when he was six months old," Castiel answered.

"What do you mean? How will he be free?" Dean asked, his curiosity peaked.

"If Sam can withstand the torture for the four months he's in hell, his blood will be cleansed of the demon blood and he will no longer be sought after to lead the demon army," Uriel explained.

Dean's blood ran cold as he listened. His mouth went dry as his heart rate sped up. "So," he said, his voice trembling. "All Sam has to do is endure forty years of having his flesh and muscles sliced from his bones, or burned away, just to be returned to normal and then have it start all over again and he will be free of the demon blood and the powers? That's it? Is he fucking crazy!? I didn't make it forty years! What made him think he could? For God's sake, I only made it thirty years!"

Dean didn't notice the curious look he received from Bobby, his attention firmly on the angels.

"He felt he had to try Dean. He believed he had to do something to change his destiny…to keep you and the world safe from what he could become," Castiel said softly.

"Dean? What do you mean when you say forty years?" Bobby had to ask, his curiosity not allowing him to let that bit of information go unexplained.

Dean turned to Bobby, his eyes blinking as if he'd forgotten Bobby was sitting across from him. "What?" he asked.

"You were in hell for four months Dean, but you said forty years. What does that mean?" Bobby replied.

"It means that it may have been four months here, but it was forty years there," Dean answered with a whisper.

"Shit. And what did you mean when you said you only made it thirty years?"

"Can we talk about this later Bobby? I need to find out about Sam."

Bobby's look was all Dean needed to know Bobby wouldn't wait for his answer. Dean let out a heavy sigh then swallowed hard before replying. Bobby got the distinct feeling he wasn't going to like what he heard, not only for what it meant for Dean, but also for Sam.

"It means I made it thirty years before I couldn't take it anymore…before I begged to be off that table…away from that fucking knife. It means that in order to get off that table, I had to become the torturer…"

"Shit Dean…I'm sorry…"

"Don't be Bobby. I put myself there and now I've put Sam there…"

"Sam put himself there Dean…you can't blame yourself for that."

"I sure the hell can! I told him he was something that I'd hunt Bobby! Basically let him believe I didn't think he was human anymore…I drove him to this and now he's there…"

Bobby ignored the fresh tears in Dean's eyes as he reached across the table and grasped his forearm comfortingly. He made sure Dean was looking at him before he spoke. He smiled softly when Dean's green eyes focused on him.

"Dean…you didn't drive Sam to this. He knows you don't think of him that way. This has been a long time coming. I thought he might do something drastic but then once you came back, I thought he'd be okay," the older hunter said, hoping Dean would take it to heart, but not really believing he would.

"Thanks Bobby…really…but, you didn't see his face. You didn't see how much I hurt him with those words. If he didn't think he was less than human before, what I said certainly pushed him there. This is on me…completely…"

Bobby shook his head as he pulled his hand back over the table.

"Stupid ass, stubborn Winchesters…gonna be the death of me…" he muttered as he collapsed back in his chair. Dean's voice brought his attention back to his young friend.

"So…what happens if Sam doesn't make it the full forty years?" the younger hunter queried, his voice shaky with fear.

"If Sam gives in, he will still come back after the four months are up," Castiel answered.

"But…?" Dean coaxed.

"But, he will belong to Lilith. He'll be able to stay with you until Lilith decides it's time for him to go with her, then he has to freely give himself and his powers over to her," the angel explained, his intense gaze never leaving Dean's shocked face.

"Wh-what?" Bobby's disbelieving voice sounded when Dean made no sound other than a pained sob.

"It may be minutes, hours, days or even weeks, but once Lilith summons him he has to go and he will no longer be the Sam you remember…the brother you love," Castiel continued, his answer still directed at Dean.

Dean stared in disbelief at the angel, his body trembling with sorrow, fear and unbridled anger.

"You let him make this deal? You…you encouraged him? Why? Son of a bitch! How could you let him do this!?" Dean screamed with fury.

"It was his choice…his decision. We merely guided and advised him…"

"You guided him toward the decision he made! Shit! I'm gonna be fighting my own brother…he'll be the enemy…"

"Dean…give Sam a little more credit," Castiel said softly.

"I am…but, I've been through it. I know what he has to go through. I didn't make it…how can he?" Dean whispered brokenly.

"He has to or…"

"Or…Lilith gets him…"

"He set up a failsafe Dean. That's what he wanted from us," Uriel said.

Dean looked at the angel and blinked in confusion. "What?" he queried.

"Lilith won't get him…either way, Lilith has lost and she doesn't even know it," the dark skinned angel said in reply.

"H-How?" Dean asked softly.

"If Sam fails, we kill him upon his awakening…"

"What!? No friggin' way!" Dean screamed incredulously.

"It's what Sam wants. He asked if it would work. If he failed and if we kill him, would that keep his soul away from Lilith so that she couldn't use him against mankind. It will," Castiel explained.

"The little shit thought of everything," Bobby murmured, shaking his head in admiration.

"Not everything. Did he realize that once he was gone, the demons would be coming at me full force? They're probably pissed that I got out. With Sam down there…" Dean was cut off by Castiel's even voice.

"He thought of that too, Dean. Part of the deal is that no demon can come after you...Bobby either. No demon can hurt you or have you hurt in anyway or it's off and he walks away, free of the demon blood. If a demon so much as breaths their foul stench on either of you, Sam wins," Castiel explained.

"How the hell long did the little bitch think about this?" Dean wondered aloud.

"It was very important to Sam that he not be used as a puppet against you…against any human. He surprised me. I was wrong about him," Uriel said.

"Ya think!?" Dean snapped at the angel.

"So…Sam didn't make this deal directly with Lilith…what does the crossroad demon get out of this?" Bobby asked in an attempt to avoid a fight between his friend and Uriel.

"Sam would be Lilith's puppet, her General, but he would be the crossroad demon's toy. She can play with him any way she wants as long as he isn't needed on the battlefield…"

"What?" Dean cried.

"We know what she wants from Sam. We heard her…saw her that night. Let's just say…she's a naughty little demon," Uriel said.

Dean felt sick, the thought of the crossroad demon's hands on his brother, doing horrible, ungodly things to him made the bile rise so fast he barely had time to grab the trashcan near his chair before the contents of his stomach made their appearance. Bobby was by his side in a flash his firm grip on Dean's arm, free hand rubbing circles on his back. Once Dean finished retching, he looked up with watery eyes, the anguish in their depths breaking Bobby's heart.

"It won't come to that Dean," Castiel said softly, bringing the hunter's attention around.

"Yeah…'cause if he doesn't make it forty years…you'll kill him as soon as he wakes up," Dean said bitterly.

Castiel nodded as he looked at the floor. He lifted his eyes again and smiled sadly.

"You should take Sam to Bobby's. Keep his body safe until he returns. He won't…deteriorate. And Dean…don't go looking for demons to try and get them to hurt you…it wouldn't be good for Sam," Castiel warned.

"What? I wasn't…yeah…okay," Dean stammered, forgetting that the angel could read him so easily.

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Dean stepped back into his room. He and Sam's room. His eyes immediately fell on Sam's still form. He trudged tiredly to Sam's bed and sat next to his brother, his fingers reaching up to tenderly caress his cold cheek.

"You thought of everything didn't you little brother? You always were way too smart for your own good," Dean whispered as he lovingly gazed upon Sam's peaceful face.

Dean rubbed his free hand over his face then looked at Sam again.

"You be strong Sammy. I know what you're going through, but you have to make it kiddo. I can't see you die again. I just can't."

Dean pulled away and collapsed onto his bed, the exhaustion he felt pulling him into a much needed slumber. He would sleep dream free, at least this once, but the nightmares would begin soon enough.

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**Well? I hope I didn't disappoint you all with the deal. You had to wait so long, I hope it wasn't a let down. Anyway, please let me know what you think.**

**Cindy.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey all......and good morning! Well at least to those in my part of the world where it is morning. I'm doing a morning post because I seriously don't know when I'll have another chance today. The bowling continues then the long bus ride home. Both of my boys did extremely well yesterday. My oldest, who hurt his knee but is fine now, is sitting in first place in singles, doubles and all events with just the team event to go. This is the state tournament so that is quite an accomplishment. My youngest is doing very well also, but they didn't have the results posted for they little kids yet. Anyway, on with the story. WARNING: This chapter contains disturbing scenes of torture. Nothing overly graphic, but thought you'd need the warning none the less. You'll be seeing a few of these warnings for awhile.**

**Cindy.**

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"Uhnnnnn…G-God…" Sam's pain filled, breathless voice whispered, his eyes scrunched up against the agony he was currently in.

"There's no God here for you boy. Boy king…what a joke…" a menacing voice hissed near Sam's left ear, a cruel chuckle following the hiss.

Sam's eyes remained tightly closed as he breathed through the pain, trying as hard as he could to keep the picture of Dean's face in his mind. He drew strength from the memory of his brother and as long as he could still see him, he would be able to hold on. Sam panted as he tried to push the pain from his mind just like his father and brother had taught him to do so long ago.

_'Imagine the pain as a small ball…now, wrap your mind around it and push it away. That's it Sammy…'_ John's gruff voice filtered through Sam's memories.

But, his family had never prepared him for this kind of pain. They never knew he'd have his flesh and muscles flayed from his bones one moment then boiled away the next. They never could have imagined his limbs being slowly, methodically sawed off of him. And now this new torture, who would have ever thought he'd have to endure something so horrific. Blinding, mind numbing pain tore through Sam's abdomen and he screamed out, his voice all but gone from hour upon hour of screaming. His eyes flew open wide and he swallowed against the sickness threatening to escape his churning stomach.

"That's it Sammy boy…keep those eyes open. I'll bet you've never seen your insides before, have you?" Alastair growled as he leaned in over Sam, the silently screaming man's intestines held up in the demon's blood covered hands for Sam to see.

Alastair pulled and more of the gruesome coils made their way out of the large incision in Sam's abdomen. Sam's body bucked up off he table as far as the restraints allowed, his mouth wide open, but silent. He crashed back to the unforgiving surface of the table just as Alastair dropped his burden to the ground with a sickening, wet splat. Sam's tortured eyes found his tormentors sneering face again and he could do nothing but groan when the demon pushed his hand into Sam's body, rooting up through his chest cavity until his fingers found the young man's frantically beating heart.

Alastair closed his hand around Sam's heart and squeezed mercilessly, laughing out loud as the man gasped, spasms wracking his body. The demon jerked his hand down, ripping the heart away and pulling it into the open air. This time Sam found his voice and his screams filled his ears, never relenting until his eyes finally began to close as he sank into the dark void, the final beat of his heart, held loosely in the demon's hand, the last thing he saw before the darkness claimed him.

Sam's eyes shot open as he awoke with a gasp. His gaze trailed down his nude, restrained and unmarred body. A low chuckle brought his attention up and to his left and soon he was staring into the soulless eyes of his tormentor. Alastair held a large, long bladed knife in his hand. He reached out with his other hand and ran his fingers down the left side of Sam's sweat soaked body, starting at his cheek then moving over his chest and stomach before pausing just below his hipbone. The demon lifted his fingers to his lips and crudely sucked them into his mouth. He closed his eyes for a moment, a sickening smile curling his lips.

"Mmmmm…you taste so good, boy king," Alastair hummed as he moved the knife toward Sam's chest. "Shall we start again?" he queried, slicing through the sensitive flesh over the struggling man's collarbone.

Sam hissed and closed his eyes, willing Dean's face to once more provide him the strength he needed. As the pain intensified he began to chant the same words over and over until the pain receded to the back of his muddled mind.

"For Dean…"

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Dean frantically awoke, a scream tearing out between his chapped lips. He tried to catch his breath as he clutched at his chest. The door bursting open made him jump and he looked up to see Bobby standing in the doorway of the bedroom he occupied, machete in his shaking hand.

"Dean! Wh-what happened? Are you okay?" the breathless man cried as he lowered his weapon and moved closer to Dean's bed.

"Y-yeah. Nightmare…I think…I don't know…" Dean stammered as he tried to get his breathing under control.

"What do you mean? Was it a nightmare or not?" Bobby asked with confusion.

Dean shook his head as he raised a shaky hand to his face. "I…I think they're making me see what…what they're doing to Sammy," he whispered, the vision of Sam's beating heart held in the demon's hand still fresh in his memory.

"What?" Bobby questioned in a shocked voice.

"I saw Sammy…strapped to a wooden table, just like I was. He was naked and…oh God Bobby…" Dean cried brokenly.

"Dean…son, it's okay…just tell me what you saw," Bobby coaxed as his hand gently squeezed Dean's shoulder.

"He…he was screaming…he was in so much pain. The demon…it…it disemboweled him…"

"Oh my God…Dean…I'm so sorry," Bobby whispered.

"It reached into his body and…and it…it ripped out his heart. The bastard ripped out Sammy's heart, Bobby." Dean was sobbing by this time and Bobby was at a loss as to what to say or do.

"Are you sure it's not just a nightmare Dean? Couldn't it just be your fear of what may be happening?" the older man questioned softly.

Dean shook his head and glanced up with bloodshot eyes. "N-no…it was too vivid Bobby. Not like a dream…more like I was there as a witness," he said shakily.

"Why then? Why send you those images?"

"Because they can't touch me. They can't physically hurt me…so…"

"So what better way to torture you than to let you see what they're doing to Sam…" Bobby finished for the distraught young hunter.

"Yeah. Oh God Bobby…they never did that to me. It was always the same every day. They're pulling out all the stops with Sammy…"

"They need to break him. They're scared to death of what will happen if they don't."

"But, why? I mean…they're so afraid of Sam's powers. If he walks away…cleansed of the demon blood and powers…doesn't that help them? He can't be they're leader anymore so he won't be stepping on anyone's toes. He can't kill them anymore with his mind."

"Unless…" Bobby started thoughtfully.

"Unless what?" Dean queried.

"Unless he doesn't lose the powers with the demon blood."

"What? But…"

"Dean…what if he already had the abilities? What if the demon blood just brought them out? If that were the case, conceivably, he could still use the powers against them without the threat of going darkside," Bobby speculated.

"Shit! That would make sense. I've always wondered why if they didn't want a human leading them, or they were just plain afraid of Sam…why didn't they just remove the demon blood? I mean…I thought it could be possible for them to do that and obviously I was right. It makes sense that the powers didn't come from the demon. Lilith tried to kill him after the hounds came for me and she couldn't…"

"So, if Sam makes it…he may still be able to use his abilities. He'll be a major weapon against the demons."

Dean's eyes widened at the implications. "Oh shit Bobby…" he said weakly.

"What? Dean…what's wrong?" the older man questioned.

"If this is the case…what I saw will only be the tip of the iceberg. They're gonna break Sammy any way they can," Dean whispered, his face paling alarmingly.

"Dean…boy, snap out of it! You're scaring me here," Bobby cried at Dean's horrified stare.

"Bobby, I remember…I remember everything that happened to me. Oh God…Sam will too. He'll remember and he's getting it so much worse than I got. If he comes back…if he makes it…how will it leave him? I may lose him anyway Bobby. I may lose him anyway…"

Bobby dropped next to Dean and took the younger man's face in his hands. Dean slowly met his gaze and gulped convulsively. Bobby moved his hands to Dean's shoulders and squeezed.

"Whatever happens Dean, we'll deal with it. I'm not even gonna try and sugarcoat it kid. If he makes it through this, he's gonna be messed up, big time. But, we'll be there to hold him up. You won't let him fall Dean. You'll never let him fall."

Dean's eyes filled as he nodded hesitantly, his eyes lowering to his lap.

"Yeah…we'll make sure he's okay. I'll be there for him. He'll be okay right? Maybe not at first, but he will be…eventually…right?"

"He will be Dean. I'm sure of it."

"I don't want to see it anymore Bobby. I can't bare to see him in pain like that…"

"I know kid…but, you need to talk to me about it. You can't keep what you see and hear bottled up. Put some of that burden on me Dean. I mean it."

"Thanks Bobby…you too though."

"What? What do you mean?"

"They can't touch you either Bobby. They know how much Sammy means to you. They may send you visions too."

"Awww shit… I never thought of that. Well, we'll help each other then."

"Maybe Castiel can work some angelic mojo to keep the visions away…"

"Maybe."

"I don't know though. Maybe I need to see. As long as they're sending me and possibly you the visions, that means they haven't broken him yet. Maybe it's better if we see," Dean theorized, shuddering at having to witness more of what he'd already seen.

"Maybe…but they could always mess with us too. They could stop sending the visions just to make us think they broke him. They aren't very reliable about being truthful," Bobby replied a he stood from the bed.

"Yeah…you got that right. Shit Bobby…we're so screwed until the four months are up," Dean said softly.

"Yep…totally screwed. Now…come on, you need food in ya and so do I," Bobby said as he pulled Dean up from the bed.

"I don't think I can eat Bobby," Dean replied, his stomach roiling at the thought of food.

"Tough. Sam needs us to keep it together. He needs us to stay healthy for when he returns Dean. Your job for now is to hold on and stay safe and healthy. For Sam."

Dean gazed and nodded at his friend. "For Sam," he whispered as he followed Bobby out of the room.

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Uriel sat next to Castiel, his dark eyes gazing out over the park where children played and parents carefully watched over them. He sat hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees, his hand clasped loosely together.

"So…what do you think? Can the kid do it?" the angel's deep timbre asked of the silent angel beside him.

Castiel leaned back against the benchrest and sighed. "He's holding his own…for now. They're going to hit him with everything they have and soon we won't be able to tune into him anymore. He's on his own I'm afraid."

"Kid's strong. Stronger than I thought," Uriel muttered.

"I'm worried about Dean. I'm worried that he can't hold it together. His brother is everything to him," Castiel said softly, his light eyes staring out over the park.

"He's with the old man. Bobby will keep an eye on him, as will we," Uriel replied, his gaze moving to the other angel.

"I'm talking about if Sam fails. Dean will fall apart if we have to kill Sam. Dean is needed…so is Sam. If Sam fails, all may be lost."

Uriel nodded as his gaze returned to the laughing children in the park. The fate of the world rested on one young man's shoulders. If he failed, all of these children would soon be gone and the world would fall into darkness and despair. Evil would roam free to maim and murder at will, unchallenged. Sam Winchester had to be victorious. To fail would mean the end for every human on earth.

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**So, are you all still with me? Hope so. Now, I've put the whole idea of Sam's powers being his own in this story because I've always wondered about it. If you remember back in season one the episode Salvation I believe when they were trying to save the family that they believed YED was coming for next, Sam met the mother and baby Rosie. One thing the mother said has stayed with me all this time. She something to the effects of: "It's funny, but when she looks at you, it's like she can read your mind." Now, that sounds to me like Rosie had her powers before YED came along to feed her his blood. So, don't know what the writers are thinking, or maybe they forgot they put that line in, but it is something to think about. I hope you enjoyed that chapter and I will try to post another later tonight when I finally get home. If not, I'll certainly post another tomorrow.**

**Cindy.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Next chapter folks. I can't believe the response I've had. It's amazing. Thank you all so much!! WARNING: This chapter contains very disturbing content. Non-graphic discription of non-con so be prepared. Okay, you will also need tissues. I'm thinking lots of tissues. **

**Cindy.**

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**Two Months Later**

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy…why do you continue to hold on for a world that doesn't give a rat's ass about the sacrifices you've made for it?" Alastair queried cruelly as he pressed a red hot poker into the sensitive flesh beneath Sam's left eye.

"G-go to hell…" Sam panted through clenched teeth, the stench of burning flesh making his stomach turn.

"Already there Sammy. You can't hold out so why not give in now and save yourself a shitload of pain?" the demon hissed, moving the glowing piece of metal down Sam's cheek, the flesh sizzling as it burned, before moving it over his gasping lips.

"Unnnn…when are y-you gonna learn…'m not breaking. You've sliced and diced me…cooked me…raped me. 'm not breaking…" Sam gasped as the poker was suddenly thrust into his mouth.

The ever heated poker pushed through the back of Sam's throat, leaving the writhing man unable to speak. A rough hand grabbed his hair and yanked upward viciously as the demon leaned toward the prone figure, his vile lips brushing over Sam's ear.

"Are you holding on for Dean? For a brother who is happy you are dead? A brother who no longer loves you? Dean's happy now Sam. He's free of your worthless ass. He burned your mangled body not more than an hour after you died Sammy boy. What does that tell you? He never loved you…he only pretended," Alastair whispered, chuckling when he saw a lone tear trickle down Sam's cheek.

Alastair continued to press on the poker until the tip penetrated the back of Sam's neck and hit the wooden table beneath him. Sam gasped and sputtered as he arched off the table, his fingertips digging deeply into the table until the nails were ripped free from their nailbeds. Alastair laughed maniacally as he twisted the poker and pulled it back before thrusting it once again through the back of Sam's throat. Sam tried to scream but blood flooded his windpipe, closing off any air that would allow his lungs to fill. Apparently, the poker hadn't done a very good job of cauterizing the blood vessels as it tore through him, Sam thought absently as he concentrated on trying to breathe. Suddenly, he stopped trying. He was already dead afterall and was just going to wake up again in a few moments to some new torture, or old one if the fancy struck his tormentor.

Sam eased his eyes closed as he waited for the darkness to come, preparing himself for when he would awaken and the pain would start again. He shuddered when he thought of what Alastair would do. The rapes were the worst by far. Sam could endure the pain of skin being peeled away, fingers and toes being broken, and every other torture that Alastair inflicted on him, but the rapes were different. Yes, they were painful, but they were also demeaning and Sam could not shake how violated and filthy they left him feeling. They were the one form of torture that he never forgot, could never push from his mind. Alastair was brutal in his attacks and Sam would find himself praying that the demon would give his subordinates the pleasure because as bad as it was when that did happen, it wasn't even close to the brutality that Alastair employed.

The pain died away as Sam gave in to the darkness that called, but it started again immediately as his eyes flew open and he realized he was no longer strapped to the wooden table. He glanced up the length of his raised arms and swallowed as he took in the hooks that pierced each wrist. The hooks were attached to chains suspended from the rock ceiling and Sam dangled a few inches from the stone floor beneath him. Blood coated his arms and dripped to the floor as it seeped from the wounds in his wrists and he swallowed against the bile that rose in his throat. He knew what was coming when he was suspended like this. It had happened so many times before.

A rough hand on the small of his back had Sam jerking his head around in a panic. Alastair stood behind him, slightly to his left. The demon was completely naked and had a lecherous sneer on his cruel face. His hand moved around Sam's trembling body until it rested on his quivering stomach and the demon leaned in until his lips ghosted over Sam's ear.

"He sees everything I do to you Sammy. I wonder what he thinks about you now? I wonder how disgusted he is by you when he sees how much you like it. When you go back, how will he look at you? Will he even be able to look at you?" the demon whispered as his tongue slipped into Sam's ear.

Sam shuddered in revulsion as the demon's hands trailed over his body. He concentrated on the agony in his wrists and arms, hoping to block out what was to come. This wasn't the first time Alastair told him that Dean could see the torture's he endured. He could only pray the demon was lying, but knew that this was probably one time he spoke the truth. Tears spilled down his face as he thought of what his brother must think of him. How he must think Sam was so weak to allow something so vile to happen to him, regardless of the situation. Sam felt weak. He felt like he should be able to prevent this. How, he wasn't sure, he just knew that no matter what, he should be able to stop this.

"Dean…I'm sorry…" the traumatized young hunter cried softly as the demon continued to touch him.

"Dean will never forgive you boy king. Now…shall we begin?" the demon hissed as he pulled Sam's body roughly against his own.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Sam screamed, the sound echoing through the rock chambers, never to find a sympathetic ear.

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"NO! Sammy!" Dean screamed as he bolted up from his pillow.

He clutched at the blankets that covered him and tossed them aside as he scrambled off the bed. He raced to the bathroom across the hall from his room and dropped down next to the toilet just in time for his stomach contents to make an appearance. He heaved and heaved, barely noticing as a cool, gentle hand began to rub circles on his back and a sleep filled voice whispered soft words of comfort.

After what seemed an eternity, the heaving ended and Dean collapsed back against Bobby's chest, his head falling against the older man's shoulder. Bobby wrapped his arms around the younger hunter's chest and held the man as sobs wracked his trembling frame. Bobby couldn't help but notice how his friend felt smaller, more frail. Dean hadn't been eating well and the weightloss was quite noticeable. Dark bags hung below his tired eyes, a testament to the nightly visions he was sent. Bobby was sure he didn't look much better as he too was the recipient of said visions. He didn't receive them as often as Dean, but he would sometimes not sleep for days after receiving one, the scenes he was made privy to chasing any chance at rest away.

Dean's anguished voice brought Bobby out of his musings and he gently moved Dean so he could look in the distraught young man's eyes.

"What Dean? I'm sorry…I didn't hear you," the grizzled hunter queried softly.

"He's ra…he's…oh God Bobby…how can Sam withstand this…this…again…" Dean sputtered, tears streaming from his bloodshot eyes.

"I know Dean…I know. They sent me the vision too. I saw what…what they're doing to him," Bobby whispered, the memory of the vision slamming viciously into him, causing the breath to catch in his throat.

"I h-heard what the bastard said to him. I saw Sam's tears. I saw my Sammy's tears…" Dean cried as he raised a shaky hand to his face.

"It's okay Dean. Sam's endured it already…he will again."

"No Bobby. He believes him. Sammy believes him."

"What do you mean kid?"

"Sammy believes that I'm disgusted by him. They show me his eyes and I can see it. He believes what that bastard is telling him Bobby…" Dean whispered, the sadness and despair in his voice hurting Bobby to his core.

"Then…when he comes back, you'll make him see the truth. He'll believe you Dean."

"Two more months Bobby. Twenty years for Sam. How can he hold on with this? The torture is bad enough, but this? They're doing the absolute worst thing they can do and they know it."

"Dean…Sam'll endure…he's strong. They won't break him, boy."

"Maybe…maybe I want them to Bobby."

"What!? No Dean…you don't mean that."

"I just…I just want it to stop. I want him off that table…off those damn hooks. I don't want to see anymore."

"Is that for you or for him Dean?"

"What?"

"Do you want him to break to ease his suffering or yours?"

"Bobby…"

"No Dean. Look…I know it's hard. I know it's excruciating to watch and I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for Sam, but…do you think he'd rather have the alternative?"

"It's just so hard to see him…to…"

"Dean…which was worse for you? Your torture or the torture you inflicted on others? Which do you remember the most? Which one haunts your dreams?"

"Oh God Bobby…you know the answer to that," Dean cried in misery.

"I know Dean. Now, which would be worse for Sam? You know he'll come back from what's happening to him. It'll take time, but he will come back. I truly don't think he will come back if he's forced to inflict that pain on others."

"But Bobby…"

"If he comes back and he wasn't able to hold on…the angels will kill him. He'll die and he'll have all of eternity in limbo to remember what he did. Is that what you want for him?"

Dean dropped his chin to his chest and softly began to cry. He shook his head sadly as he looked back up to his friend. "No, that's not what I want for him."

Bobby sat back against the tub and gently pulled Dean to his side and waited for the young man to cry it out.

"I don't know how much more I can take Bobby," came Dean's pained whisper. "I've never been good at seeing Sam in pain."

As it turned out, that was the last vision either man was sent. Dean soon discovered that as hard as it was to witness Sam's torture, it was ten times harder not knowing what was happening to his baby brother.

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**I know. That was hard. It was so hard to write and when I first posted this, I was very afraid and almost changed everything so I wouldn't have to. But, I knew Alastair would pull out everything he had to try and break Sam and that was the absolute worst thing I could come up with. Worse than any bloody torture. Please let me know what you think.**

**Cindy.**


	12. Chapter 12

**So, after that last chapter are you all ready for Sam's reawakening? Are you ready to find out if he made it forty years or not? Okay then, here is the next chapter. Now, I know I didn't go too much into Sam's time in hell, but I think less is more in some cases. So, on with the story.**

**Cindy.**

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**Two Months Later-11:30 P.M.**

Dean sat in a chair next to the low table that held Sam's cold body. Sam had been kept in Bobby's iron lined room as it was the best place to keep his body safe. Dean held Sam's hand while brushing his fingers tenderly through the still man's hair.

"It's almost time, Sammy. It's almost time for you to come home," he whispered softly as he continued to stroke Sam's hair. "I'm sorry…I…when the visions stopped, I was glad. I was glad to not have to see you suffer Sammy. I…it was worse though…not knowing what was happening to you."

Dean brushed his hand over his face as he attempted to calm his frayed nerves. He didn't think he'd ever been this nervous before, not even when the hellhounds were coming for him. This was his Sammy afterall. This was the night he found out if he got to keep his kid brother with him or if he had to watch as he was taken from him yet again. This was the night that would tell him how much longer he had to live because there was no way he would live without Sam. No way in hell. His tired, green eyes fell on Sam's lax face once more and he smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry for what you had to go through Sammy. I'm sorry for the deal Mom made to save Dad. Well…I'm sorry and I'm not. I don't think we would have been as close if we didn't have this life and I can't imagine you being more like an aquaintance than a brother to me. You're more than just my brother…you're my best friend. God Sam…you have to have held on…I…I can't lose you again. Twice is enough. If anyone is strong enough though little brother…it's you," Dean said softly, his eyes never leaving Sam's face.

A shuffling sound brought Dean's attention to the open door of the safe room and he nodded minutely when he spied Bobby standing there, a nervous look on his face.

"Sorry Dean…uh…I think we better get Sam upstairs now. It's almost time and the angels are already here," Bobby said apologetically as he moved into the room.

"Yeah…okay Bobby," Dean replied.

He stood then reached down to grab onto Sam's arm. Bobby moved to the other side of the table and the two men pulled the limp body up from where it lay. Dean leaned over and guided Sam over his shoulder then straightened, grunting at the dead weight. Bobby steadied and supported him with a hand to his lower back then followed Dean as he carried his brother from the room.

Bobby followed along behind Dean as they made their way up the stairs from the basement. He kept his eyes on the back of Dean's head in an attempt to spare himself the pain of seeing Sam's lifeless body draped over his brother's shoulder. This was his family and he knew without a doubt that if Sam came back only to be killed by the angels, he would lose not one, but two sons. Bobby could see it in Dean's eyes. If Sam was taken from him again, he would follow not long after. There would be nothing he or Castiel could do to change that. Sam was Dean's life, his purpose, his everything. Without his little brother, Bobby knew Dean didn't feel there was any reason for him to stick around.

"Damn friggin' Winchesters…gonna be the death of me," Bobby mumbled under his breath, a large lump forming in his throat at the thought of possibly losing both 'his' boys today.

"What was that Bobby?" Dean's hoarse voice called from the landing at the top of the stairs.

"Nothin'…not important," Bobby answered back as he stepped onto the landing behind Dean.

Dean nodded and pushed through the open doorway and headed for the livingroom with his precious burden. Bobby shut the basement door behind himself and followed his fellow hunter. He helped Dean gently lay Sam on the sofa, the tall hunter's legs sticking out over the armrest of the too short piece of furniture. Bobby finally took a look at the youngest hunter, marveling at how pristine he looked. He had been dead for four months, but merely looked like he was sleeping. Although his skin was a bit ashen, his cheeks carried a pink hue and his lips, though somewhat pale, remained soft and slightly parted.

Dean followed Bobby's gaze and smiled slightly. The clothes he had dressed Sam in after washing his body still looked fresh and unrumpled and the younger man's hair still held the sheen it had that fateful night four months ago. Dean reached down to straighten the hem of Sam's shirt before he looked up and finally acknowledged the others present in the room.

Uriel stood near the window, his hands clasped behind his back as he stared intently at the youngest in the room. Castiel was seated in the armchair across the room. His elbows rested on his knees and his chin was supported by his entwined fingers. He too had his gaze locked on Sam, his eyes moving to the antique cuckoo clock momentarily before resuming their stare.

"So…I suppose you can't tell me if he made it or not, huh?" Dean queried anxiously as his eyes drifted from one angel to the other.

"I'm sorry Dean…we won't know until he wakes up," Castiel said, his light eyes moving from Sam's still form to the older brother.

"Yeah…figured as much," Dean muttered as he pulled a chair up to sit next to Sam's shoulder.

"So…how soon after he wakes up will it be before the demons come at us," Bobby asked in his gruff voice.

"If Sam gave in, it could be anytime. They won't attack…they won't need to. Sam has to freely give himself over to them," Uriel answered deeply.

"And if he didn't give in?" Dean queried.

"Well, they'll probably keep their distance as long as they know we are here," Castiel said, nodding his head toward Uriel.

"So we'll have some time before all hell breaks loose?" Bobby questioned.

"Yes…a little. They don't know that Sam will still have his abilities so they may try something soon…" Uriel started.

"Sam won't lose the abilities? They didn't come from Azazel's blood?" Dean asked.

"Azazel's blood merely awakened them. Sam would be psychic with or without the blood. They may have been much weaker, but he still would have had them. I'm sure you had that figured out though?" Uriel answered.

"Well, I...we...Bobby and me wondered about it. But, we also thought that the demons would know if the powers came from the demon blood or not. Are you saying they think his powers are not his own?"

"Azazel made it clear to his fellow demons that he gave the powers to the special children. He lied to them. They have no idea that Sam's powers were his before he was visited in his nursery," Castiel answered.

Dean opened his mouth to ask yet another question, but the sudden chiming of the clock stopped all sound completely. Four sets of eyes stared at the clock and when the final chime rang, those eyes moved to rest on the youngest Winchester. When after a few minutes had passed and Sam had yet to move, Dean looked to Castiel, panic in his eyes.

"Why isn't he waking up? What the hell's going on?" he cried with alarm.

A soft moan from the sofa was his answer and he whipped his head around to see Sam slowly rolling his head from side to side. Dean slid off of his chair and kneeled next to Sam, taking the slowly waking man's hand in his. Bobby moved beside Dean and stared down in anticipation as Sam's eyes began to flutter open. Suddenly Sam arched up off the sofa as he gasped for air, his eyes open and staring up in fear. Dean squeezed his hand and the panicked man jerked his head in the older man's direction. Although his eyes stared at Dean, there was no recognition in them.

Sam hastily pulled his hand away, whimpering as he scrambled backwards over the arm of the sofa and fell heavily to the wooden floor. Dean rushed after him, but at his slight touch Sam cried out and crawled away before curling up tight in the corner of the room, his body rocking back and forth as he pulled his knees closer to his chest. Dean moved slowly to him and Sam pressed himself further into the corner.

"No…please. No more…please don't touch me anymore…" Sam whispered pleadingly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Sammy…it's me kiddo. It's Dean," Dean said comfortingly, hoping to calm his freaked out brother.

"Please…it hurts…please…no more…"

"Sam…it's over with. Nobody's gonna hurt you anymore," Dean promised as he reached out and tenderly touched Sam's arm.

Sam's eyes swept up to Dean's face and they widened as he recognized the man before him. The tears he'd held at bay began to cascade down his cheeks and he began to whimper pathetically.

"It's okay Sam…you're home…you're safe…"

"Nononono…not him. Anyone but him. Use Dad, Mom…Jess. Just not him. Please…not Dean. Oh God…please don't wear his face," Sam pled as he held his hand out, palm forward in a gesture of fear.

"No Sammy…it's me. It's really me…" Dean cried.

"No…leave me alone. You're not him…you're not him!" Sam screamed then suddenly, horrifyingly began to slam the back of his head against the wall.

Dean lunged forward with a startled cry and grabbed Sam around his shoulders then pulled him away from the wall. Sam cried out and clawed at Dean, trying to escape the arms that held him tight.

"Please…no more…not Dean…not Dean," Sam pled, his struggles weakening as Dean continued to hold him.

"Shhhh…it's me Sammy…it's me…"

Bobby moved behind Dean, his eyes bright as he stared down at the heartbreaking scene. He let out a deep sigh as Sam seemed to relax against his brother. Dean eased his hold and gave Sam the chance he needed. The younger man pushed Dean backward, the older brother falling back on his butt as he reached out to try and grab Sam's arm. Sam escaped his grasp and stumbled across the room toward the door, evading Bobby's reach along the way.

"Sammy! Stop…you're not in hell anymore! Please Sam…stop!" Dean cried as he scrambled from the floor.

Sam stumbled forward, stopping abruptly when he ran headlong into the formidable angel named Uriel. His eyes widened in fear and he shrank back from the angel.

"Stay away! Don't touch me!" Sam screamed as he backed away.

Suddenly, Sam was grabbed from behind and turned around. His eyes found Dean's and he cried out again in anguish. A hand reached in from beside Sam and softly touched him on the forehead. Sam's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed into Dean's arms. Bobby rushed forward and helped Dean carry the unconscious man to the sofa and together they carefully laid him down. Dean pulled a blanket over his brother and brushed a shaky hand over his face. He turned to Castiel, his eyes wet with tears.

"Is he…he's not…?" Dean stammered fearfully.

"He's fine Dean. He may have a headache when he wakes, but he's fine," the angel said softly.

Dean collapsed onto the edge of the sofa and tried to steady his erratic breathing. "Does that mean that he made it? Did Sam hold on for forty years?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes Dean. Sam is free from the demon blood."

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**So? Comments make me happy!**

**Cindy.**


	13. Chapter 13

**So, Sam's awake and free from hell, but he doesn't quite know that yet. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean sat on the floor with his back resting against the front of the sofa. His knees were drawn up and he had his arms draped lightly over them, his hands dangling limply. His chin rested on his chest and his eyes were closed. The man however was not asleep. He kept replaying the scene of Sam's awakening through his mind. The terror in Sam's eyes when he recognized his brother. Sam thought Dean was Alastair, torturing him using his older brother's face. And what Sam had said. The dirty fucking demon bastard must have used everyone Sam loved to torment him. In his mind Dean kept hearing the sound of Sam's head hitting the wall over and over and it make him physically ill.

Dean wondered why just this one time things couldn't work out for them. Why couldn't Sam have woken up and been happy to see him. But no, he had to bring his memories with him and what he had endured had most likely scarred him for life. Dean wondered fearfully if he would ever get his Sammy back. He wanted his pain in the ass, drive him up the frickin' wall little brother whom he loved more than life itself back and he wanted him back now. Rage surged through the tired hunter at the demon responsible for most of Sam's torment. Alastair was going down and he was going down hard.

"You might want to leave Alastair for Sam. I think he may want to be the one to bring the demon down," Castiel's soft voice whispered, breaking Dean from his tortured thoughts.

Dean slowly lifted his head and peered at the angel before turning to look over his left shoulder at his sleeping brother's face. Sam appeared peaceful and Dean smiled slightly at the soft sounds coming from the younger man's lips. Dean turned back to Castiel and sighed softly.

"So…what did you do to him? Why'd you knock him out?" Dean asked, his voice weak with exhaustion.

"Sam needed to calm down. If he had gotten out that door, in the state he was in, he would have been easy pickings for the demons," the angel answered.

Dean nodded his understanding and glanced back at Sam.

"How long will he be out?"

"This is technically the first sleep he's had in four months. Being dead isn't the same and in hell he wasn't allowed any rest. I wouldn't expect him to wake for quite some time," Castiel replied. "You should get some sleep yourself Dean."

"I need to be near him. Need to be here in case he wakes up," Dean said softly.

"And what happens if he freaks again Dean? It may be better if I sit with him," Bobby's gruff voice sounded from the bottom of the staircase.

"Bobby…you're just as beat as me…" Dean started.

"You both should sleep. I will watch over Sam. If he wakes I'll be able to control him if he…what is it you say? If he freaks?" Castiel said.

"I can't leave him."

"Then we'll take him upstairs to the spare room and you can sleep in the other bed," Bobby suggested.

"Don't think the both of us could lift him right now, Bobby."

Castiel moved across the room and easily lifted Sam from the sofa, cradling the sleeping young man to his chest. He glanced at Dean and Bobby before heading for the stairs. The two hunters followed and soon the angel had Sam situated on one bed. He took a seat on a chair near the door and watched as Dean pulled a blanket over his brother before collapsing on his own bed in a heap. It took only moments before Dean's soft snores filled the room. Castiel glanced up at Bobby as the older hunter stood in the doorway gazing at the brothers.

"I'll keep an eye on them Bobby. Go get some sleep," Castiel said softly.

"Yeah…come get me if anything happens," Bobby replied.

The angel nodded and watched Bobby turn and head across the hall to his room. Castiel settled in for the long night, actually morning, of watching over his charges. His gaze settled on the youngest Winchester and he was filled with amazement at what the young man had accomplished. Forty years in hell suffering untold tortures all for the sake of mankind. The angel knew it was his brother whom he held on for. These boys were a different breed. They were made from something more than most others. They were what the world needed. Warriors against evil, united by blood and destiny.

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Dean awoke hours later, feeling better than he had in months. He had slept nightmare free and he wondered if the angel whom still watched over he and Sam had something to do with that. Castiel smiled knowingly when Dean met his gaze and Dean nodded before turning his attention to Sam. Sam was still in deep sleep, but had moved from his back and was now curled on his side with one hand cradled under his cheek. Dean was amazed at how young and innocent his kid brother appeared in sleep, even after everything he had been through. It made Dean's heart ache as he looked upon him. It brought back so many memories and he smiled as he envisioned a five year old Sam sleeping, long lashes brushing flushed cheeks. Dean's eyes fell to the floor and he noticed Sam's shoes and socks had been removed and were neatly setting on the floor at the foot of his bed.

Dean smiled slightly, silently thanking Castiel for picking up where his exhausted mind and body had left off. He hadn't even thought of removing Sam's shoes when they laid him on the bed, his own sluggish mind not having been able to think past getting Sam to bed before allowing himself to tumble into his own bed and get some much needed slumber. Dean swung his legs over the edge of his bed and noticed then that his own shoes and socks had been removed. He stood and took the two steps to Sam's bed and perched himself on the edge.

Dean's hand automatically reached for Sam's forehead, his fingers searching for any elevation in temperature. The younger man's head was cool and dry and Dean breathed a quick sigh of relief. He pulled his hand away and continued to sit and watch Sam sleep, relishing in the soft sounds that he made. For so long, he had been perfectly still and silent so to see the minute twitches and hear the breaths whisper from between his lips was heaven to Dean. Sam was alive. He had survived the torture and had come back, demon blood gone. Now if Dean could only be certain his mind remained intact.

Dean shook his head knowing full well how messed up his little brother was going to be. The things that had happened to him at the hands of Alastair. Nobody could get through that emotionally intact. And Dean didn't even know what had been done after the visions had stopped. One thing was for certain though. The demon had used the people Sam loved the most as part of its torture. Dean shuddered as he wondered what Alastair had done to Sam while wearing John's face. His mind wandered to the last vision he had witnessed, but this time it was John who did those ungodly things to the brother he loved so dearly. Dean barely had time to drop to his knees and grab the wastepaper basket before the meager contents of his stomach came spilling out over his dry lips.

Dean continued to heave as the image of his father abusing Sam refused to leave his tormented mind. Suddenly, a soft touch to his shoulder ended the vile vision and Dean's retching ceased. He dropped to his butt on the floor and he pulled in large gulps of air. He lifted a shaky hand up and wiped the back over his mouth. He prayed that it was just his overactive imagination, but realized with thick dread that he nor Sam could ever be that lucky. Dean glanced up at the concerned face of his angel protector. Castiel smiled slightly as he removed his hand from Dean's shoulder.

"Sam will heal, Dean. It will take time, but with your support, he will heal," Castiel said softly as he helped the stricken hunter from the floor and back to his bed..

Dean sat heavily on the edge of his bed and his gaze soon fell back onto his brother. Without removing his eyes from Sam's face, he began to speak in a weak, fear filled voice.

"Do you know what Alastair did to Sam? What he did wearing…wearing Dad's face?"

"When I touched Sam, I saw everything that was done to him," Castiel answered sadly.

"Did Alastair…did he…uh…did he rape Sam using my father's face?" Dean asked, scared to death to know the truth.

"Dean…it is not my place to tell you what you want to know. Sam will tell you when he is ready. Only he can decide what and when he tells you. Please don't torture yourself. It's done and over with and you need to be strong if you're going to help Sam," the angel answered, frowning at the despair he saw on Dean's face.

"That pretty much gives me my answer. Oh God…how am I going to get him through that?" Dean cried, silent tears trailing down his cheeks.

"Be strong for him. Don't judge…"

"What!? Don't judge? Do you honestly think I would judge Sammy for what happened to him? That I would somehow blame him? You're crazy if you think that Cas!" Dean fumed.

"I didn't say that Dean. Sometimes though, when you're angry or upset, you say things that could be taken in the wrong way. Or even your anger itself could be misconstrued by Sam's traumatized mind. He could take it as you being angry at him. Just…choose your words very carefully and keep your temper in check."

"Yeah…I guess you're right. He needs the toned down, nurturing Dean. So…I need to ignore every urge that I'm having to rip something apart with my bare hands. Well crap…I can see many a chick flick moment on the horizon," Dean said with a small chuckle.

The sudden aroma of freshly brewed coffee and sizzling bacon filled the room and Dean's stomach grumbled just as the hunter's mouth began to water. He hoped Bobby would bring him a plate soon because he was suddenly aware of how hungry he was. He turned his eyes to the door, hoping to see Bobby come through it, tray in hand. When the opening remained empty, he frowned with disappointment.

"Go eat Dean. You have to be starving," Castiel said.

"Can't leave Sam. I'll just wait for Bobby," Dean answered.

"I'll watch over Sam. He'll probably be out for at least a few more hours," the angel offered.

Dean looked from Sam to the angel and back again. "I don't know Cas. I don't feel right leaving, even if it is just downstairs."

"Dean, you need a break. I'll be here. I won't let anything happen to Sam. I promise."

Dean kept his eyes on Sam for a moment then nodded slightly. "Yeah…okay, but not for very long. You holler if he starts to wake up," he instructed.

"I will. Now go. Sam'll be fine."

Dean stood and stepped to Sam's bed. He reached down and touched Sam's forehead again before smiling softly and leaving the room. He knew Sam was in good hands, so with that thought in mind, he descended the stairs and moved toward the kitchen and the wonderful smells that wafted from it.

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Dean entered the kitchen and smiled warmly at the sight of Bobby standing over the stove, spatula in hand. His mind wandered to many a morning of coming in to the same sight. As gruff and indifferent as Bobby wished to appear, he could never cover how he truly felt about the Winchesters. Dean would never call him on it though. He was happy to let Bobby think he was tough and he kept the warm feeling that the sight of Bobby invoked in him to himself. Dean moved to the coffee maker and grabbed a mug from the counter then filled the mug to the rim. Bobby turned at the noise and motioned for Dean to sit. Dean complied and took a seat at the table.

"Breakfast's almost ready. Hope you're hungry," Bobby said, turning back to the stove.

"Starving actually," Dean replied.

"How's Sam?" Bobby asked as he moved eggs from the skillet to a plate.

"Still sleeping. He's out for the count," Dean answered.

"It's no wonder. I'm actually surprised to see you down here. I thought you'd be glued to the kid," Bobby said.

The man set the plate in front of Dean then opened the oven and pulled out a sheet of biscuits and a plate of bacon. He set them on the table and returned to the oven to remove a dish filled with hashbrowns. He grabbed his own plate of eggs from the counter and sat across from Dean. Dean poured himself and Bobby each a glass of orange juice then started to fill his plate with the other offerings Bobby had prepared.

"So…what are you doing down here? You ain't afraid of Sam waking up and seeing you are you?" Bobby queried.

"No…well…yeah, a little. Actually Cas sent me down. Said I needed to eat. He's watching Sammy for me," Dean answered, pausing in his food preparation while his eyes gazed up worriedly at the ceiling.

"Sam'll be fine with Castiel, Dean. He's right, you need to eat," Bobby said as he filled his own plate.

"I'm eating…I'm eating…" Dean mumbled as he shoved a forkful of potatoes into his mouth.

The hunters ate in silence, both men's thoughts clearly on the young man who slept above them. Once their plates were cleaned, they both rose and cleared the table then moved to the sink. Bobby dried the dishes as Dean handed them to him and the men discussed anything that didn't have to do with Sam and his time in hell. Dean had just finished washing the last plate and was handing it to Bobby when a terrified scream tore through the house, followed by a loud crash. Dean dropped the plate, the dish shattering in the sink as he whipped his head toward the livingroom where the stairs leading upstairs were.

"Sammy!" he cried as he sped out of the kitchen, Bobby hot on his heels.

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**Um, really how long did you think I could go without leaving a cliffy? This is me we're talking about! LOL Please review!**

**Cindy.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay, you've suffered long enough with the last cliffy so here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy. You may need tissues.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean burst through the open doorway of he and Sam's room and pulled up short at the sight that met him. Bobby stopped beside him, eyes wide with concern. Sam sat cowering on the floor between the beds, the lamp from the bedside table shattered beneath him. Castiel stood a few feet away from him, his steady voice trying to reassure the terrified man that all was well. Dean stood transfixed, unable to move at seeing the absolute terror in his brother's eyes. The sight of blood on the shattered pieces of lamp, on the floor, and on his brother broke the older man out of his stupor and he moved fluidly across the floor, his hands held out before him in a placating manner.

"Sammy…you need to calm down kiddo. We're not gonna hurt you. Please Sammy," Dean pled in a calm voice that belayed how he truly was feeling.

Sam's eyes shot from Castiel to Dean and they widened even further. He let out a strangled sob and backed up until his back hit the bedside table. His hand scrambled along the floor and Dean winced as he saw small pieces of glass pierce Sam's fingers. Sam's hand shot up and he held a large, sharp piece of glass out before him, brandishing it like a weapon.

"Stay back! You're not him!" Sam screamed in anguish.

"I am, Sammy. I'm Dean…you're home. You're not in hell anymore…"

"You're lying! You said I had twenty years left!"

"No Sammy…that was Alastair. He lied. You made it…you made it back."

"No, no, no…you're not my Dean! Please…leave me alone…"

"Sammy…think about it. You're not tied to that table…you're not naked…you're not being tortured anymore."

"This IS torture! Showing me what I can't have…wearing my brother's face! I'd rather be cut…burned…anything but this…"

"Sam…this is real. You're home. I'm really Dean. Please…you're hurt…bleeding. Let me help you," Dean pled as he inched closer to his stricken brother.

Dean sensed Castiel moving slightly away and Bobby moving in closer behind him, but he kept his eyes firmly on Sam. Before either man or the angel could comprehend what happened, Sam had sprung up from the floor and scrambled on top of the table, his left side and back pressing dangerously against the glass of the large window. Dean sucked in a startled breath as he imagined the glass breaking and his baby brother tumbling out into thin air, dropping from the second story window to the hard, unforgiving ground below. He stopped his forward motion instantly.

"Sammy…come down from there. You're gonna fall. Please Sam…please," the terrified hunter begged as he heard the glass creak from Sam's weight.

"Stay away…leave me alone! You're not my brother…" Sam cried, pressing even further against the pane of glass.

"Sam…look at my eyes. Alastair may be able to wear my face, but he can't copy my eyes. Come on little brother…look at my eyes…please…"

Sam looked up and met Dean's panicked eyes and his own eyes went wide in wonder. His body seemed to relax just slightly and the shard of glass he held fell from his hand to the floor below.

"Dean?" he whispered so softly that the other occupants of the room barely heard him.

"Yeah Sammy…it's me…" Dean answered, tears trailing down from his relieved eyes.

Suddenly, what Dean had feared happened and the glass that supported Sam gave way and the young man tumbled backward, letting out a startled cry as he started the downward motion.

"Sammy!" Dean screamed as he lunged forward.

Dean's fingers somehow found the cuff of Sam's shirtsleeve and he held on with all of his strength, praying that the material would hold. Sam's body slammed against the side of the house, his feet scrambling for some sort of foothold. He looked up into his brother's face and reached his free hand up, trying to grab Dean's outstretched hand. Bobby's face loomed behind Dean as he held the hunter around his torso. His face turned beet read at the strain of holding both brothers weight.

After several terrifying moments, Dean's hand finally grasped Sam's and he held tight as he let go of Sam's sleeve and grasped his other hand in a vice grip.

"Pull Bobby! Pull…" Dean cried as he leaned back into the older man.

Bobby pulled with all his might and once there was enough room, Castiel leaned out the window and grabbed the waistband of Sam's jeans and together the three of them pulled Sam up and through the window. Bobby and Dean fell back onto the floor, both gasping as Sam's weight fell on top of them. Dean wrapped his arms around his brother's shoulders and carefully rolled him off onto the floor beside him. He scrambled to his knees and immediately began to check the younger man over. Sam appeared to be unconscious and Dean began to panic. He cupped Sam's face, his thumbs rubbing softly over flushed cheeks.

Sam's eyes fluttered open and he started slightly when he saw Dean leaning over him. His eyes flicked behind Dean as Bobby appeared over the older brother's shoulder before moving back to Dean's face.

"Hey Sammy…you okay?" Dean asked softly as he continued to hold Sam's face in his hands.

Sam reached up a trembling hand and brushed his fingers shakily over Dean's cheek. Tears spilled from his hazel eyes and quiet sobs shook his body.

"Dean? It's…it's really you?" his soft voice queried as his fingers remained on Dean's cheek.

"Yeah…it's really me. God Sammy…you scared the crap out of me," Dean answered, his heart finally beginning to slow it's frantic beat.

"I…I made it? I'm back?" Sam questioned, his voice filled with wonder.

Dean nodded and smiled warmly. "You did it Sam. You made it."

Sam stared up at his brother, unable to speak. He pulled his hand away and that was when he saw the blood that oozed from several cuts on his palm. He turned his hand and stared at the blood, his eyes glazing over at the sight. Dean saw the blood too and immediately took Sam's hand to examine it.

"Shit!" Bobby exclaimed from behind Dean when he saw the damage.

"Here Sammy. Let's get you back on your bed so I can check you out better," Dean said, becoming concerned when his brother didn't move, his eyes blankly staring ahead. "Sammy?"

Dean's concerned voice broke through Sam's daze and he blinked up at his brother. "Wh…what?" he asked softly.

"We need to get you up and out of all this glass. Can you stand?" Dean asked as he found his feet and pushed up from the floor.

"Yeah…I-I think so," Sam replied, rolling onto his side as he began to push himself up.

Two strong sets of hands curled around his arms and Dean and Bobby carefully pulled him up from the floor. Sam hissed as pain shot through his shoulder and Dean immediately became alarmed.

"What's wrong Sam? Are you hurt somewhere other than the cuts?" he queried with concern.

"M-my shoulder. I think I hurt my shoulder when I fell," Sam answered, his eyes gazing longingly at his brother's face.

Dean's hands immediately went to work prodding Sam's shoulder while at the same time, Bobby examined the young hunter's hands and feet. Dean pulled back and smiled reassuringly.

"I think you just pulled a muscle or something Sam. We'll get some ice on it," Dean said.

"'k Dean," Sam whispered softly.

"He's pretty cut up. Got some glass imbedded in both palms and both feet," Bobby said as he rose from his knees and headed toward the door. "I'll be right back with the first aid kit."

Dean nodded before his eyes found Castiel standing at the foot of Sam's bed. "Thanks Cas. I don't know what I would've done if he had fallen," he said softly.

Castiel smiled slightly and moved across the room to the chair he had sat in as he watched over the brothers. Bobby entered the room a few minutes later and he and Dean began the painstaking task of removing every sliver of glass from Sam's hands and feet. Sam barely moved throughout the ordeal, his eyes staring in wonder as his brother and friend worked on him. Finally, all of the glass was removed and the cuts were cleaned and bandaged.

Dean stood and walked to the corner of the room. He retrieved Sam's duffel bag and brought it to the bed. He rummaged through it and pulled out a pair of sleep pants and set them next to Sam on the bed. He reached up and began to gently pull the button down and tee shirt from Sam's body. Sam lifted his arms, wincing as his shoulder complained from the movement.

"Let's get those jeans off kiddo and get you more comfy okay?" Dean said softly.

Sam looked at him and nodded. He stood, gingerly putting weight on his injured feet. Bobby stood and cleared his throat nervously.

"Uh…I'll leave you two to that. Are you hungry Sam?" the older man questioned as he looked into wide, hazel eyes.

"Um…I don't know. It's been so long. I-I…maybe I'm a little hungry," Sam answered softly.

"Well, okay then. I'll go fix you up something light. Maybe some toast and fruit? Coffee too?" Bobby said.

"That…that sounds good Bobby. Thanks," Sam whispered.

Bobby nodded and started to walk away, but he suddenly turned and pulled Sam into a strong, but gentle embrace. Sam's eyes widened and he slowly, tentatively wrapped his arms around the man who had become his surrogate father.

"Welcome back Sam. I…uh…just, welcome back," Bobby said as he pulled away. "Don't you ever do anything like that again. Near broke my heart kiddo."

"'m sorry Bobby…had to do it though," Sam whispered, his eyes dropping to the floor.

"Hey…don't be sorry. Just don't do it again, ya hear?" Bobby said, smiling when Sam sheepishly met his eyes.

"Okay Bobby. I won't…"

Bobby nodded then turned and walked from the room. Dean nudged Sam's arm and the younger brother turned his attention to the older man. Dean held the sleep pants in his hands and Sam took the hint. He slowly removed his jeans, careful of his new injuries. Once he had the sleep pants on, Dean helped him into bed. Sam sat with his back against the headboard and watched as Dean fussed with the blankets and the pillows. A small smiled ghosted over Sam's lips, but soon fell away. He felt a surge of panic when Dean headed away from him and toward the door.

"Dean? Wh-where are you going?" he asked in a small, scared voice.

Dean turned at the fear he heard and smiled reassuringly. "I'm just going to get some ice for your shoulder Sammy. I'll be right back," Dean said, his heart breaking at the lost look in Sam's eyes.

"Oh…uh…okay…'m sorry," Sam whispered.

Dean sighed and moved back towards his brother. He sat on the edge of Sam's bed and reached out to gently grasp the younger man's forearm. "Hey, why don't we just wait for Bobby to bring your breakfast then he can get that ice. Does that sound okay?"

Sam peered at Dean through long fringes of chocolate hair and he shuffled nervously on the bed. "I'm sorry Dean…I'm being a pain…" he started with embarrassment.

"Hey…no need to be sorry Sam. I understand…really," Dean said as he patted Sam's arm.

"Thanks, Dean."

"No problem kiddo. To tell you the truth, I kind of don't want to let you out of my sight right now anyway. So…uh…if you want to talk…well…I'm here Sammy," Dean offered nervously.

"I don't think I can. Not yet anyway. Maybe never," Sam whispered.

"Sam…look, I know it's hard, but I can help. I want to help you. After what I saw…"

"Wait! You saw? Alastair wasn't lying?" Sam asked, his shocked eyes staring at Dean.

"Uh…not all of it Sam. The…the visions stopped after a while."

"Oh God…Dean…I…" Sam cried, his body beginning to tremble.

Dean reached for Sam's shoulder, pulling the younger man toward him when he got a firm grasp. "Hey…it's okay. I can help. Knowing what I'm dealing with…I…well, I can help Sammy."

Sam collapsed into Dean's embrace as sobs wracked his tired body. Dean whispered softly as he rubbed the distraught man's back, his body rocking gently back and forth. Sam's sobs subsided and turned into short hiccups and he rested his cheek on Dean's shoulder, his face nestled in the crook of his brother's neck.

"I didn't want you to see Dean. I didn't want you to see what he did to me," Sam's soft voice whispered.

"Sam…it's okay. We'll get through it…together. Okay?" Dean said as he pulled back, pushing Sam away slightly so he could see his face.

Sam's wet eyes met Dean's and the older brother was bowled over by the misery and anguish he saw in them. He smiled warmly and squeezed Sam's arm gently. Sam nodded then his eyes moved over Dean's shoulder to the door. Dean turned to see Bobby enter the room, tray in hand. Bobby looked at the brothers and smiled nervously as he set the tray on the bedside table.

"I got ya toast and jelly and some fresh melon and strawberries. There's coffee with cream and sugar. Is there anything else you need?" Bobby queried.

"Uh…n-no Bobby. Thanks…it looks great," Sam said softly.

"Could you bring an icepack Bobby? I need it for Sam's shoulder," Dean said as he looked up at the older man.

"You bet. I'll be back in a jiffy," Bobby answered.

The hunter left the room and Dean followed him with his eyes. It was then that he noticed that Castiel was no longer perched on the chair near the door. He shrugged his shoulders and turned back to Sam. Sam tentatively reached out and took a piece of toast from the tray. He took a small bite, keenly aware of his brother's gaze upon him. He took a few more bites then set the toast back on the tray before picking up a large strawberry. Dean stood and moved to his own bed. He sat on the edge and tried not to watch Sam as he ate. He didn't want to appear too overprotective, but wanted Sam to know he was there for him at the same time. He stared down at his hands and swallowed as a lump formed in his throat.

Dean felt tears rise in his green eyes and he briskly blinked them away. He had his Sammy back. Maybe he wasn't whole, but they'd get him there. He and Bobby would make sure Sam had everything he needed to get through this. Dean had no doubt that Sam would get through it. If he was strong enough to hold on over forty years of mindnumbing torture, then he was certainly strong enough to overcome the aftermath. Sam's soft voice brought Dean out of his musings and he looked up to his brother's expectant, hazel eyes.

"Huh? I'm sorry Sammy…I didn't hear you," Dean said with embarrassment.

"N-nevermind…it's stupid. I'm just…" Sam said softly, his eyes dropping to his lap.

"No Sam. Don't say that. What did you say?"

"Do…do you think Dad…uh…do you think he was…maybe Dad…I'm sorry Dean," Sam cried softly, his words tripping over each other as his emotions got the better of him.

Dean moved back to Sam's bed and touched his hand. Sam's eyes lifted and they looked so sad and lost, it stole Dean's breath away.

"What is it Sammy? What about Dad?" he prodded gently.

Sam swallowed and fell back against the headboard. His fingers fiddled nervously with the edge of his blanket.

"Do you think Dad ever wished I'd never been born? Do you think that he blamed me for Mom?" Sam asked softly, fearfully.

"What? No way Sammy. Why would you ask that? Dad loved you so much," Dean replied with confusion.

"It's just…I don't know Dean. Do you ever wonder why he treated me so differently than he did you? Why he was more…distant?"

"Sam…where is this coming from? Why would you think that?" Dean queried, a knot forming in his stomach.

"He…he uh…um…he said…" Sam stammered nervously.

"What Sam? What did Dad say?"

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**So, not quite an evil cliffy. More like a mini-cliffy. I hope you enjoyed that chapter. As always, reviews are love.**

**Cindy.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Udate time! Hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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"What Sam? What did Dad say?"

Sam's fingers continued to fiddle with the blanket that was draped over him. Fresh tears spilled from his eyes and he took a deep breath then lifted his eyes to his brother's face.

"Sam?" Dean queried, fearful of what he would hear.

Sam took another deep breath and softly began to speak.

_Sam's eyes flew open wide, his breathing coming in short, spastic pants. Pain blossomed across his chest as a knife blade was drawn slowly and deliberately from right to left just below his collarbones. He was stretched out tight on the hated table and his head rolled away from where his tormentor stood. A voice reached his ears and Sam gasped when it wasn't the voice he had expected to hear. He rolled his head back to the left and tears instantly began to fall when he saw who was cutting him._

_"D-Dad?" Sam whispered brokenly. "W-Why?"_

_John dragged the knife once more across Sam's chest, this time just below the first cut, slicing deeper then before and cutting at an angle so he sliced up to the previous cut, thus removing the flesh and muscle as he went. He smiled down at the restrained young man, a small chuckle rumbling deep in his throat._

_"You want to know something Sammy?" John asked, his eyes filled with hate and disgust. "The day I found out that your mother was pregnant with you was the day I knew my life had changed forever. That the happy life I knew was over."_

_Sam blinked up at the man, his heart nearly exploding with grief and sorrow at the hate he saw in the dark, shadowed eyes. His tears continued as John began to speak again._

_"I'd come home from another twelve hour day at the shop and Mary was so excited. She told me that she was pregnant and I just lost it," John said, the blade slicing a third time across Sam's chest, taking another strip of flesh and musle away._

_"I asked her how she could have done that to me. Why she had to ruin our perfect life. We were living paycheck to paycheck, but we were happy. I demanded that she get an abortion, but she refused. She said we'd figure it all out. I knew the minute she told me that the baby she carried was wrong somehow. I don't know how I knew, but I did. I knew she carried a freak inside of her and I was right."_

_Sam's eyes widened at the revelation. He no longer felt the pain from the knife on his skin, the pain in his heart was so much worse. "No…you're not my dad. H-He loved me…"_

_"I hated you!" John screamed as he dug the knife in deeper. "You were a mistake! Dean was my perfect son. The only son I needed and wanted. Your conception ruined our family!"_

_"N-No…it wasn't my fault…" Sam cried softly._

_"It was your fault Sam! Everything was your fault! I lost my beautiful Mary because of you. Dean lost his mother and any chance for a normal, happy life! That's all you do Sam. You suck the life from everybody around you. Your mother, me…Jessica. We're all dead because you were born. If your mother had listened, we'd all still be alive…happy. If she had ended that vile pregnancy…"_

_"But…you told Dean to…you told him to watch out for me. To protect me."_

_"Because I thought it was what your mother wanted Sam."_

_Sam cried out as the knife moved over his ribs, slicing straight to the bone. His head swam with the pain, but it wouldn't end. He willed himself to lose consciousness, but still the pain assaulted him. The pain in his flesh and the pain in his heart._

_"W-Why did y-you fight me when I wanted to go to Stanford?" Sam gasped, his vision beginning to darken._

_"I wanted you to go, that's why I told you not to. I knew if I was against it, you'd do it just for spite. I prayed that with you unprotected, you would fall victim to some predator, human or not, but you couldn't even do that right. No, it was your girlfriend who died instead. You left her alone knowing what would happen. You dreamt about it for days and still you left like the coward you are."_

_"N-No…you're wrong…my dad loved me. He d-did…"_

_"You were a mistake. An abomination. It's only a matter of time before you kill Dean too."_

_"No!!"_

Dean sat on the edge of Sam's bed, speechless at his brother's revelation. He heard a mumbled curse from behind him and turned to see Bobby standing in the doorway, the icepack in his hand. It was obvious from the look on the older man's face that he had heard what Sam had said and that he was well and truly pissed. The two men's eyes met and Bobby nodded as he stepped up and handed the icepack to Dean. He moved closer to Sam and gently patted his shoulder. Sam flinched involuntarily, but then he looked up apologetically, his face a picture of misery.

Bobby smiled warmly before turning and leaving the boys to talk. Once the man was gone, Dean turned his attention back to Sam. His brother's chin rested on his chest and his shoulders shook as he cried.

"Sammy," Dean whispered, tapping Sam gently on the knee. "Look at me, please."

Sam looked up slowly and brought his hand up to brush the tears from his cheeks. When Dean was sure he had his brother's attention, he continued.

"It wasn't Dad…you know that right?" Dean queried softly.

"I…I guess…I don't know. I'm just so confused Dean. It looked so much like him and sounded so much like him…I just…" Sam started.

"What Sam?" Dean asked.

"Dean…Dad was…he was never the same with me, you know? He didn't look at me the same way he looked at you. It's like I could never please him…"

"Sam…"

"No Dean…you know its true. You were there. There were times when…when…" Sam stammered, his eyes dropping.

"Sam…Dad loved you. That was not Dad. That was Alastair. Demons lie and you know that," Dean said, his hand gathering Sam's hand into his.

"But, sometimes they don't…not if the truth hurts more," Sam whispered.

"Sam…Dad loved you so much. You maybe couldn't see it, but I could. He was so proud of you…"

"Then why didn't he tell me Dean? Why couldn't he just show me just a little bit of that? All I ever saw was his disappointment."

"I don't know Sammy. It was just his way."

"Not with you Dean."

"Sam…"

"I'm sorry. You deserved his praise. Dean…you were the son he wanted…needed. Maybe I was selfish. I know I'm a freak, just like he said. An abomination. I can see why he didn't want me…"

"God damnit Sam! That wasn't Dad! Dad loved you! He wanted you!" Dean shouted, his eyes widening when he saw the sudden look of fear on his brother's face.

"'m sorry…" Sam whispered as he scooted down on the bed and turned on his side, his back to Dean.

Dean brushed his hand through his hair, mentally cursing himself for his outburst, Castiel's words running through his head.

"Sammy…I'm sorry. Please…look at me…please?" he pled.

Sam slowly turned onto his back and his sad eyes stared up at his brother.

"Sam…nothing that Alastair said or did while wearing Dad's face was the truth or what Dad would have done. He loved you more than anything. He never would have asked Mom to have an abortion. Never," Dean said, his eyes pleading with Sam to believe him.

"It wasn't just Dad…" Sam said softly.

"What? What do you mean Sam?" Dean asked, a knot forming in his stomach.

"Mom…uh…she was there. A-After Dad left…"

"Oh Sammy…it wasn't her."

Sam continued as if he hadn't heard Dean, his eyes staring off as if he was seeing something other than the room he was in. "She said she should have listened to Dad. She said she could feel the evil growing in her, but she couldn't do anything about it. She said…she said I killed her…"

"Sam…you can't possibly know how much she loved you…you were too little, but I know. I saw how she glowed when she held you. She couldn't stop looking at you…touching your little feet, kissing your wiggly toes. She would just beam when you'd wrap your tiny hand around her finger. Dad too…" Dean insisted, rage burning through his veins at the demon who dared to put these horrible thoughts into his brother's head.

"But I did kill her Dean. She'd be alive if…"

"Don't Sam. She died because of something she did…not you. Look, I never wanted to believe there was anything but light and goodness with Mom, but you received the demon blood because of her."

"Dean…it was for Dad…"

"I know that Sammy, but she brought Azazel to your nursery that night…"

"No…don't say that Dean. It wasn't her fault," Sam cried, moving to sit up, but hissing as he grabbed his shoulder.

Dean pushed Sam back down and placed the icepack on his shoulder.

"Well, it wasn't yours either Sam."

"Dean…do you really believe Alastair was lying?"

"Without a doubt Sammy. You are wanted and you are loved. By all of us…"

Sam smiled sadly then opened his mouth and yawned. Dean reached out to pull the blankets up when he noticed his brother's eyelids begin to droop.

"Get some sleep kiddo. You're beat," Dean instructed softly.

"Dean?" Sam asked softly.

"Yeah?"

"Are…are you going to be here when I w-wake up?"

"Of course Sammy. I'm not going anywhere kiddo."

"Thanks Dean," Sam said, his eyes closing and his breath evening out.

Dean slumped his shoulders as the words that were said to Sam slammed through his mind. He wasn't sure if he could leave Alastair for Sam to destroy, his fury was so encompassing. The demon was going to pay for what he'd done to Sam. For what he'd done to him.

Dean stood and went to the chair by the door and pulled it over next to Sam's bed. He sat on the chair and settled in. He was not going anywhere that his brother wasn't. He gazed upon the peacefully sleeping man on the bed, prepared for the nightmares that he was sure would come. When they did, he would be there. Sam would not have to be alone in this. He would never have to be alone again.

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**Well, that was just wrong. Sick and wrong. Alastair must die! Please review.**

**Cindy**


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, here is the next chapter. I have a chapter count now. It looks like a total of 27 chapters for this story. I hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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"You're pathetic, you know that!?"

"I-I threw everything I had at him! What else could I have done?"

"He's free you imbecile! Free of everything!"

"But, isn't that good? You wanted him dead so he couldn't challenge you. This is just as good. He's a weak human now…"

The sound of the slap resonates through the caverns and the kneeling demon hisses in pain.

"I wanted him as my slave! If he gave in, I controlled him. I'd have my general and my slave! Now…I have nothing and that piece of human crap Sam Winchester is alive and well!"

"What do you want from me? Anything…anything to make it up to you."

"I want Sam Winchester's head on a plate. Isn't that what he said he wished for? My head on a plate?"

"They'll be expecting an attack. How will I get close enough?"

"What? Are you scared? He's just human now. No powers…nothing."

"I'm not scared…it's just…"

The small hand shot out and was wrapped around the other's throat so quickly that if you didn't already know better, you'd swear it had been there all along. Two faces pulled together until their noses were almost touching and a once deceptively pleasant voice turned ugly and hissed.

"I want Sam Winchester's head and if I don't get it, you'll be on the rack for all of eternity…Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-Yes…loud and c-clear. I'll bring you his head and any other part you desire…"

"As lovely as that sounds…his head will do nicely…"

The hand let go and Alastair dropped to the hot, rocky floor, his hands reaching up to finger his abused neck. He scrambled to his feet and stumbled away, Lilith's maniacal laugh following him as he hurried to complete his task.

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Dean watched, the corners of his mouth drawn down into a slight frown at the whimpers coming from his thrashing brother. He had tried to wake Sam when the nightmare first began, but the younger man remained deep in sleep, trapped once more, presumably under the blade of Alastair. At least Dean hoped it was the blade and not something else. Dean shuddered at that thought and wondered for the millionth time how Sam had held on through that particular torture. If that had been done to him when he had been in the pit, it sure as hell wouldn't have taken them thirty years to get him off that table. At least that's what he thought would have happened. Dean marveled at how much stronger Sam was than him. If he only knew where Sam got his strength, he wouldn't be so hard on himself.

Dean looked up when Bobby rushed into the room, a basin of cold water and a washcloth in his hands. He set the basin on the side table and dipped the washcloth in the water as Dean rubbed his hand softly up and down Sam's arm, his strong voice imploring his brother to wake up. Bobby wrung the washcloth out and placed it on Sam's sweaty brow, hoping the cold, wet material would bring the young man around. Sam's eyelids scrunched up, but they didn't open. Dean looked up with panicked eyes at the older man, but saw nothing but the same panic reflected back at him. He turned back to Sam and moved from the chair he occupied to the edge of Sam's bed. He reached up and cupped Sam's hot cheek, patting it lightly at first, but when that produced no results, he did it a little harder.

"Sammy…come on kid, you gotta snap out of it. Wake up Sam…please…wake up," Dean pled, his heart hammering furiously in his chest.

Sam continued to whimper and thrash about, his hands clawing the air, his body arching off the bed at times. Suddenly, his eyes flew open wide and he bolted up, gasping as he attempted to draw in air. His body trembled uncontrollably and beads of sweat broke out over his exposed flesh.

"OhGodOhGodOhGod…stop…please…" he cried softly.

Dean grabbed his shoulders and squeezed gently, relaxing ever so slightly when Sam's soft eyes focused on his face. Dean smiled warmly and lifted one hand to cup the back of Sam's neck.

"Hey…you okay Sam? You need to slow your breathing dude or you're gonna pass out," he said worriedly.

Sam's mouth gaped open and Dean would have chuckled if he weren't so damned freaked out. His thumb caressed against Sam's scalp and slowly but surely the younger brother began to calm. Once Sam's breathing returned to somewhat normal, Dean helped him to lie down again. Dean picked up the washcloth that had dropped to Sam's lap and handed it to Bobby, who dipped it in the water again. He wrung it out and handed it back to Dean before nodding and leaving the room.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Dean queried as he started to run the cool cloth over Sam's heated, sweaty skin.

Sam closed his eyes and shook his head, the images from his nightmare finally starting to disappear from his mind. He opened his eyes again and stared up as Dean wet the cloth again before running it over his bare arms.

"Sam…I know it's hard, but you have to talk about it eventually," Dean said softly.

"I-I know I do…just not now okay?" Sam answered, his voice low and hoarse.

"Yeah…sure kiddo," Dean said with a slight frown.

Sam gazed up and smiled sadly. 'God, I love him,' he thought suddenly as he dropped his eyes.

"What is it Sam? What's wrong?" Dean queried with concern.

Sam looked up and smiled. "Nothing Dean. I…I was wondering if…"

"What? Do you need something?"

"I'd really like to go outside. I mean…without dangling out the window," Sam said softly.

Dean did chuckle this time, some of the tension leaving him at Sam's attempt at humor. "Sure Sammy. Maybe we can have lunch out on the porch," he answered brightly.

"I'd like that. Um…maybe I could take a shower first?" Sam asked.

"You don't have to ask Sam. You want to do it now?" Dean said as he stood up from the bed and set the washcloth on the rim of the basin.

"Uh…yeah. C-Could you help me up?" Sam queried, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"Sam…you don't need to be embarrassed. Now, lets get you up," Dean quipped, pulling the blankets down and watching as Sam swung his legs over the edge of the mattress.

Dean helped Sam sit up and supported him as he stood on shaky legs. Together the brothers made it across the room and into the hall. They slowly walked down the hallway to the bathroom and once inside, Dean lowered a weak and panting Sam onto the closed toilet lid. He stood up and glanced at Sam with concern.

"Uh…maybe a bath would be better dude. I don't think you can stand that long and I'm for sure not getting in there with you," Dean said, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

Sam chuckled and Dean's heart leapt as he caught a glimpse of dimples. "Yeah…maybe a good soak will feel better than a shower," Sam replied tiredly.

"Okay, I'll get the water going."

Dean leant over the edge of the tub and turned on the hot water, his fingers held under the stream until the liquid turned hot. He turned the cold water knob until the temperature was just as Sam liked it then stood and went to the cupboard for a clean towel and washcloth. He placed both on the small table next to the tub then turned to Sam.

"Uh…we better get you undressed unless you want to go in in your jammies," he said lightly.

"I think I can handle it Dean. Thanks," Sam said softly as he started to slowly pull his tee shirt up and over his head.

"Okay…I'll just turn around and when you're ready to get in, let me know," Dean mumbled, turning around to afford Sam some privacy.

"I-I think I can get in okay Dean. You don't have to…"

"Uh-uh Sam. I'm not gonna have you falling and cracking your head open. I won't look…I promise."

"Um…okay…" Sam replied.

Dean listened intently as Sam rose from the toilet seat and his brother's soft affirmation brought Dean around and as he kept his gaze on the tub, he took Sam around the waist and helped the weakened young man into the tub. Once Sam was safely seated, Dean grabbed a hand towel from the vanity and folded it then placed it at the end of the tub, holding it in place as he helped Sam lay back, the towel cushioning the younger man's head.

"How's that Sammy? Is the water okay?" Dean asked, ever attuned to his brother's needs.

Sam glanced up, a genuine smile curling his lips and Dean just melted. How long had it been since he'd seen a smile like that? Months? Well before Sam's deal, that's for sure. Well before his deal.

"It's perfect Dean. Thanks," Sam whispered as he relaxed further into the water.

"Great. You just take your time Sam. I'll get you a clean change of clothes," Dean said as he reached over to turn off the taps.

Dean stood up straight and turned toward the door. Sam's soft voice, suddenly timid, sounded and he turned to find wide eyes on him.

"You're gonna be close, right?" Sam queried and Dean could swear the kid was shaking. He smiled and nodded before answering.

"I'll just be a minute getting your clothes and then I'll be right outside the door Sammy. Don't worry…I'm not leaving you kiddo," Dean said, his heart breaking at the fear in Sam's eyes.

Sam continued to stare a moment longer then relaxed back in the tub. He smiled softly and sighed, "Thanks Dean."

"No problem Sam. Enjoy you're bath."

Sam closed his eyes and sank further into the water, his long legs bent as far they could go to allow his shoulders to sink beneath surface. Dean watched for a few moments to make sure he was fine then quietly stepped out of the room. He hurried to the bedroom and pulled a clean pair of boxers and sleep pants from Sam's bag then opened a drawer in the dresser and snagged a clean tee shirt. Another drawer held clean socks and once Dean was satisfied he walked back to the bathroom and slid down the wall, his butt hitting the floor with a soft thud. He leaned his head back against the wall and waited for Sam to call for him when he was finished soaking.

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Sam sat in the old wooden rocking chair on the porch, a light throw draped over his legs. There was a crispness to the air and Dean had insisted on the blanket and the sweatshirt that Sam wore over his tee shirt. Sam had rolled his eyes at Dean's mother hen routine, but smiled inwardly at the warm feeling the attention gave him. He quietly snacked on a plate of cheese and crackers while Bobby busied himself in the kitchen with lunch. Dean sat on the porch swing and tried not to watch as Sam ate. It was so hard to not just sit and stare at his brother after having to see him so still for those four horrible months. He didn't want to make Sam uncomfortable though, so he glanced around at anything just to keep his eyes busy.

"It's okay Dean…you can watch me if you want to," Sam said softly and with a slight chuckle.

Dean turned his gaze to Sam and smiled guiltily, feeling as though he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Not sure what you mean, Sammy."

"Dean, I get it okay? When you first came back, I was the same way. It's fine…actually makes me feel…better."

"I don't want to hover Sam…it's just…"

"I know Dean. Believe me…I know."

Dean was about to speak, but Bobby chose that moment to make his appearance. The older man pushed through the front door, tray in hand and stepped in front of Sam. He set the tray on Sam's lap and the young hunter looked down to a steaming mug of tomato soup and a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Sam smiled up at Bobby and whispered a soft thank you.

"You're welcome Sam. Now…eat up. You need to get your strength up," Bobby replied with a slight smile.

"Hey…where's mine?" Dean queried indignantly as he spied only one mug of soup and one sandwich.

"You got two feet to git you to the kitchen boy. I ain't your servant!" Bobby shot with amusement.

Dean stood up and stared at Sam nervously. He looked from Sam to the door and back again.

"Just go git some grub Dean. I'll watch Sam 'til you get back," Bobby grumbled.

Dean mumbled under his breath as he headed for the door and Sam chuckled lightly until Dean disappeared. Once Dean was out of sight, Bobby immediately noticed the change in the younger Winchester's demeanor. His hand began to tremble and he watched the door like a hawk, his breathing quickening as he began to panic. A light touch to his arm had Sam flinching and he nearly dumped the tray of food off his lap. He looked up with embarrassment to Bobby's concerned face.

"It's okay Sam. He's just inside. He'll only be a few minutes," Bobby said comfortingly.

"Sorry Bobby. Don't know why I get so jumpy when I can't see him," Sam whispered, his voice filled with shame.

"You've been through hell Sam. Literally. You're gonna be a little jumpy. I think you're doing amazingly well, considering."

Sam let out a humorless laugh and shook his head. "I'm a good actor, Bobby. I just…I don't want Dean to worry. He has enough on his plate, he doesn't need his pain in the ass little brother going off the deep end on top of it all."

"Sam…you have to give yourself some time. I got news for ya…Dean's gonna worry. It's who he is. If it involves you…he's gonna worry. Just don't hold stuff in. He's here for you. Hell…I'm here for you too."

"Thanks Bobby. For…shit…for everything."

"Hey…no need to thank me. We're family. You know that kid."

"Yeah. I know Bobby."

Both men looked up when Dean pushed through the doorway, a large bowl of soup in his hands and a ham sandwich hanging out of his mouth. He arched a brow when he saw the two staring at him, chuckling.

"'at?" he managed as he sat on the porch railing and set the bowl down beside him.

"Got enough soup there?" Bobby queried.

Dean pulled the sandwich from his mouth and stared wide eyed and innocently at the older man.

"What? I couldn't find a soup bowl so I had to use a mixing bowl! I ain't gonna use one of those pansy ass mugs like you gave to Sam, that's for sure!"

Sam began to lightly chuckle and lifted his mug to his lips. "I happen to like my pansy ass mug," he quipped before taking a large sip of the steaming soup.

Dean beamed at his brother, the tension of the past days melting away at the sound of Sam's soft laughter. He took a large bite from his sandwich and chewed happily as he watched Sam attack his lunch with gusto.

'Kid's gotta be starving,' he thought to himself as Sam continued to eat.

Bobby shook his head and started for the door. He had just stepped through the doorway into the house when he heard a loud crash and Dean's concerned voice yell his brother's name. He rushed back out onto the porch to find Dean kneeling beside Sam, who was on all fours on the porch floor, gasping for air.

"What the hell happened!?" Bobby cried as he dropped onto Sam's other side.

"I don't know! He just went completely pale and lurched off the chair!" Dean yelled as he hunched down to see Sam's face.

"H-He's coming. Dean…he's coming," Sam managed to pant out between gasps.

"Slow down Sam. Just breathe. Deep breaths," Dean instructed as he rubbed comforting circles over Sam's back.

Sam worked to slow his breathing and Dean glanced up at Bobby, worry darkening his green eyes. Sam made a move to sit back and both older men helped him back into the rocking chair. The throw was covered with soup and the mug lay broken on the porch floor. Sam looked up at Bobby apologetically, but Bobby shushed him before he could speak.

"Don't worry about it Sam. It's no big deal."

Sam nodded and turned his wide, frightened eyes on Dean. "He's coming," he whispered as his body began to tremble.

"Who Sam? Who's coming?" Dean asked fearfully.

Sam's eyes widened even further before he lowered them to his lap. "Alastair. Alastair's coming back for me," he whispered.

Bobby gasped and his eyes immediately swept over the land in front of his house. He sensed Dean pulling Sam up from the chair and moved to help him get the terrified young man into the house. Once they were in and had Sam safely on the sofa, the two older men locked the house down, checking to make sure every opening was protected and every charm was in place. They rushed back to where Sam sat and Dean immediately went into full big brother mode when he found Sam with his arms wrapped tightly around himself, rocking back and forth, tears streaming from his eyes. Dean sat next to his brother and draped his arm around Sam's back.

"Hey…he can't get in Sam. Bobby and I won't let him near you," Dean said, hoping to calm his obviously terrified brother.

Sam glanced up, staring through soft brown fringe as he blinked tears from his eyes. "Why won't he leave me alone Dean? I see him when I'm asleep and now when I'm awake too?" Sam whispered brokenly.

"Sam, how do you know he's coming?" Bobby asked as he sat on the coffee table in front of Sam.

"I…I saw his face and I just knew. But…how? The demon blood is gone. My powers are gone…"

"Uh…about that Sammy…" Dean started.

Sam jerked his gaze back to Dean, his mouth agape, eyes wide once more.

"What Dean?" he asked fearfully.

"Sam…we need to talk."

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**Uh oh. The cat's out of the bag. Wonder how Sam will react to the news that he still has his abilities. Will post more tonight. See you later.**

**Cindy.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay, here is the second chapter for tonight. I hope you're looking foreward to some demon ass kicking! **

**Cindy.**

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Sam stared fearfully at his brother, Bobby's presence forgotten at the moment. He swallowed against the sudden bile that rose in his throat.

"T-Talk about wh-what?" Sam stammered, terrified of what he would hear.

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but the look of fear on Sam's face chased his words away. He dropped his eyes to his nervously tapping fingers as he willed his heart to slow it's racing beat. He looked up again at Sam's small, heartwrenching voice.

"D-Dean? The demon blood is gone isn't it? P-Please tell me its gone. Please tell me I didn't go through all of that for nothing…" the younger man pled, causing his older brother to nearly lose it.

Dean brushed his hand over his face, his trembling hand doing nothing to ease Sam's fear.

"The demon blood is gone Sammy. It's gone…"

"Then what's wrong? Dean…please tell me."

"The demon blood is gone, but…but your powers aren't. Your powers were yours before the demon blood Sammy…"

Sam suddenly felt faint and Dean quickly reached over to grab hold of his arm when his face went stark white. Bobby reached forward too, but Sam felt nothing. Heard nothing. Nothing but his own voice crying over and over. "Nonononono…."

The next thing Sam knew was he was lying on the sofa and the concerned faces of his brother and friend were hovering over him. Dean's lips were moving and he looked panicked, but Sam couldn't hear what he was saying. He squeezed his eyes shut and instantly felt a warm hand gently cup his cheek.

"…'ammy? Come on bro…don't do this to me. Sammy? Please…"

And all of a sudden, Sam could hear. Sam opened his eyes again and Dean sighed with relief.

"Oh…thank God…"

Sam lifted a shaky hand up and grasped Dean's wrist. He stared up at his brother, trying to get his tongue to work, but failing miserably. He took a deep breath and tried again.

"D-Dean? Wh…what hpn'd?" he whispered.

"You passed out Sammy. How do you feel?" Dean answered, his hand never leaving Sam's cheek.

"Um…I…weird. I feel weird."

"Uh…okay, not what I was hoping for…"

"D-Did you say my p-powers aren't gone?"

"Oh…uh…yeah Sammy…they…"

"But, how? If…if the demon blood is gone…how?" Sam whispered, and all Dean could think was how damned fragile his giant brother sounded.

"Sammy…this can wait until you're feeling stronger…"

"No!" Sam cried as he pushed against the hands that suddenly were on him, trying to sit up.

"Sam…stay down…" Bobby instructed, his hand pressing down on Sam's chest.

Sam jerked his eyes to the side as if suddenly aware of the second man's presence. He fought against the hands that held him until Dean and Bobby had no choice but to help him up to a sitting position. They drew the line though when he attempted to swing his legs over the edge of the sofa.

"Sam…"

"Dean! Alastair is coming! He's coming for me and I'm just sitting here!" Sam cried.

"We're not letting him near you Sammy…don't worry…"

"You don't understand! He'll go through you and Bobby to get to me. I can't let that happen!"

"Sam…calm down. We'll deal with it…"

"No! I made that deal to protect you and Bobby from me. I'm not going to let Alastair take you from me now! I have to get out of here…I have to get far away from you…"

"Not gonna happen Sam! You go out there, Alastair will be all over you…"

"Better me than you, Dean…"

"You really think that? The last four months nearly killed me Sam. I'm not losing you again!"

Sam collapsed back, his eyes suddenly wet with tears. "I'm sorry Dean…I just keep hurting you. I can't let anything happen to you…or Bobby."

"Now you listen here you little idjit! You ain't leaving and you ain't sacrificing yourself for us! There's been way too much of that crap already! You keep your ass on that couch and Alastair can't get to you…or us," Bobby ranted, looking quickly at Dean's shocked face before his eyes returned to Sam.

Sam nodded slowly and lowered his eyes to his lap. "'m not an idjit…" he mumbled softly and Dean could almost see his lower lip sticking out dejectedly, just like when he was little.

"You're acting like it Sam. What good would getting yourself killed or taken back to hell do? We'll deal with Alastair…"

"How? We don't have Ruby's knife…we don't have the Colt…we…" and then Sam's eyes flew open wide and he looked from Dean to Bobby as an idea formed.

"What's wrong Sammy? Are you okay?" Dean questioned fearfully.

"I still have my powers. I can mind zap him…I think…I can try…"

"Uh-uh…no way! You can barely stand, Sam. Besides, it didn't work before, in the church attic. We'll deal with him some other way," Dean shot.

"But Dean…"

"No…Dean's right Sam. Besides, we may need your little mind zap thing to kill Lilith…"

"So…I'll kill her too…when we find her…"

"She can't know you still have your powers Sam…" Dean said.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Castiel said that the demons, Lilith included, thought your powers came from Azazel's blood, but they didn't. You always had them. They think you're helpless now. If you use the powers to kill Alastair, Lilith will know and we'll never find her," Dean explained.

Sam sat silent for a moment before he spoke. "So…what do we do? How do we stop Alastair?"

"We trap him…" Bobby said, deep in thought.

"How?" Dean asked.

"He'll come here," Bobby answered, his attention now on the brothers. "We let him in the house, lead him to a devils trap. We keep him…"

"Why keep him? Why not exorcise him?" Dean queried.

"Lilith will come for him if he doesn't show up with proof that I'm dead. We can take them both by surprise. I can kill them both…"

"No way…too dangerous for you…"

"Dean…"

"No Sammy…your head nearly exploded when you took Samhain out. Alastair and Lilith? You'll never survive it."

"Dean…we can end this war…"

"Not at the expense of your life Sam…"

"I'm willing to make that sacrifice Dean."

"Well…I'm not willing to let you."

"Nobody's sacrificing anything. We'll contact Castiel. Maybe he can help figure out a way to use Sam's abilities without it killing him," Bobby interjected.

"What about Alastair? He's close Bobby," Sam asked softly.

"We need to get things set up. We'll get him trapped and then we'll contact Castiel."

"Alastair's stronger than your average demon, Bobby. Ruby's knife, holy water…Sam's powers, nothing fazed him," Dean offered nervously.

"I got a few tricks up my sleeve. I may be old, but I ain't feeble."

"I don't want him near Sam, Bobby. We should get him down to the saferoom…"

"We can't Dean. Alastair won't come if he can't sense Sam."

"Then he doesn't come. I vote on him not coming…"

"No…we gotta do this Dean. I can't stay in that room forever. Better to just get it over with."

"You're still so weak Sam…"

"I'm fine. Let's just do it."

"Sam…"

"We're wasting time. He's gonna be here soon."

Dean looked closely at Sam, just on the fringe of panic until he saw the determination in his eyes. There was fear there still, but determination was winning out. Dean slowly nodded and Bobby immediately went to work. He pulled several ancient books from the piles around the room, murmuring as he went through each, jotting down notes. Dean moved Sam to the diningroom, making sure he was safely seated before he went to help Bobby get everything set up. It didn't take long before the last line of the new devils trap was drawn. A stronger devils trap. Or at least the men hoped it was.

Dean checked on Sam then nodded to Bobby. Bobby reached for the shotgun he kept near the door at the same time Dean pulled another from above the fireplace. Dean stepped in front of Sam and waited. Meanwhile, Bobby went to the front door and with the toe of his boot, he scattered the salt line. He hurried to the diningroom and together the three men waited.

They didn't have to wait long it turned out because just a few minutes later the front door exploded in, causing the three men to jump. Dean rested a hand on Sam's trembling shoulder and squeezed comfortingly. He stepped more squarely in front of Sam when they heard a calm voice echo through the house.

"Little Sammy Winchester…come out, come out wherever you are…"

The men waited, silently willing the demon to come their way.

"Time for us to play Sammy…just like old times. I'll bet you miss my hands on your body, don't you? Or is it your daddy's hands you miss?" the hateful voice called.

Sam flinched and Dean turned hot with fury when he heard his brother whimper.

"Just come this way you bastard!" Dean hissed through clenched teeth.

But Alastair had other plans. Without warning, Dean and Bobby were flung away from Sam, their bodies violently making contact with the walls where they remained pinned and struggling, their eyes wide as Alastair stepped up to Sam, coming in from the other doorway. Sam appeared to be lost in his own world, soft whimpers whispering from his lips.

"You stay the hell away from him you son of a bitch or I'll tear you apart limb from limb!" Dean screamed, flinching as Alastair trailed his fingers down Sam's flushed face.

Alastair glanced Dean's way and smiled coldly. He cupped Sam's chin and lifted his face, turning his attention back to the younger hunter and chuckling at the vacant stare he met. He let loose of Sam's face and strolled up to Dean, his hands grasped behind his back.

"Dean…it's been awhile. We had some fun times, didn't we? Of course, not as much fun as Sammy and me, but then Lilith didn't give me free reign with you," the demon hissed, his tongue running indecently over his lip as he turned and eyed Sam.

"Just leave him alone dickweed. You have no right to him anymore," Dean spat dangerously.

Alastair shook his head as he raised his fingers to tap his lips. "You know…I could take him right now…right here in front of you both. That way you'd get the full on effect, not some muted vision…"

"Don't you touch him…I'm warning you Alastair…"

Alastair continued on as if Dean hadn't spoken, turning as he walked back toward Sam. "I mean…look at him. He isn't even there anymore…like he's checked out or something."

The demon laughed cruelly as he ran his fingers through Sam's hair, delighting in the looks of rage and fear on the restrained hunter's faces. He stepped behind the chair that Sam sat on and ran his hands over Sam's shoulders then down his chest. He nuzzled his cheek in Sam's hair, his eyes glued to Dean's red face. For a moment, Sam's soft whimpers were the only sound in the room until Dean smiled, reining in his fury, his voice calm and deliberate.

"So…how does it feel to be Lilith's bitch Al? I'll bet she's pretty pissed you let Sammy beat you huh? How does it feel to have to bow down to a girl?"

Alastair's smile faded and he jerked his hands up as he flew across the room to once more stand before Dean. Dean smiled, happy that he succeeded to get the demon away from Sam.

"I'm nobody's bitch Winchester…"

"Oh…you're not huh? So…you don't jump when Lilith tells you to?"

"Dean…don't antagonize him," Bobby warned, his eyes moving from the demon, to Sam and then back to Dean.

"Listen to your friend Dean…"

"You wanted to do so much more to me, but Lilith wouldn't let you. You just said that Al so I know it's true."

"Lilith ain't here now Dean-o. I can do whatever I want. To your buddy…to you…to sweet little Sammy. The only instruction I have is to bring Sam's head to Lilith. What I do in the meantime is all up to me…"

"I hope you're gonna bring a little more than you did before with me 'cause I gotta tell you…you bored me off that table dude…"

"You don't think I was hard enough on you? You want me to show you what I can really do? What I did to blank boy over there?"

"You ain't got the balls to do…" Dean started, his voice cut off as extreme pain ripped through his body.

"Dean!" Bobby shouted as blood spilled from the younger man's nose and mouth.

"Not much to say now huh?" Alastair taunted as he pressed his face up to Dean's.

So intent was the demon on his torture, and Bobby on his friend that no one noticed Sam rise from the chair, his once blank eyes gazing with heated intensity at Alastair. His body began to tremble and finally Bobby noticed him, his eyes going wide as the demon gasped and was jerked away from Dean. Both older hunters fell from the wall and Bobby hurriedly crawled to Dean's side, just reaching him as the younger hunter rolled onto his side, his shocked eyes staring at the sight of his baby brother holding Alastair captive with just a look.

"Wh-what are y-you…doing…S-Sam?" Alastair stammered, his shocked face pinched as if he were in pain.

"You're n-not…going to…hurt my…f-family," Sam managed through clenched teeth.

"This is impossible…Azazel's blood is gone! H-How…"

"The blood m-may be gone…b-but the…the powers are m-mine…"

Bobby and Dean watched, mesmerized as Sam slowly turned his body, the demon's body following in tandem. Once Alastair's back was to the devil's trap, Sam stepped forward, and with one shaky footstep after another he slowly backed the demon into the trap. Once Alastair was secured within the confines of the trap, Sam collapsed to the floor and curled onto his side, his arms wrapped around his body tightly.

"Sam!" Dean shouted as he pushed to his hands and knees and crawled to his brother's side.

Bobby rushed forward, ignoring the insults and cursing coming from the trapped demon. Together he and Dean rolled Sam onto his back. Blood covered Sam's lips and chin where it had flowed from his nose. His eyes were scrunched tightly shut, but he opened them when he felt a gentle caress to his cheek and he smiled weakly up at his brother's concerned face.

"Y-You look l-like c-crap Dean…" he panted.

"Right back at ya dude," Dean said with relief as he wiped the blood from his own face.

"You okay Sam?" Bobby's gruff voice asked from Sam's other side and the youngest hunter turned toward the sound.

"'m fine Bobby," Sam whispered in reply. "You 'k Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy…I'm okay," Dean answered.

The two men stood and helped Sam up from the floor, gently seating him once more in the chair he had just vacated. Once he was seated, Sam's eyes moved to the imprisoned demon who glared hatefully back at him.

"Dean…wh-what did I just do?" Sam asked nervously.

Dean rested his hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I don't know Sammy, but it was frickin' awesome!"

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**So? Likey? No likey? Please let me know.**

**Cindy.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Here is the next chapter. I was going to post it sooner, once I got home from the bowling alley, but by the time I got home I was sick. I just went to bed. I'm finally feeling better so I figured I better get a chapter out. I hope you likey.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean stood in the doorway between the kitchen and livingroom, watching as Sam slept on the sofa. The young man had been wiped out after his confrontation with Alastair and had only made it that far before taking a glance at the stairs then collapsing onto the worn piece of furniture. He had helped subdue Alastair long enough for Bobby and Dean to tie the hissing demon to a chair and place a piece of duct tape over his cursing mouth then had made his way out of the diningroom at the older men's insistence. He'd fallen right off to an exhausted slumber and Dean had taken that opportunity to clean the blood from his face before doing the same to himself. Dean was pulled from his thoughts by Bobby's somewhat surprised voice and he slowly turned back toward the kitchen.

"What was that Bobby?" he asked softly, not wanting to wake Sam from the rest he so desperately needed.

"Uh…" Bobby started, his eyes moving to his left.

Dean followed his eyes and started slightly at the two figures standing near the back door. He relaxed as he moved into the room.

"Castiel…Uriel. Nice of you to show up after the action is all over with," he said sarcastically, moving to pour himself a mug of the coffee Bobby had just brewed.

Dean sat at the table and glanced up at the silent angels. "What? Nothing to say?" he asked.

Castiel moved into the room and tipped his head slightly toward his shoulder. "We were…busy," he replied softly.

"Yeah…that happens a lot. Especially when we need you."

"It seems as though you didn't need us though. Alastair is trapped, correct?" Uriel's deep voice sounded from where he still stood near the back door.

Dean's eyes slid to the large angel. "Yeah…nearly did Sammy in."

"He'll be fine Dean. It's only because he's still weak from his time in hell. Once he regains his strength, it won't affect him as much," Castiel offered.

"Are you sure? I don't want to lose him again."

"I'm sure Dean. Without the influence of the demon blood, Sam will be able to use his powers without so much harm to himself."

"But not totally without harm?" Bobby queried as he took a seat at the table next to Dean.

"No…not completely without harm. Plus, it will take longer for him to recover after using them. You have to understand…the energy and strength needed to wield these powers…the human body isn't really designed to withstand the strain…"

"Well, then he's not using them anymore," Dean shot, his eyes glancing nervously over his shoulder toward the livingroom.

"Dean…he'll be fine. With practice, his body will build up a resistance. He's already got a good headstart, but he'll need to hone his abilities if he's to take Lilith out," Castiel replied.

"We'll find another way to take the bitch out."

"This is the best way Dean. Get her here, trap her…then, poof! Sam destroys her," Uriel said as he moved to the doorway leading to the livingroom, his eyes falling onto the sleeping hunter.

"You know what…I don't think so. You are the ones who said you would end him if he continued to use his powers and now that he went to hell, suffered unimaginable torture and still has his powers, you want him to use them? To kill Lilith? You guys couldn't even take out Alastair. He kicked your asses and you want my brother to kill Lilith? No frickin' way!" Dean spat as he pushed up from his chair, his hands firmly planted on the table.

"For some reason, Alastair, and probably Lilith, was able to block our powers. But it's obvious that they can't block Sam's. It's the only way…" Castiel said.

"He's not doing it! He's been through enough. I don't want him near those bastards ever again! The vile things Alastair said to him…touching him…just…no frickin' way!"

"Don't you think it should be his decision Dean? He's not a child. He can decide for himself," Uriel offered, turning from the doorway to face the fuming hunter.

"He's my little brother! He's my responsibility. That doesn't end just because he's not a kid anymore. He's not doing it…we'll just have to find another way."

"D-Dean…it's my choice," Sam's soft voice sounded from the doorway and all eyes turned to the pale hunter.

"Shit…Sam, what are you doing up?" Dean cried as he shot past Uriel and wrapped his arm around his brother's waist.

"You're loud Dean…" Sam answered with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry…'m sorry, Sammy," Dean said softly, helping Sam onto a chair that Bobby had pulled out.

"It's okay Dean…all I do is sleep since I came back," Sam answered tiredly.

"Yeah…and trap demons…fall out windows…"

"Ha, ha…funny…"

"Seriously, Sam…we'll get Lilith some other way…"

"How? She's too strong Dean. I can do this."

"I don't want you to. Sammy…I just got you back."

"I know. But I have to do this…its our only option."

"Sammy…"

"Castiel can help me…Uriel too…"

"You just found out you still have your powers Sam. You totally freaked and now you want to take on Lilith?"

"No…I don't want to. I have to Dean…I have to."

"Shit Sam. Why can't we just forget about all of this? We can go to the Grand Canyon…Lake Tahoe…hell, I'd do a dude ranch in Montana."

"We can't forget about it Dean, no matter how much we want to. The only way to be free of Lilith is for me to kill her…"

"Sam…"

"I am freaked Dean. I wanted these powers gone, but for some reason they were given to me and I can't just dismiss that because it puts me in danger. Maybe they were given to me for this very reason. To end Lilith. To end the threat of a demon war."

"But why you Sam? Why us? Why is it always us?"

"Because it is Dean. It just is. We may not like it, but we can't change it. We can't run from it. There's only one way to be free…"

"Yeah…and that one way could kill you Sammy."

"Not if I hone my skills. Strengthen myself for this one task. I'll be fine Dean. Just imagine it…Lilith dead…demon threat gone. We could go to the Grand Canyon…Tahoe…but seriously…a dude ranch in Montana?"

"Hey…I like horses…"

"You're scared of horses Dean."

"Am not…"

"Mr. Pringles…"

"That was not a horse Sammy…that animal was pure evil…it had red eyes!"

"It did not Dean. It was like eighty years old and could barely move."

"It bit my ass, Sammy!"

"Sounds like your kind of thing Dean," Bobby said with a soft chuckle.

"Yeah…from some blonde named Candy maybe," Dean scoffed, his angry eyes falling on the older hunter.

Sam laughed as he bent over the table, tears leaking from his eyes. "Mr. Pringles was blonde Dean!"

"Laugh it up Sammy…when you're better, I'm so gonna kick your ass!"

"No you won't…you love me too much…"

Dean looked at his brother as Sam's laughter died away. Sam didn't need to say a word. He saw it in Dean's eyes. He saw how right he was. He smiled and nodded before looking down at the table.

"You're right Sammy…"

"Yeah…me too Dean…"

Bobby smiled warmly, shaking his head as he stood to begin preparations for dinner. Castiel and Uriel remained standing where they had been, staring at the brothers in confusion. Dean glanced up at the angels and chuckled softly before moving to help Bobby. Sam watched his brother and friend before the smile slowly disappeared from his lips. His mind wandered to the demon who was trapped on the other side of the wall. He shuddered as he felt phantom hands move over his body and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to block out the hated memories that now assaulted his mind.

"You okay Sammy?" Dean's concerned voice sounded, and the young hunter opened his eyes to find his brother standing over him.

"I-I'm fine…"

"You're shaking Sam," Dean said, clearly not believing that Sam was fine.

"I…it's just hard having him in the next room. I can feel…"

"I know Sam. We'll get rid of him soon."

"I don't think that'll stop the memories Dean."

"It'll be a start Sammy."

"Y-You promise?"

"Yeah kiddo…I promise."

Sam nodded and began to push up from the table. Dean reached for his arm and helped him to his feet.

"Where you going?" he asked, still holding Sam's arm.

"I'm so tired still. I think I'll lay back down until dinner," Sam answered.

"I'll help you Sammy," Dean said as he gently tugged Sam toward the livingroom.

Dean led Sam back to the sofa and helped him to lie down then pulled the light blanket over him. He sat in the armchair and glanced at Sam before lowering his eyes to his nervously clutching fingers. Sam pushed himself to his elbows and eyed his brother with concern.

"What's wrong Dean?" he asked softly.

Dean looked up and shrugged before raising his hand to brush absently over his mouth.

"Sam?"

"What is it Dean?"

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Hold out for forty years? I only made it thirty. Am I that much weaker than you?" Dean asked, his eyes dropping in shame.

"No Dean…" Sam started as he pushed himself up the rest of the way.

Sam reached for his brother and rested his hand on Dean's arm. Dean looked up again, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

"I gave in Sammy. You didn't. You held on through the worst possible torture…"

"Dean…you are the strongest person I know…" Sam said, squeezing Dean's arm when the older man shook his head. "Yes…you are. Don't you know where I get my strength from?"

"Wh-where?" Dean whispered.

"You Dean. I get it from you. I just kept a picture of you in my head…"

"Sammy…that's just not enough…"

"When you were in the pit, what did you have to look forward to?" Sam asked.

"What do you mean?"

"When you were on that table, what did you see as your future?"

"Nothing Sam. There was no future. Just more pain."

"Well…I did have something to look forward to. I had a light at the end of the tunnel. I knew it would end. I knew I wouldn't be there forever."

"Sammy…"

"No Dean. You had no hope. I did. That's how I held on. I knew that I'd see you again. I knew I'd feel the sun on my face…knew I'd sit and have a beer with you…if I just held on, it would end."

"But still…what you went through…"

"Was no where near the torture of never seeing you again, Dean. That is what would've broken me…If I didn't have the promise of seeing you again…hearing you call me Sammy…or bitch..."

Dean let out something between a sob and a chuckle then leaned forward and grasped the arm that held him.

"That's it Dean…without you, I would've failed…plain and simple…I'm nothing without you."

"That's not true, Sam. Look at everything you did while I was gone. You kept hunting. I mean, aside from that whole Ruby thing…you lived…you…"

"I was trying to get myself killed Dean…"

"Wh-what?"

"When I couldn't get you out and I couldn't kill Lilith…I…well, I couldn't do it myself so I put myself in harms way on purpose. I wanted to die Dean. I couldn't bring you back like you did me, so I figured I'd join you. There's your strong little brother for you…"

"You are strong Sam. That's why you couldn't end it. And don't even think we're not gonna talk about what you just said, but right now, I want you to rest."

"Dean…"

"Rest Sammy. I mean it."

"'kay."

Sam laid back down but kept his eyes on Dean. Dean rolled his eyes and lightly smacked Sam's knee. "Sleep…now."

Sam smiled and closed his eyes. Dean waited until the younger man's breaths evened out before he relaxed back into the chair. He shook his head as he watched Sam sleep. 'Stupid little bitch,' he thought. He sat for several minutes before he stood and moved closer to the sofa. He reached down and softly felt Sam's forehead and shaking his head, he smiled.

"We are so messed up, Sammy," he whispered. "But that's okay…as long as we're together, we'll be okay."

Dean gave Sam one last look then walked toward the kitchen to help Bobby with dinner.

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**So, let's all say it together.......Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Gotta love the brotherly fluff! And, no evil cliffy! I'll try to post another chapter later tonight, if I'm still feeling okay. Please let me know what you think.**

**Cindy.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Here is the next chapter. Thanks to everyone for their kind words, they made me feel much better. I hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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Dinner went off without a hitch, Sam even accomplishing more than a few small nibbles of his toasted cheese sandwich. Dean was quite pleased to see Sam finish his mug of tomato soup and quickly ushered him from the kitchen, forcing him to rest on the sofa while Dean in the meantime went back to help Bobby clean up the dishes from their steak dinner. Dean had felt guilty about eating steak in front of Sam, but his little brother didn't seem to notice, as his mind appeared to be a million miles away. Dean could only guess at where Sam had drifted off to and it killed him to know he couldn't take those memories away from his beloved brother.

Dean and Bobby were just finishing drying the last of the dishes when they heard voices and they looked at each other quizzically before glancing around to determine where the voices were coming from. They moved together to the livingroom and Dean felt an immediate rush of panic when he spied the empty sofa. He rushed further into the room, his eyes darting to each corner, but Sam was not there. The voices came again and both hunters jerked around toward the diningroom. Dean's face went white and he dashed forward, Bobby right on his heels. The men came to a sudden halt at the scene before them.

Sam stood just outside the devil's trap, his body trembling as he held his hand out before him, his eyes glaring intently at the trapped demon who sat writhing in his chair.

"Sam!" Dean cried as he rushed to his brother's side, worry evident in his voice.

Sam seemed to come back from where he had been because he slowly moved his eyes to rest on Dean's face. He dropped his hand and Dean had to reach out and grab his arm to keep the young hunter from falling.

"Sammy…what're ya doing?" Dean queried softly, his eyes moving to the sneering demon.

"He h-has to p-pay…" Sam stammered, lifting his shaky hand up to wipe away the trickle of blood that had begun to drip from his nose.

"You let me handle him, Sammy. He'll pay for what he did to you kiddo. I promise," Dean said as he attempted to move Sam toward the doorway, the younger hunter digging in his heels, refusing to move.

"N-Not for m-me…f-for what he did to you Dean…" Sam whispered.

"God Sammy…don't…not for me…"

"Everything is for you. Everything…"

Dean dropped his eyes and shook his head. He felt Sam tense when Alastair's rough voice sounded from within the devil's trap.

"Pretty good Sammy boy…just not good enough. Story of your life huh? Never quite good enough. No matter how hard you try, you always fall short," the demon hissed.

"Shut the fuck up Alastair," Dean growled as he turned his cold eyes onto the demon.

Alastair chuckled, his eyes never leaving Sam's face. "You never measured up in your daddy's eyes…your brother's either."

"You don't know jack you piece of shit!" Dean shouted, his concerned eyes glancing at Sam, then at Bobby, who stood behind Alastair, anger in his dark eyes.

"I know that both your daddy and you never thought Sammy would ever amount to anything as a hunter. I know that John never wanted another brat to feed…"

Dean was in the devil's trap in an instant, his one hand squeezing Alastair's throat while the other plowed into the surprised demon's face. Blood spurted from the host's ruined nose, but Alastair merely laughed as he stared defiantly up at the furious hunter.

"Temper, temper Deano. I only speak the truth and you know it," he spat coolly.

"The only truth is that you're an asshole!"

"Dean…step out of the trap," Bobby said evenly.

Dean glanced up at Bobby and the murderous glint in his eyes caused the older hunter to take a step back. "I got it under control, Bobby," he said, his voice low and dangerous.

"We don't know what he can still do. Just…step out."

Dean looked back at the sneering face of Alastair then he smiled coldly before letting go of the demon's throat and stepping backwards out of the trap.

"The only thing our little Sammy is good for is being my play thing. The only thing he'll ever be good for. Why don't you come here Sammy…we can give big brother a show…" Alastair taunted, but his triumph was short lived as he was grabbed from behind, his head jerked back, his mouth pulled open wide.

Bobby was beyond rage as he jerked Alastair's head back and jammed a bottle in his mouth. The demon sputtered before a gutwrenching scream tore from his sizzling, steaming throat. Bobby continued to pour the bottle of holy water down the demon's throat, delighting in the anguished sounds coming from the beast. He looked up and met Dean's approving gaze before turning his eyes onto Sam. The young man had moved until he was propped against the wall, his wide eyes transfixed by the scene before him. Dean followed Bobby's gaze and immediately jumped to his brother's aide. He gently pulled Sam to a nearby chair and just managed to seat him before his legs gave out.

Bobby pulled the bottle away once it was empty and stepped from the devil's trap, watching as Alastair continued to squirm in his seat. Bobby joined the brothers, assisting Dean in his assessment of this most recent trauma to the youngest hunter. Besides the nosebleed and general weakness, Sam seemed physically fine. Emotionally though, he appeared to be near the edge of a dangerously steep cliff and even one tiny push could send him completely into oblivion. When Alastair seemed to be about to find his voice, Bobby moved back into the trap and stuck a fresh piece of duct tape over his sizzling lips.

Bobby rejoined the brothers, his concern matching Dean's as they continued their assessment of Sam's condition.

"Sammy, why did you come in here? Why did you remove his gag?" Dean asked softly as he rubbed his hand comfortingly over Sam's back.

Weary hazel eyes turned to him and Sam sighed before answering. "I-I wanted him to pay for what he did to you. I guess…I…I wanted him to say he was sorry for hurting you. Stupid huh?" Sam answered quietly.

"Oh Sam…you knew that would never happen…"

"I know Dean…I just needed to do something for you after everything you went through…for me…"

"Sam…what about what he did to you?"

"I deserved it all Dean. I needed to go through it to set things right…but you…you didn't deserve any of what you got."

"Neither did you Sammy. You don't deserve any of the hand you've been dealt."

"I just want to end him Dean. I can't stand him being here. I can feel him still…I can feel everything…"

Alastair sniggered through his gag and Dean stomped up to him then rammed his fist over and over into the vile creatures face until the man he possessed sagged against his restraints.

"Dean…you'll kill the host…"

"The host is already dead Sam," came a deep voice from the kitchen entrance.

Dean and Bobby turned their eyes to the doorway, both shaking their heads when they spied Uriel and Castiel glaring menacingly at the demon. Sam slowly turned until he too gazed at the angels.

"H-How do you know?" he whispered.

"Because Sam, Alastair never allows his host to live. The second he takes over, they are as good as dead," Castiel answered as he moved gracefully across the room to stand in front of the demon, just outside the lines of the trap.

Alastair glared at he angel defiantly, though he was not able to hide the fear in his eyes.

"Can I k-kill him now? I need…"

"No Sam. You will alert Lilith and she will not come if she knows you still have your abilities. She'll be coming soon to find Alastair and you. Then you can strike them both down," Uriel said in his deep baritone.

"No way. It'll kill him. He's too weak. Look at him! Look at what just using a small amount of power did to him!" Dean snarled.

"We can help him with that. We can speed his recovery and help him build up his power. Without the demon blood, he will be able to take both of the vermin out. The blood is what kept him from success before," Uriel said.

"So…what do we do with this piece of shit in the meantime? I don't want him this close to Sammy," Dean queried.

"Uriel and I will take him to the basement. Bobby can put in another devil's trap. That's as far as he can go though. He needs to be close. I'm sorry," Castiel answered softly.

"Well that just sucks!"

"It's okay Dean. I'll b-be fine," Sam whispered tiredly.

"Sammy…"

"Did you know he possesses the knife?" Uriel questioned.

"Knife? What knife?" Bobby asked curiously.

"The demon killing knife. Ruby's knife," Castiel answered.

"What? Where?" Dean cried.

"Behind his back," Castiel said.

"W-We…we didn't even check. Just wanted to get him secured. Shit!" Dean cried, pissed at himself for missing that.

"Why did he bring the knife?" Bobby queried.

"To take Sam's head," Uriel answered.

"Fucking son of a bitch!" Dean screamed as he rushed to the demon.

He roughly pushed the demon forward and reached down his back, smiling triumphantly when his fingers closed over the hilt of the knife. He pulled it out and flashed it before the quivering demon's face.

"Are you afraid of this knife? It didn't kill you before, but it did cause you pain," Dean taunted, his eyes moving up to meet Castiel's gaze. "You get him secured in the basement. I'll be down once I have Sam settled. I have a score to settle."

"Dean…n-no…the host. You c-can't," Sam started.

"The host is gone. You heard the angels Sam. I'm just going to give him a dose of his own medicine. Weaken him for when it's time for you to do your mind thingy on him," Dean explained.

Sam's glistening, sad eyes gazed up at Dean and the older brother nearly broke at the sight. "Dean…what he made you do…"

"I have to do it Sam. I just have to…for you…and for me. Look, I'll make sure the angels are certain the host is gone. I promise Sammy…only Alastair will suffer."

Sam sat, silent as he gazed at his brother. Dean's pleading eyes tore him apart and he finally nodded before lowering his eyes to his lap. Bobby moved out of the room, hurrying to place the devil's trap so the angels could move Alastair. Dean moved to help Sam up, deciding the best place for the younger man would be his bed upstairs. The further away from the basement he was, the less likely he would be to hear the demon's screams.

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**So? Just a quick note. I wrote this before the episode (can't for the life of me remember the name) where Dean tortured Alastair. I very nearly changed the whole direction of the story because of the similaraties between it and that epi. I have changed some of what I had planned in future chapters, but I did leave the torture intact. The things I did change do not affect the outcome that I had planned, just how we get there. Reviews are love.**

**Cindy. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey all! I have an early post for you. Are you ready for a bit o demon pain? Good. Enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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_Alastair screams, the piercing sound echoing off the walls of Bobby's basement as the demon writhes on the chair that restrains him. Dean leans over him, a smirk a mile wide on his lips. Ruby's knife slices through the flesh on the demon's bared chest, the blade crackling and sparking as it meets the demon essence within the host's body. Alastair pants and glares up at Dean with hate filled eyes, his lips red as blood gurgles up from his throat to spill out over his chin._

_"You like that you demon spawn son of a bitch!?" Dean hisses, relishing the pain and fear that radiates from the demon._

_Alastair straightens as best as he can and smiles coldly. "Enjoy it while you can Deano…once I get free I'll drag your ass upstairs so you can hear little Sammy's screams as I rip him apart, piece by pathetic piece. His head will be the last to leave his body. All you'll be left with will be a bloody pile of gore to remember your precious brother by," the demon taunts, even though he knows he'll never make good on his threat. It's worth it though to see Dean flinch, ever so slightly, before the mask is back in place._

_Dean steps back and turns to look at Bobby over his shoulder, smirking as the older hunter shakes his head in disgust._

_"Do you believe this fucker? Do you believe he actually has the gall to say my brother's name? To threaten him?" Dean asks, to which Bobby shakes his head again, his eyes filled with rage._

_Dean turns and mercilessly plunges the blade through Alastair's shoulder and smiles when the demon screams, so much louder and pain filled this time then any of the times before. Dean leans in and hisses into Alastair's ear, his tone cold and cruel and so unlike Dean it frightens even Bobby._

_"You hurt my brother you sorry piece of shit…if I could, I'd slice you apart, but…I have to leave you for Sam. He's earned the right to kill you more than I have."_

_Dean stands tall again and sneers down at the pissed off demon. "Doesn't mean I can't have fun with you though."_

_The blade is pulled from Alastair's shoulder and Dean begins to cut through his flesh again, his smile widening with each scream he tears from the demon's throat._

Sam's eyes flew open wide and he bolted up from his pillow, his chest hitching as he panted wildly, trying to draw as much oxygen into his lungs as he could. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, and he knew without a doubt that what he'd just dreamed was not a dream at all. He knew that what he had witnessed was happening right now, two floors below him in Bobby's basement. Sam felt sick and he leaned over until his head almost lay on his knees, breathing deeply in an attempt to push the nausea away. A soft touch to the back of his neck caused Sam to flinch and his nausea was forgotten as he jerked away from the touch.

Sam lifted his frightened eyes and sagged with relief when he saw Castiel standing beside the bed, a look of concern on his handsome face. Sam raised a trembling hand up and brushed it over his face as he sighed and shook his head slightly. Castiel moved more toward the head of the bed and then Sam felt himself being gently pushed back until his back rested against a pile of propped up pillows.

"Rest Sam. I've done what I can to help you get your strength back, but you still need to rest," the angel said softly as he gazed down upon the pale young man.

"It wasn't a dream was it?" Sam whispered, his hazel eyes staring up at the angel's face. "Dean's really down there, right now, doing those things, isn't he?"

"Sam…Dean needs to do this. For you…for himself."

"The look on his face. His voice. It's like it wasn't even him. I mean…I know it's Alastair and he deserves the punishment, but still…I've never seen Dean so cold before."

"Dean loves you more than anything Sam. He was shown some of what was done to you and it nearly killed him."

"But, you're an angel Castiel. You're condoning revenge? Torture? Urging it even? I don't understand."

"Do you think Alastair deserves mercy? I told you Sam, the host is dead. It's only the demon now."

"I know. I'm glad he's suffering, I really am and that scares me. I just…I don't want Dean suffering later. He told me what he did…after he got off that table. It's still tearing him up. I just don't want this to make it worse."

"Those were tortured souls Sam. This is different. Alastair's a demon. One of the worst. If anything, what Dean is doing will help him heal, and it will weaken Alastair. If he's weakened, it'll be easier for you. You'll need all of your strength for Lilith."

Sam gazed up at the angel and finally nodded. Castiel smiled sympathetically and moved to once again sit in the chair near the door where he had been keeping watch over his charge while Dean and Bobby were in the basement. He turned to the doorway and nodded at Uriel, who had silently appeared a few moments prior. Uriel nodded in return and left the doorway, his footfalls echoing lightly down the hallway.

Castiel turned back to Sam and cocked his head slightly. "Go back to sleep Sam," he instructed softly. "I'll make sure you don't dream anymore."

Sam sat for a moment before he lightly nodded. He scooted down in bed and rolled onto his side. The exhausted hunter was asleep within minutes, his slumber blessedly dream free for once.

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Dean stood over the sagging, blood covered demon then glanced to his right where Bobby silently stood. Bobby shuffled nervously as he returned Dean's gaze.

"Uh…you feel better now?" the grizzled hunter queried, his eyes moving from Dean to Alastair and back again.

Dean smirked slightly as he answered. "Much better."

"I'm glad. Think you'll be able to sleep better now?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah…I think so. Now, once he and Lilith are dead…I'll be sleeping like a baby," Dean replied.

Both hunters looked up when they caught movement on the basement stairs. Dean sighed when he saw Uriel standing there, watching him intently.

"What do you need Uriel?" Dean asked when the large angel remained silent.

"Are you finished for now?" Uriel's deep voice queried, his eyes moving to rest on the barely conscious demon.

"Yeah…arm's sore…gotta rest it for awhile," Dean answered. "Why?"

"Sam saw everything. Freaked him out a bit," the angel answered.

"What!? He's supposed to be asleep! Wait a minute…he's not here so how did he see?"

"Dream…vision. Whatever...he saw. Maybe you should take a break."

"Shit!" Dean spat as he ran past Uriel and bounded up the stairs.

Dean didn't stop running until he practically fell over the doorjamb into Sam's room, his face red and shiny with sweat. He stopped short when he saw Sam curled on his side, sleeping soundly and looking more peaceful then he had since he came back. Dean turned when he heard movement and glanced at Castiel quizzically when the angel stepped up beside him.

"He's better now. He was quite agitated, but…"

"How the hell was he able to see that?" Dean queried urgently, keeping his voice low so as not to wake his brother.

"He's more acutely connected to you now, Dean. The absence of Azazel's blood has freed him, allowed him to unconsciously tie himself to you, so to speak," Castiel answered.

"Don't you think you could have told me that before I went to slicing and dicing?"

"I didn't know he would forge such a strong connection. You need to be more careful. I can shield him to a point, but he's highly sensitive now."

Dean shook his head and chuckled lightly. "He's always been highly sensitive. Mr. Emo, the wonder geek."

"Do you really think you should be calling him names when he can't defend himself?"

"It's all said in love, Cas," Dean said, a grin forming as he thought he saw a slight curl to the angel's lips.

"Sit with him… and don't wake him. He needs his rest. I did what I could for him, but he's still not completely back."

"Yeah…don't worry. I know how to take care of my brother," Dean replied.

Dean stepped over and grabbed the chair near the door and carried it silently to Sam's bed. He set the chair beside the bed and sat, smiling affectionately down at his sleeping brother, marveling at how young and innocent the man appeared in sleep. He turned his head to make sure Castiel was gone before reaching out to smooth Sam's hair out of his eyes. His fingers moved over Sam's cheek before he pulled his hand away.

"I'm sorry Sammy. I'm sorry you had to see that. I didn't want you to. It'll be over soon kiddo. I promise…it'll be over soon," he whispered.

Dean leaned back, his eyes never leaving Sam's peaceful face. He silently prayed that he was right and that it would be over soon and that at the end of it all, he would still have his baby brother beside him, safe and sound.

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Tabitha Newton kissed her husband goodbye before hurrying out the door of their new condo. The couple were fresh off their honeymoon, Tabitha still sporting the tan she had acquired from the lazy days spent lying on the beach in Maui. She had a lot on her mind, namely the thank-you cards yet to be written and mailed, but mostly her mind went to her first day of her internship at the regional hospital one town away.

Tabitha hummed happily as she made her way to her car, a wedding gift from her parents. She had just opened her door when she caught movement to her right and she turned just as the black smoke smashed into her, pushing down her throat as she opened her mouth to scream. Her body twitched and convulsed as it was filled with the smoke, finally stilling when the last of the smoke disappeared.

Tabitha straightened and smoothed down her skirt before sliding into the front seat of her hybrid. She shut the door and started the car then pulled away from the curb, but she wasn't heading for the hospital. She turned the car and headed for the highway that would take her west. West to South Dakota. Tabitha looked in the rearview mirror, her eyes filled with mirth despite how white and soulless they were.

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**Uh oh. Sounds like Lilith's on the way. Not good. Sam still isn't at one hundred percent. Well, I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I know I didn't get too involved in the torture of Alastair, but there's more pain coming for him. Please let me know what you think. There will be another chapter later today.**

**Cindy.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Here is a short chapter for you. Short but full of excitement. Hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean stood up from where he had been sitting vigil next to Sam's bed, concern clouding his green eyes. Sam was dreaming again, and from the looks of it, the dream was more a nightmare. Sam's body was bathed in sweat and he rocked his head from side to side, soft murmurs and cries escaping his slightly parted lips. Dean had been trying to wake his brother to no avail. The young man was in it deep and would only awaken when he was ready. Dean rested a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder and whispered softly that he was there, hoping the touch and his voice would carry through to his brother's subconscious.

Dean looked up and cocked his head when he heard a car pull up outside the house. He instinctively rushed around the room to make sure all salt lines and wards were in place before grabbing his shotgun. He listened as he heard Bobby open the door, the older man's gravely voice carrying up to Dean's alert ears. Dean then heard a woman's voice, soft and feminine and he took a step toward the open doorway. Suddenly, he heard Bobby's startled yell and soft laughter right before he heard a loud crash.

"Shit!" Dean snapped, his head turning so he could see Sam, who was still oblivious to everything but the dream he was enshrouded in.

Dean hesitated for only a moment before rushing from the room and down the hall leading to the staircase. He bounded down the stairs, stopping a few steps above the bottom when he spotted Bobby sprawled out on the floor, a petite young woman standing over him. Dean raised his shotgun and took aim at the woman.

"Hey!" he shouted out, flinching when white eyes turned his way.

With a flick of her finger, the shotgun was ripped from Dean's hands and the hunter jumped at the sudden turn of events.

"Dean Winchester…how ya been darlin'?" the woman queried sweetly as she stepped away from Bobby and toward the snarling hunter.

"Lilith…we were wondering when you'd show your skanky ass up here," Dean hissed as he backed up one step.

Lilith laughed heartily before waving her hand, sending Dean flying over the banister to land heavily on the floor beneath. She strolled to the struggling hunter and stood over him, hands on her hips.

"Still the comedian I see," she said smugly. "Now, where's that sweet little brother of yours? I sent Alastair to fetch him for me, but that one is an imbecile. I mean, I only required Sammy's head…you'd think he could handle that."

"Y-You ain't taking Sam you bitch! And don't call him Sammy," Dean growled as he pushed to his hands and knees.

"Oh…that's right. Only big brother can call him that. Now, Deanie…who's going to stop me from getting what I want? Uncle Bobby's out, you will be soon. I sure don't see your feathered friends lurking anywhere nearby. Sam's mine for the taking. Weak, pathetic little human that he is. I'll enjoy destroying him. He's upstairs…sleeping, right? Easy pickings."

Lilith turned toward the staircase, her eerie eyes moving upward. She smiled coldly as she cocked her head as if listening to some far off melody.

"Awwww…poor Sammy's having a nightmare. Reliving his more…intimate moments with Alastair. Delicious…" Lilith muttered as she closed her eyes, delighting in the emotions flowing over her from the room upstairs.

"Stay away from him. You'll be sorry if you don't…" Dean hissed.

Lilith turned to Dean and smiled wickedly. "Who's going to make me sorry Dean? You? You're nothing…meaningless. I won't waste my time on you. You or your friend," Lilith said, indicating Bobby with a jerk of her head.

"So…get it over with then. Kill me bitch!" Dean spat.

Lilith shook her head with amusement in her eyes. "Oh no Deanie…you and your friend will live. I can almost taste the delicious grief and angst when you lose your precious Sammy again. This time though…he won't be coming back."

Lilith chuckled as she moved to the stairs again. Dean lurched to his feet and sprang toward the demon, but his freedom was short lived. With one look, Dean was thrust away, his back and head violently crashing into the wall behind him. He dropped to the floor, his body resting in a boneless heap. Lilith smiled and started up the steps and toward the young man who still slept, unaware of the impending danger that crept his way.

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Sam moved fitfully under the covers, his eyes darting beneath closed lids. He cried out, soft whimpers of "No," murmured over and over. His body bucked and arched as the nightmare assailed him, worse than any other one before.

_He hung, suspended by chains from the rock ceiling of the chamber, the hooks through his wrists coated in his blood. The crimson fluid trailed lazily down his arms and Sam shivered when a tongue moved over his skin, lapping up the warm fluid as it pooled on his shoulder. Hands moved over his naked body, rough and hungry. Sam held in a scream when Alastair bit into the flesh of his back, trembling when the demon ghosted his lips up his neck to then nip lightly on his sensitive ear._

_"Time to play Sammy boy…" the hated voice whispered._

_Sam couldn't contain the screams as he was viciously assaulted by the sneering demon. He tried to shut his eyes, but they seemed to be glued open. Suddenly, a woman appeared before him. She was small, fragile even with delicate fingers that reached up to brush over his cheek. She shook blonde curls from her face as she turned her white eyes on the demon behind Sam. Alastair immediately stopped his assault and stepped back from the tortured hunter._

_Sam was left panting, the pain unbearable, but he never took his eyes off the woman before him._

_"Lilith…" he whispered, his body trembling with pain and fatigue._

_The demon smiled as she moved in and kissed Sam lightly on his lips._

_"You're mine now Sam. You thought you were free from me, but you were wrong. I'm back and there's nobody to stop me from taking what is mine," Lilith said as she wrapped her delicate hands around Sam's throat and began to squeeze._

"No!!" Sam screamed as he bolted straight up in his bed, his hands moving shakily to his neck.

Sam peered fearfully around the room, expecting his brother to swoop in at any moment to comfort him. Sam nearly panicked when Dean didn't appear. Something was very wrong.

"D-Dean?" Sam whispered as he peered once more around the room.

Suddenly, Sam jerked back against the head of the bed, his eyes shooting frantically to the open doorway and out into the hall. "Lilith…" he said under his breath as he shrank further against the headboard.

Sam watched and waited, but nobody appeared. He knew Lilith was here. He could feel her presence and he wondered why she didn't show herself. Why she hadn't attacked. Suddenly, Sam was struck by a terrifying thought. Where was Dean? And Bobby? Sam began to shake as the panic spread over him. If Lilith was here then what had she done to his family? Tears sprang to his eyes as the thought of his brother and surrogate father being dead assaulted him.

"No…not Dean…not Bobby. Please…not them," he whispered as he pushed the covers from his legs.

Sam's bare feet touched silently down onto the cool wooden floor and the young hunter slowly stood, sending up a silent prayer of thanks to Castiel for helping him to regain his strength. Sam was clothed only in a tee shirt and thin sleep pants and he shivered slightly as he moved carefully across the room. He smiled softly when he saw the salt line before the door. He leaned his head through the open doorway and peered down the hall.

The house was silent and it unnerved Sam. If Lilith was here and if there had been a fight, why hadn't he heard it? Had he been so deep in his nightmare that he hadn't heard his brother and Bobby as they fought to keep the demon away from him? Sam shook the dark thoughts from his head. Dean and Bobby were alive. They had to be. If Lilith had hurt them, she would pay. Sam would make her suffer before he killed her. Lilith didn't know he still had his abilities, Sam was sure of that. She had no idea what was in store.

With his will renewed, Sam smiled as he stepped out into the hallway. It would end today. He would finally be free, completely.

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**Uh oh...the bitch is there. Crap! More tomorrow.**

**Cindy.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay folks, here is the next chapter. The showdown begins. Enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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Lilith stopped abruptly when Sam's scream carried down the hall and met her alert ears. She chuckled as she trailed her fingers over the wooden banister, her eyes rising to the stained glass window just above the landing ahead of her. She listened for sounds of Sam's movements and stepped down one stair when she heard the tell tale signs of the young hunter rising from his bed. She waited patiently to see if he would leave the sanctuary of his no doubt protected room to venture into the hallway.

Lilith scoffed at the crude protections the hunters had erected in the hopes of keeping them safe. Mere salt lines and wards weren't enough to keep the likes of her out. They weren't enough to keep Alastair out either and the white eyed demon briefly wondered what had become of her subordinate. Lilith's thoughts turned back to Sam when she heard soft, shoeless footsteps in the hallway beyond her. She waited as the cautious footfalls neared the head of the stairway before stepping up and onto the landing. She smiled coldly as wide, surprised eyes met hers, the young hunter before her swallowing convulsively as they stared each other down.

Lilith crossed her arms over her chest as she cocked her head to one side. "Hello Sam," she said, her voice soft and sinister.

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Sam stepped out into the hall and gazed down it's length, his eyes pausing on the stained glass window above the landing. He sensed that Lilith was near so he pushed any thoughts of calling out for Dean aside, deciding that silence was best for now. His barefeet padded lightly down the hall and he became more nervous the closer he got to the landing at the top of the stairs.

Sam sensed the presence before he saw the movement and stopped just before a small, blonde woman stepped up onto the landing and smiled coldly in his direction. Sam swallowed nervously as he realized he recognized the woman. He could still feel her touch on his cheek, her lips on his. This was the woman from his nightmare. Sam's heart pounded in his chest as he came to the realization that Dean and Bobby could very well be dead. The pounding was so loud in his ears that he barely heard the woman's cruel voice as she greeted him.

"Hello Sam," the woman said as she took a step forward.

Sam held his ground, anger rising up in him at the sound of her. "Lilith, you were stupid to come here," he hissed as he too stepped forward.

Lilith was momentarily caught off guard by Sam's bravery. She expected him to cower before her. She expected whimpers of fear. She hadn't expected his strong voice and defiant attitude. She shook off her surprise and her sudden urge to take a step back.

"Where's Alastair?" she queried, feigning disinterest.

"He's around…somewhere," Sam answered casually.

"Sam, do you really think you should be jerking me around? I can crush you with a blink of my eye," Lilith snarled.

"As I remember, the last time you tried to kill me, you couldn't. Besides, even if you can, you won't. No fun in that now is there? You'll want to drag it out…make me suffer. I beat you at your little game and it pisses you off Lilith. You want to tear me to pieces, but you want Alastair too. You don't know where he is and you need me right now because I can take you to him," Sam replied, a slight grin creeping over his lips as he saw the demon's uncertainty.

"You must be suicidal Sammy. You have no powers anymore. You're a pathetic piece of human crap. Your powers were never strong enough to take out the likes of me or Alastair anyway. I can't figure out if you're really this brave or just plain stupid."

"Stupid…brave…really, what's the difference? I won't bow to you. I don't fear you. I pity you Lilith. And the name's Sam you bitch! Dean is the only one who can call me Sammy."

"You pity me? You're about to die and you pity me? You make me laugh Sam-my."

"At least I'll die my own man…without Azazel's vile blood flowing through my veins. You lost Lilith. Whether you kill me or not, I won. You can't change that," Sam said with a smile.

Lilith glared angrily at the young, defiant hunter. This was not how she had planned this meeting to go. A small trendil of fear began to creep through her as she stared at Sam's confident face. She shook the fear off, secure in her belief that he could not harm her. She smiled coldly as she stared him down.

"I could kill Dean. That would matter to you, wouldn't it? Dean and Bobby? Two more deaths to add to the list? How many have died because of you Sam? How many more will?" Lilith hissed.

"I can't change what's already happened, but I can control what happens now. You aren't hurting anyone else Lilith. You're done," Sam said, hope rising in him, knowing that at least for now, Dean was alive.

Lilith chuckled lightly, covering the deep seed of doubt that had implanted itself in her mind. She needed to find Alastair. She needed to kill the pathetic hunter before her. She hadn't decided Dean and Bobby's fate yet. Somehow the thought of leaving them to find Sam's beheaded body filled her with intense pleasure. She knew they would continue to be a pain in her ass, but it would be worth the grief and pain they would remain in for the rest of their lives. Sam would get off easy. The others would suffer until the day they died.

"Take me to Alastair. Take me now and I won't touch your precious brother and the old man. Defy me further and they die. I mean it Sam. They'll die slow, painful deaths."

Sam glared hatefully at the demon before he began to move. "Follow me," he said lightly.

Sam stepped past Lilith and started down the stairs, knowing she would follow. As he came to the bottom of the stairs his gaze fell upon Bobby's limp form and he had to restrain himself from running to his side. He felt Lilith nudge him roughly from behind and he turned his eyes away from his friend as he stepped onto the wooden floor. He turned toward the kitchen and that's when he saw Dean. Sam could not stop himself from crying out and running to drop next to his brother's side. He reached shaky fingers out to press them against Dean's neck, sighing with relief when he felt a strong pulse.

Sam hissed as he was hauled to his feet by his hair and he spun around, slapping Liliths hand away.

"They're fine Sammy boy. Now, let's go!" Lilith snarled.

"Fine. Just…don't touch me again," Sam snapped as he started to move once more toward the kitchen.

Lilith put her hands up in mock surrender. "A bit touchy there Sam," she said.

"Shut up…" Sam mumbled.

Lilith chuckled as she followed the tall hunter. He stepped into the kitchen and up to a closed door. He turned the deadbolt then pulled the door open. He turned and motioned for Lilith to go down the stairs and rolled his eyes when she refused.

"No Sam," Lilith said as she shook her head. "You first."

Sam reached up and grasped a string that hung from the ceiling. He pulled the string and a lone lightbulb came to life, barely illuminating the steep staircase that led to the basement. He started down the steps and listened as the light footfalls of the small woman who Lilith had possessed followed after him. Sam silently prayed that he would have the strength to succeed in his endeavor. He also prayed that he would live to see his brother and Bobby again.

Sam moved across the concrete floor, his eyes taking in the huddled form of Alastair. The once defiant and vile demon lay on the cold floor within the devils trap, his body trembling. Sam's eyes widened as the demon uncurled when Lilith's voice called out for him. The damage that had been done to him was atrocious and Sam couldn't help but think of the irony of the whole situation. Dean had most likely used many of the torture methods that he had learned from this very demon.

"Answer me Alastair! How could you be so stupid as to get yourself captured by humans!?" Lilith spat.

Sam swallowed nervously. If Alastair revealed his secret, all could be lost. He needn't have been worried. As Alastair opened his mouth it was quite apparent that he would not be telling any secrets. Sam was overcome with nausea when he saw the demon's ruined mouth. The flesh within was literally eaten away and what flesh remained was severely blistered. Sam could only imagine what his throat looked like.

Lilith turned on Sam, fury making her eyes blaze. "What the hell did you do!?"

Sam looked at Lilith and smiled. "Me? Nothing. That would be Dean's handiwork. He did learn from the best," he answered.

Lilith moved toward the hunter with sudden speed, her eyes flying wide open when Sam lifted his hand up and stopped her instantly.

"Wh-what…" Lilith started, her voice cut off by the movement of one long finger.

"As I told you before Lilith, you were stupid to come here. You and your little lackey are going to die today," Sam hissed as he stepped toward the silent, struggling demon.

Lilith narrowed her eyes, hate pouring from her as she realized what was happening. She fought against Sam's hold and with a loud shriek, found her voice.

"This isn't possible! How can you be doing this!"

"The powers were mine and only mine. And since the demon blood was taken from me, they are mine to control as I wish."

"You can't defeat me! Your powers are nothing compared to mine! You are a pathetic human!"

Sam merely smiled and flicked his wrist, sending the small woman flying backward into the devils trap. When she met the opposite boundary of the trap, she stopped abruptly as if hitting a brick wall and dropped to the floor. Sam stepped up to the trap and watched as Lilith climbed to her feet.

"You hurt my brother. You hurt my friend. You hurt me. Today…you pay," Sam said, his voice cold and controlled.

Lilith chuckled as she stepped up to the edge of the trap. "Do you really think you can kill me? Do you think this can hold me? You are so naïve Sammy. You are not strong enough."

"Maybe I'm not as strong as I could be, but I'm stronger than you think. I will defeat you Lilith. I may die doing it, but I will defeat you."

"Bring it on Sammy. Bring it on."

Sam smiled and with a cock of his head, the basement door slammed shut, the iron bar slamming down to seal it shut from any who tried to open it from the outside.

"You got it bitch 'cause it's definitely on…"

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Dean came around slowly, a soft patting on his cheek bringing him out of the darkness and back into the light. He pried open his heavy eyes and stared up at the worn face of his friend and comrade.

"That's it Dean…open your eyes," Bobby coaxed as he continued to tap Dean's cheek.

"Okay…okay…I'm awake old man," Dean grumbled as he pushed up onto his elbows.

"Let me help you up," Bobby said, grasping Dean's arms and pulling him slowly up.

Once Dean was on his feet and not swaying, Bobby let him go and took a step back. Dean glanced up at the older man, his eyes hopeful.

"Sammy?" he asked softly.

Bobby shook his head and lowered his eyes. "He's not in his room Dean. I don't know where he is."

"Shit!" Dean cried. "That bitch better not have hurt him!"

Both men were startled as the house around them suddenly began to shake at the same time an agonized scream tore up from the depths of the basement. The shaking stopped, but a steady rumble continued from beneath them. Dean took off toward the basement door, Bobby hot on his heels. Dean grabbed the doorknob and pulled frantically, but the door would not open. Bobby joined him, but they could not budge the door.

"Damn! The iron bar must be in place…" Bobby started.

"Iron bar?"

"To keep the creepies out…or in this case…in…"

"So…Sammy's down there with Lilith and Alastair? Son of a bitch!"

Another gutwrenching scream sounded from the basement as the house shook again and Dean started to frantically pull on the door in complete and utter panic, his brother's name screaming from his lips.

"SAMMY!!"

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**Well crap! Another evil cliffy! Can you freakin' believe it? Please review.**

**Cindy.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Alright, I guess I've held you all in suspense for long enough! Here is the next chapter. Will Dean get to Sam? Will Sam defeat the demons? Will Bobby find love? Huh? Where the heck did that come from? LOL Must be my lame attempt at humor. Anyway, hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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"SAMMY!!"

Dean turned panic stricken eyes onto Bobby as he frantically pulled on the basement door. The shaking of the house stopped again, but the rumble from below them continued. Bobby reached out a hand and firmly grasped Dean's arm.

"Dean…stop," he coaxed even though he knew it was futile to try and stop the younger man from trying to reach his brother.

Dean shrugged Bobby's hand off and glared menacingly at his friend. "We have to get him out Bobby! Help me!" he cried, his panic rising up a notch.

"Dean…you won't get it open that way. Besides, I'm not so sure we'd be helping Sam by going down there," Bobby said, his own fear ratcheting up at the continued rumble and sporatic screams coming from behind the closed door.

"If you think for one fucking second I'm leaving him down there to fight them on his own, well…you're out of your fucking mind, Bobby!" Dean screamed as he beat on the door.

Bobby sighed, resigned to the fact that they were indeed going into the snake pit. He held a finger up to Dean then hurried to the back porch of the house. A few minutes later he returned, a large axe in hand. Dean smiled appreciatively as he took the axe then immediately began to swing it, cracking through the wooden door with each hit.

Bobby left Dean to his task, the younger man never even slowing his swings to acknowledge the man's retreat. Bobby returned a few minutes later, his arms laden with holy water and other religious offerings that could be helpful against the demons that Sam battled. Dean finally broke through the door enough to allow him to reach through and lift the iron bar. He turned when Bobby nudged him and smiled briefly as Bobby handed him Ruby's knife and a bottle filled with holy water. Bobby had his own water bottle, a book on exorcisms and a large cross clutched tightly in his hands. He nodded and Dean pulled the door open. The two men wasted no time in rushing through the door and down the stairs to join the raging battle below.

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Dean hit the basement floor first, his eyes instantly seeking out his brother. The sight that met him nearly had him crashing to his knees. Sam and the demons were in a standoff and Dean truly could not determine who was winning. One thing was clear though. Alastair , once fierce and fearless, was faring the worst out of the three. He lay on his side and it appeared as he had blood oozing from his very pores. His hand was held out before him as he assisted Lilith in her attack on Sam.

Lilith was on her feet, but her body shook with the power aimed at her from Sam's hand. Blood spilled from her eyes as she was slammed with wave after wave of psychic energy. Dean's eyes shifted to the ceiling, his gaze falling onto a crack that ran through the devil's trap. He had the answer to his unspoken question. Dean's gaze trailed to Sam and his heart filled with dread and terror.

Sam was on his knees, one hand out before him and one clutched tightly to his forehead. To Dean's horror, he realized that Sam was bleeding from his nose, his eyes and his ears. The rumble from the combined powers being volleyed between the adversaries nearly drowned out the screams that Sam let loose as he was struck by the invisible blows, but it wasn't enough to drown them out completely.

Dean nearly jumped out of his skin when he was grabbed by his shoulders and spun around. He eased his stance slightly when Bobby's face loomed before him. Bobby was shouting, but Dean was having a hard time hearing him over the rumble and Sam's screams.

"What!?" he hollered back before glancing over his shoulder at his struggling brother.

"I said…we need to even out the playing field!" Bobby shouted back.

Dean returned his gaze to Bobby. "How!?" he screamed.

"We take out Alastair! Shouldn't be too hard…Sam's weakened him…"

"You're right! Let's take the son of a bitch out for good!" Dean cried.

Both men started toward the downed demon, but staggered as another tremor shook the foundation. Both Lilith and Sam screamed this time, and Bobby and Dean could see Alastair's mouth wide open, but no sound came out, his ruined throat not allowing it.

"Bobby…we gotta hurry! Sam can't last much longer!" Dean shouted.

Bobby nodded and started for the demon again, Dean hot on his heels. Alastair was so engrossed in keeping his sights on Sam that he didn't even realize the two hunters were in the basement until they were on top of him. He screeched out furiously and tried to throw them off, but between the torture he had endured with Dean and the psychic beating he had taken from Sam, the demon was no match for the seriously pissed off hunters.

Bobby quickly doused Alastair with holy water then grabbed his head and pulled him around until his chest was opened up for Dean. Dean wasted no time in burying Ruby's knife deep into the demon's chest. He pulled the knife out as Alastair's body began to jerk. Crackling sparks shot from his host's eyes and mouth as the demon within was destroyed. Finally, in a blinding flash of orange yellow light, the body dropped limply to the concrete floor, eyes and mouth smoking from the burning damage within. Dean toed the shoulder of the dead host, his face a mask of coldness. Dean was thankful that this time, the knife worked.

"That's for my Sammy you piece of shit!" he growled before turning to the frightening scene behind him.

Both Sam and Lilith were on their knees now, each sending out everything they had at the other. Suddenly, Sam was lifted from the floor and thrown through the air. He connected with sickening force against the wall behind him and slid bonelessly to the floor. Lilith stood on shaky legs and started toward him, intent on claiming her prize.

Dean lunged forward and buried the demon killing knife in the hosts shoulder. Lilith spun, a shrill shriek tearing from her lips as the house once more began to shake. Both Dean and Bobby were flung back to the far wall, their bodies pressed tightly against the concrete. They struggled valiantly to free themselves, but they nary gained even a fraction of an inch. Lilith laughed as she turned back toward Sam, but her triumph was short lived as she realized Sam had regained his bearings and was glaring at her with such intense hatred and fury it made her take a step back.

"You're finished Lilith," Sam hissed, his breathing irregular and obviously painful. "Alastair's dead and you can't beat me on your own."

"You should look at yourself Sammy," Lilith mocked, even as the fear blossomed inside her. "Even if you do win, you probably won't survive."

"As long as y-you're dead and c-can't harm my family anymore…it'll b-be worth it," Sam spat, clearly in agony, but refusing to give in.

Sam cast a quick glance to his brother and friend and offered a small smile before once again turning hate filled eyes onto Lilith. He thrust his hand out before him and Lilith screamed in agony as she was blasted over and over again. She sent out her own pulsating shock waves and Sam cried out, but he never eased his assault. In one final blast of energy that nearly shook the old house off it's foundation, Lilith was ripped from her host, a deafening scream tearing from the poor woman's mouth as the demon smoke poured from her.

The body collapsed as the last of the smoke was pulled from it. In a brilliant flash of blinding light, the demon smoke that was Lilith burst into white flames before disappearing all together. Dean and Bobby were released from the wall and they staggered as their feet hit the floor. The rumbling stopped and both men turned awed eyes onto the youngest hunter. Sam stared back, his mouth hanging open in shock as realization that Lilith was dead dawned on him.

"You did it, Sammy," Dean said, his eyes moving to the still body of the woman host before turning back to Sam.

Sam remained speechless as he watched Bobby drop down next to the woman and press his fingers to her neck. Bobby looked up and shook his head sadly. Sam swallowed against the emotions raging inside him. Bobby stood and stepped next to Dean and the two men started toward Sam. Sam's sudden gasp froze the men where they stood and they watched as the younger man's eyes rolled back in his head and he dropped like a rock to the cold cement floor. Dean sprang forward and dropped next to his brother, gently grasping his shoulders and rolling him onto his back. Bobby was there a second later and he kneeled on the other side of the unconscious man.

"Sam…Sammy, wake up!" Dean pled as he softly tapped Sam's cheek.

Bobby sucked in a shocked breath as he noticed that more blood had begun to ooze from Sam's ears and nose. Dean noticed too and reached his arms around his baby brother, pulling the stricken young man up from the floor and to his chest. He brushed his fingers through Sam's sweat soaked hair and stared down upon his lax face. Tears spilled from his eyes as the fear that his brother could die overwhelmed him.

"No Sammy…don't leave me. Not again. You can't…not after all of this. You won Sam. You beat her. You can't die…you can't leave me," Dean cried as he rocked Sam softly.

Bobby watched on sadly as Dean rocked his brother. He glanced around at the destruction in his basement, but found he couldn't care less. A very important member of his family could be dying and nothing else mattered at the moment. A heartbroken sob brought his attention back to the brothers just in time to see Dean lift his eyes upward, anger simmering in their green depths.

"Castiel! Come on you son of a bitch! The fight is over…you can show yourself!" Dean screamed, all the anguish and sorrow he felt spilling forth in his voice. "Save him Castiel. You owe him. Save him…please."

A sudden fluttering, much like the sound of birds wings filled the air around them and in an instant, Castiel stood over them, his eyes gazing intently at the dying hunter in Dean's arms. He kneeled gracefully beside Sam and laid his hand tenderly on the young man's head. He closed his eyes and began to pray, his voice soft and barely audible. After several minutes he opened his eyes and glanced up at the expectant faces of Dean and Bobby.

"Cas…is he…will he…" Dean started, his voice hitching.

"I've done what I can Dean. It is up to our Father now. Sam's life is in His hands," the angel answered softly.

Dean lowered his eyes to Sam's face, noting that at least the bleeding had stopped and Sam's breathing sounded less labored. He tenderly brushed his fingers over Sam's cheek and smiled warmly.

"You're gonna be fine Sam. I know you are," he whispered as he softly kissed Sam's hair.

Dean looked up and smiled at Bobby's shocked expression. "If you ever mention this to Sammy old man, I'll hunt you down," he warned with a chuckle.

Bobby shook his head and slowly pushed to his feet, his joints cracking with the movement. "I'm getting too old for this shit," he muttered as he straightened. "Come on kiddo, let's get your brother up into bed."

With Bobby's and Castiel's help, Dean stood from the floor, bringing Sam up with him and clutching him to his chest. Despite Sam's size, Dean had little difficulty carrying him. The kid had lost weight somehow and Dean vowed that once Sam was back on his feet, he would fatten the stubborn little geek up. The two hunters and the angel ascended the stairs, their attention fully on the unconscious man in Dean's arms. Finally, they were back in Sam's room and Sam was quickly, but gently tucked into bed. Dean immediately took up residency on the chair next to the bed, refusing to leave Sam alone.

Castiel moved to stand against the wall near the doorway, intent on watching over both Winchesters. Bobby stood behind Dean for several minutes before he turned to leave the room. He nodded at Castiel as he stepped through the doorway. He cast one more glance toward the brothers, smiling warmly as he watched Dean take Sam's hand. He could hear Dean whisper softly to his brother, but couldn't make out what he was saying. Bobby sent up a silent prayer to bring Sam back to them then turned away, leaving Dean and the angel to watch over their beloved family member.

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**So, that's it for now. At least there's no evil cliffy...well, maybe a little bit of one. Please let me know what you think. More tomorrow.**

**Cindy.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay, schmoopy chapter coming up! Thought you all could use a break from the drama. Hope you like it.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean stumbled clumsily into Bobby's kitchen with one thought in his head. Coffee, and lots of it. Bobby looked up from the paper he was reading and acknowledged Dean with a surprised quirk of his eyebrow.

"Need coffee," Dean mumbled as he reached for a mug.

Bobby nodded as he watched the younger man with a critical eye. "What ya need is sleep," he quipped.

"I sleep…but, Sammy needs me," Dean said quietly in reply.

"You don't sleep enough…and yeah, Sam needs you. He needs you well rested and healthy. How is he by the way?" Bobby grumbled disapprovingly.

"I slept Bobby. Got in a good six hours. And Sam's the same. Hasn't woken up yet. Cas is keeping an eye on him for me," Dean answered as he sat at the table, steaming mug in hand.

"Well, then it's a good time for you to eat something. I'll make ya a sandwich," Bobby said, rising from the chair and heading for the fridge.

Dean nodded his thanks and took a long swallow of the hot, strong coffee. "It's been two days Bobby. Maybe we should take Sam to the hospital," Dean said, his words thick with worry.

"And what could they do Dean? He needs rest and he can get that better here than anywhere else. Castiel said it's in God's hands now. Why don't we just give Sam a chance to recover," Bobby answered.

"Doesn't seem like God's been on Sam's side very much, Bobby. His whole life, everything has gone against him."

"Yeah, I know that, Dean, but look how strong it's made him. If things had been easier on him, do you think he could have withstood what he went through? Could he have defeated Lilith? Dean, the struggles we have in life are what make us stronger."

Bobby set a plate containing two sandwiches before Dean then he took his seat again. Dean sat for a moment in contemplation before he looked up at the older man.

"Bobby..do you think Sam can get past what happened to him down there? I mean…I know how long it took me, is still taking me actually. What he went through though. I…I don't know how he could get over that," Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I don't really think he can get over it completely, Dean. The rapes…Alastair wearing your daddy's face. But…he will get to a point where it won't consume him. It may come up from time to time, but he's strong. Plus, he has you, Dean. He has us. Just like you had him, he'll have you," Bobby replied, his hand grasping Dean's forearm reassuringly.

Dean smiled sadly then brushed his hand through his unkempt hair. "God Bobby…I'm just so frickin' worried about him. Shit…I don't even know if he's gonna wake up!"

Bobby squeezed lightly on Dean's arm and made sure he had his attention. When Dean was fully focused on the older man, Bobby spoke. "He'll be fine Dean. I have no doubt that he will wake up. He's sure to be rewarded for the sacrifices he's made. You just need to be patient and give him time."

"I know Bobby. It's just hard. I mean, he looks better and Cas keeps reassuring me, but until he opens his eyes…until I can talk to him…" Dean started, his eyes dropping to his yet to be touched lunch.

"I understand. You know how I feel about you boys, and that one…well, he kinda grows on ya. Big lug that he is, ya still want to protect him. Just…just keep the faith, Dean. When he's ready, he'll wake up. You'll be wishing soon enough that he'll shut up," Bobby said with a chuckle.

"God, I hope you're right Bobby. I miss him," Dean replied.

"I know Dean. Me too. Now…eat up 'fore you keel over."

Dean looked down at his plate then back to his friend and surrogate father. "Do you mind if I take this upstairs? I kinda need to get back," he queried apologetically.

"Figured ya did. Now git back up there to your brother. And you eat all of that Dean, ya hear me?" Bobby instructed, shaking his head with amusement when Dean grabbed up the plate and hurried toward the staircase.

Bobby turned his eyes upward and scrubbed a hand over his face. "You better wake up soon Sam. Don't know how much more that brother of yours can take. Don't really know how much more I can take," he said softly before returning his gaze to the paper he'd been reading.

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Castiel sat next to Sam's bedside, his intense gaze never straying from the young hunter's face. He reached a hand out and rested it on Sam's chest, closing his eyes as he concentrated on the soft thump of the sleeping man's heart. He moved his hand up to cup Sam's cheek, his touch tender. Castiel opened his eyes and looked toward the doorway to find Dean standing there, a plate piled with sandwiches, his eyebrow arched as he stared at the scene. Castiel smiled warmly as he stood and turned toward the hunter.

"Sam will be waking soon, Dean," the angel said softly.

Dean's eyes widened, as he rushed forward. "Are you serious? He's gonna wake up? How do you know?" Dean queried excitedly.

"He told me."

"What? What do you mean he told you?"

"His heart…his mind. He's been here all along. He just needed a break from everything."

Dean glanced at Sam and could swear he felt something different about his brother. Over the past days as he watched over Sam, it almost felt like Sam's body was present, but nothing else. Now, it seemed as though there was more than just a warm body occupying the bed and Dean felt his spirits brighten. He smiled with relief at Castiel before moving to sit on the chair next to the bed. He glanced at Sam then looked up only to find that Castiel had disappeared.

Dean turned back to Sam and watched him closely before he realized he still held the plate of sandwiches Bobby had made for him. Remembering Bobby's command, Dean picked up one sandwich and took a bite, not realizing until that moment just how hungry he was. It only took a few moments for the sandwich to be gone and Dean was just reaching for the second when a soft moan from the bed stopped all movement on his part. Dean placed the plate on the bedside table then leaned forward and watched as Sam's head slowly rolled from side to side on his pillow.

"Hey Sammy…open your eyes. I'm here kiddo. Open your eyes," Dean instructed as he reached his fingers out and brushed them over Sam's warm cheek.

Sam turned into the touch and moaned again as his eyelids fluttered in an attempt to open. Dean continued to softly caress Sam's cheek, trying to coax him awake. After a few moments he was rewarded as tired, hazel eyes blinked open and stared up at him. Dean sagged with relief as he gazed upon his brother's face. He moved his hand around to cup the side of Sam's head, his fingers brushing through long, tangled hair.

"Oh thank God, Sammy. Oh my God…I thought…shit Sam," Dean stammered.

"D'n?" Sam whispered, his eyes not quite in focus yet.

"Yeah kiddo, it's me. How ya feeling?" Dean replied.

"Mmmmmm…stiff…" Sam groaned.

"Yeah, I'll bet. You haven't moved a muscle for two days Sam."

Sam gazed up and eyed Dean closely. "You 'kay D'n?" he asked, his voice weak and hoarse.

"What? Of course I'm okay Sammy. You're the one who nearly gave yourself an aneurysm, not me," Dean answered incredulously.

"Lilith…threw you 'n Bobby…"

"We're fine Sam. The bitch didn't hurt us…you made sure of that."

"'m tired Dean," Sam whispered with a relieved smile.

"Okay…okay Sammy. Sleep. I'll be right here if you need me."

"Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy?"

"They dead?"

"Lilith and Alastair? Yeah, they're dead Sam. They can't hurt you or anyone else ever again."

Sam nodded weakly as his eyes slowly closed. "Good," he whispered as sleep claimed him once more.

Dean pulled his hand away from Sam's head and closed his eyes, breathing in a deep breath before exhaling. He brushed his hand over his face then opened his eyes to gaze upon Sam again.

"Thank you…whomever…for bringing him back to me. Thank you so much," Dean said quietly as he settled into his chair.

Dean was so intent on watching Sam that he didn't notice Bobby standing in the doorway, a smile on his lips as he watched the brothers. Bobby nodded his head and sent up a prayer of thanks. He turned and headed back down the hallway, leaving Dean to do what he did best. What he was born to do.

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**Schmoopity, schmoopity schmoop!! And look Ma...no evil cliffy! Sam's awake, Dean's eating, Bobby's...Bobby. Alls good with the world...for now. More coming tomorrow.**

**Cindy.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Here is the next chapter for you all. Not as much schmoop, but a bit of attitude from our Sammy. I hope you like it.**

**Cindy.**

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Sam sat gazing out over the front yard of Bobby's property, taking in deep breaths of fresh, cool air. He'd been cooped up inside for so long he'd almost forgotten what fresh air smelled like. It'd taken him over two weeks to regain enough strength to even get downstairs and today was the first day Dean had allowed him outside. He felt all of five years old again with the way Dean fussed over him, making sure a light throw blanket was tucked around him so he didn't, in Dean's words "Catch a chill." Sam had looked at him like he was crazy before he had asked him when the hell he'd starting talking like that, to which Dean had merely shrugged his shoulders and thrown him a sheepish grin.

Sam had asked Dean to get him something to eat and at first Dean had balked at the idea of leaving his supposed invalid little brother all by his lonesome on the porch, open and vulnerable to any kind of supernatural attack. Sam had come back with a threat of his own supernatural attack if Dean didn't stop hovering and treating him like a child. Dean had raised an eyebrow, but had relented when Sam had insisted he was fine, that he'd be fine for a few minutes on his own and that for God's sake, he wasn't dying. So that's where he was now, sitting in the rocking chair on Bobby's porch, all snug in his blanket, waiting for Dean to emerge with probably enough food to feed five grown men because apparently, according to Dean, Sam was wasting away and even a slightly strong breeze would surely blow him right into the next county.

Sam relaxed back in the chair, a large sigh escaping as he smiled softly. As much as Dean was driving him completely batty, Sam really wasn't mad at all, just slightly annoyed. He understood how Dean felt, how absolutely terrified his brother had been and so it was with lighthearted exasperation that he let Dean know it was okay to give him just a little space. Dean was really trying too and Sam knew how hard that was for him, to let Sam out of his sight. God, but didn't Sam love his brother a little bit more with each passing minute.

Sam sat forward a bit, sensing rather than seeing a presence in the trees to the right of the porch and the hairs stood up on the back of his neck as he became certain that the presence was of a demonic nature. Sam huffed an irritated breath when Ruby emerged from the trees and strolled confidently up to the porch before climbing the stairs and moving to stand in front of the seated man.

"Ruby…what the hell are you doing here?" Sam questioned angrily as the demon crossed her arms over her torso.

"That's not a very nice welcome, Sam," Ruby snapped, glaring down at the smirking hunter.

"No worse than your farewell the night the hounds came for me," Sam retorted. "Dean told me what you said, Ruby," he added when Ruby arched an eyebrow curiously.

"Oh, well…that was to piss Dean off more than anything, Sam. I really missed you, you know," the demon said as she reached her hand out and trailed her fingers longingly down Sam's cheek.

"Get your filthy hands off my brother, bitch!" an angry voice shouted from the open doorway to the house.

Ruby pulled back and turned amused eyes Dean's way, a sneer curling her lip. "We were just getting caught up, shortbus. What's your problem anyway?" she growled.

"My problem is you being anywhere near Sam so step back before I rip you apart!" Dean hissed as he moved toward Sam and the demon.

Ruby lifted her hands in mock surrender and moved a few steps away from Sam, who wearily cast his gaze from one adversary to the other. He wasn't sure if he was strong enough yet to take Ruby out if she threatened Dean, but he wouldn't hesitate in trying if it meant keeping his brother safe. Dean quickly stepped between Sam and Ruby and set the plate he had been carrying on the small table next to Sam's chair. He glanced over his shoulder at his brother before turning his gaze back onto Ruby.

"Sam, get in the house," Dean instructed, his eyes never leaving the dark haired demon before him.

"No, Dean. I'm not leaving you," Sam answered as he pushed the blanket from his legs and stood shakily up behind his brother.

"Sam…this isn't up for discussion. Get in the house…now!"

"Dean…"

"Oh for fucks sake, Dean! What do you think he is? A five year old you can boss around whenever you want? He's a grown man so why don't **_you_** go in the house and let us talk in peace!?" Ruby spat.

"Shut up, Ruby!" both brothers hissed simultaneously.

Ruby eyed them both and rolled her eyes. "Look…I just came here to check on him and do some catching up."

"No, Ruby…you came here to mess with him some more. And maybe to get into his pants again…"

"Dean!" Sam cried indignantly.

"Well! She's not here for anything good, Sam. She doesn't give a shit about you…only what she can use you for."

"I know, Dean," Sam said softly as he moved around his brother to stand before Ruby. "You need to leave, Ruby," he instructed evenly.

"And if I don't?" the demon queried defiantly.

"If you don't, I'll dispense of you like I did Lilith," Sam stated.

Ruby's eyes widened and she glared fearfully up at the towering hunter. "You wouldn't do that. I saved your life, Sam. I kept you from getting lonely…"

"Oh for fuck's sake! Get the hell out of here, Ruby!" Dean spat with disgust.

Ruby stood her ground as she stared up at Sam's face. Sam turned his eyes on Dean before returning them back to Ruby.

"I've already thanked you for saving my life. The rest of it…the rest of it meant nothing. That was just me dealing with my grief and loneliness. You just happened to be the closest warm body…well…you know what I mean…"

"So…our time together didn't mean anything? You…"

"I used you like you used me. Nothing more. Lilith is dead, just like you wanted. There's no reason for you to be here anymore."

Dean shuffled restlessly behind Sam, and the taller man reached back and brushed his fingers reassuringly against his brother's arm. Dean's movement quieted as he stood tall and defiant behind his brother, ready to make a move if need be. Ruby glared at Sam angrily as the man stood firm and proud before her.

"I may have more use of you, Sam," she said.

"No, Ruby. We're done. You leave now and I'll let you live. Consider it repayment for my life. If I see you again, I won't hesitate in killing you. You stay away from me and you stay away from Dean and Bobby. If you think I won't do it, just try me," Sam said, his eyes conveying the seriousness of his words.

Ruby stepped back, the fear returning as she realized that Sam meant business. "Fine," she huffed as she moved toward the steps. "We could have accomplished a lot together, Sam."

"I don't need you to accomplish what has to be done, Ruby. I have Dean and Bobby. Now go while you still can."

Ruby shook her head and stomped down the steps, brushing briskly by Bobby who had appeared from around the side of the house, his eyes wide at the conversation he had walked in on. Ruby stormed across the yard and disappeared into the trees just as Bobby's feet landed on the porch floor.

"What the heck was that bitch doing here?" he queried as he eyed the brothers.

"Just thinking she and Sam could pick up where they left off," Dean spat with disgust.

Sam turned toward Dean and the older brother quickly reached out when the younger began to sway. Dean grasped Sam's arm and guided him back to the chair, Bobby moving behind to help if need be. Once Sam was safely seated, Dean retrieved the blanket and tucked it around his trembling brother.

"Are you okay, Sammy? What's wrong?" he queried fearfully.

"I'm fine, Dean. Just got a little lightheaded is all," Sam answered, his voice suddenly sounding very tired.

"Yeah? Well if you'd eat more you wouldn't get so weak," Dean admonished. "Speaking of," he muttered as he picked the plate containing a sandwich and apple slices up and handed it to Sam.

Sam took the plate and smiled appreciatively. "Man, I'm glad she left 'cause I don't think I could have taken her out quite yet," he said softly.

"I would've handled her, Sam. Now eat,' Dean said sternly.

"Thanks, Dean," Sam whispered before picking up the sandwich and taking a bite.

Dean nodded approvingly as he sat back on the railing, watching as Sam made quick work of the lunch he had prepared. Once Sam finished, he yawned widely and stretched his arms over his head as his eyes began to droop. Dean pushed off the railing and smiled at Bobby as the older man looked on. He walked to Sam and pulled the blanket from him.

"Come on, Sammy. Let's get you inside so you can rest," Dean said as he grasped Sam's arm and helped him up.

Bobby moved to open the door for the brothers, following behind and shutting the door once they were all inside. Dean guided Sam to the couch and once the taller man was settled, he spread the blanket over him. Even breaths ghosted from Sam's lips as he slipped into a deep slumber and Dean reached down to tenderly brush stray strands of chocolate hair from his closed eyes. He motioned for Bobby to follow him into the kitchen and once more sandwiches were made, both men sat at the table, speaking in hushed tones so as not to wake the youngest member of their family.

"So…Ruby huh?" Bobby started, not really sure what to say.

"Yeah. The bitch sure has a lot of nerve showing up here," Dean answered, anger flaring in his green eyes.

"So what do we do? You think she'll be back?" Bobby queried.

"Probably. I don't think she can stay away from him," Dean replied, his eyes moving to look through the doorway to fall upon his sleeping brother.

"He'll be okay, Dean. You heard him. He sounded pretty serious."

"Yeah. I don't know though. He feels he owes her. I just don't want her to get her claws into him again. She had him so messed up before."

"She won't get to him again, Dean. I'm sure Sam will follow through with his threat."

"I hope so. But, just in case…let's keep her knife handy. She shows her face again…she dies…"

Bobby nodded and picked up a sandwich, smiling when Dean did the same. The men ate in silence as they pondered the day's events. They would need to be vigilant in watching over Sam as it was apparent the young man was still too weak to protect himself properly. Dean's thoughts turned suddenly to Castiel as he still had questions that needed to be answered. But, that could wait until another day.

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**So? Hopefully that was pleasing to everyone. I hope you will let me know. Well, we are winding down folks. Just two chapters left. Still a bit of drama to come, but don't worry...there'll be no blood. More tomorrow.**

**Cindy.**


	26. Chapter 26

**It's that time again. The first part of the chapter is a bit disturbing. I hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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"No…please…no," Sam cried softly, his head rolling restlessly on his pillow, sweat soaked hair sticking to his forehead as if glued in place.

Dean awoke, the sounds of Sam's distress pulling him instantly from a sound sleep. He pushed up from his bed, his legs swinging over the edge of the bed before the covers had even been pulled away. He was next to Sam's bed in an instant, his hand immediately reaching out to rest on his brother's fevered brow.

"Hey Sam…wake up kiddo," Dean coaxed as he gently shook Sam's shoulder.

Sam continued to cry out as tears began to trail lazily down his flushed cheeks. "Nononononono…" he chanted, his voice filled with anguish that tore at Dean's heart.

"Sammy, please…please wake up. It's just a nightmare. I'm here…I've gotcha," Dean pled, unable to stand to hear the hurt in his baby brother's voice.

Sam's eyes darted open as he suddenly screamed, his tone this time filled with unimaginable pain. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Uhnnnn…God…" he gasped, his eyes flitting fearfully around the darkened room.

Sam flinched violently when Dean cupped the back of his neck, his wide eyes flying to Dean's shocked face. His breathing bordered on hyperventilation before he finally started to calm as recognition finally spread over him. "D-D'n?" he whispered hopefully, his hands reaching out to grasp at Dean's free arm.

"Yeah Sammy…it's me. You're safe…I'm here…they can't hurt you anymore," Dean answered as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled his brother's trembling form to him.

Soft sobs shook Sam's body as he buried his face in the crook of Dean's neck. Dean held his brother tight, refusing to deny him the comfort he needed. Sam's sobs subsided into small hiccups and he collapsed tiredly into his protector's embrace. Dean rested his cheek on Sam's head, the soft hair tickling his nose as he softly whispered to the distraught young man.

"Was it Mom and Dad?" Dean asked as he pulled slightly away from Sam, his hands not giving up their protective hold.

Sam looked up with wet, glistening eyes and shook his head slowly. "N-no…not Mom and D-Dad. J-Jess…" he whispered softly.

Dean bit back a curse as his heart filled with pain for his little brother. He had hoped that the demons would leave that little part of Sam's life alone, but he knew that was asking way too much. He had held out hope only because Sam had never come out and told him that she had been used as a way to break him. Of course they had used Jess. They'd done everything else to Sam while wearing his loved ones faces, why not Jess? Dean's anger grew as he imagined what they could have used Jess for. His eyes softened as he looked at Sam. His brother needed comfort and understanding, not a raging big brother.

"Shit, Sammy. I'm so sorry. Tell me about it?" Dean queried, wanting to help his brother and knowing the only way he could was to know what they had done.

Sam swallowed, his hazel eyes taking on a distant look for a moment. He pulled away from Dean and pushed himself up to rest against the headboard of his bed. Dean sat forward and pulled the pillows from behind Sam's back then gently took Sam's shoulder and pulled him forward before placing the pillows behind him. He eased Sam back, nodding as Sam smiled softly. Sam's eyes fell to his hands that lay fidgeting nervously on his lap. Tears once again began to trail down his cheeks and he lifted one hand up to wipe absently at the wetness on his face. He looked up to find Dean gazing patiently at him and he sighed heavily before beginning to speak.

_Alastair pulled away from Sam's suspended, sweat soaked body. He eased around until he stood to the tormented man's right then he leaned in and ran his vile tongue up Sam's arm, licking a trail through the blood that coated his skin. Alastair snickered as Sam gazed at him with hate and loathing, the young man unable to mask the pain and shame he felt at once again being violated so cruelly. Sam closed his eyes, willing himself to fall away into the blackness that always followed a round of torture, but he was denied that escape as a sharp slap stung his cheek and his eyes flew open to stare at his tormentor._

_"Uh-uh, Sammy boy. I'm not quite done with you yet. There's someone who wants to see you. Has a bit of a bone to pick I'd say," the demon hissed, a short chuckle following his hateful words._

_Sam stared at the vile creature, his body trembling with fatigue and unbridled anger. Movement to his right pulled his attention away from the demon and he gasped as the familiar figure came into view, long blonde curls flowing loosely around the beautiful face. Sam swallowed as the girl came to stand before him, hands on her hips, an unrecognizable sneer curling her perfect lips._

_"J-Jess?" he whispered, longing mixing with pain as he continued to stare at his long dead lover._

_"Well, well, well… I never thought I'd get the chance to see you again, Sam," Jessica said, her slender fingers lifting to brush softly over the tortured man's lips._

_"Jess…I…I'm sorry. I'm s-so sorry…" Sam said, his voice soft and filled with remorse._

_Jessica suddenly reached around and grabbed a handful of Sam's hair, pulling it painfully as her mouth turned up into another hateful sneer. "You don't get to apologize, Sam! You let me die, stuck to that ceiling, bleeding…and then the fire! You just laid there and stared before you let your brother pull you to safety while you left me there to burn!" she screamed as she suddenly let go of Sam's hair and raked her fingernails over his cheek, drawing four thin lines of blood._

_"I c-couldn't save you…I tried…I…"_

_"You didn't try! You knew it was going to happen! You didn't warn me…you left me alone to go traipsing around with your brother! I died because of you, Sam…and you know what? You weren't worth it. You didn't deserve me."_

_"I-I know. I'm s-sorry, Jess. It was my f-fault…I know that."_

_"You know what the kicker is though? I died because of you and I didn't even love you," Jess started, turning her head and smiling as Alastair handed her a long, slightly curved knife._

_"No…please…no," Sam cried softly, his eyes pleading with the girl to take it back._

_"Yes Sam. I was only with you because you were so smart and I needed help with my studies. I had other boyfriends…lots of other guys. Dean was right when he said I was way out of your league, Sam. You weren't worth anything. You were nothing to me but the answers I could get for my classes."_

_"Nononononono…"_

_Jessica raised the knife, digging it into the flesh over Sam's sternum and dragging it down to just below his navel. She smiled menacingly up at him before plunging the knife deep into his belly and ripping up until it stopped at his ribs. Blood spewed from the wound and over Sam's lips as he screamed, his eyes wide as he stared into Jessica's hate filled face._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Uhnnnn…God…" he gasped as the light began to fade from his eyes._

_The last thing Sam saw before everything went black was Jessica and Alastair embracing, their mouths locked in an ungodly kiss before they turned to him and laughed as he choked on his own blood._

Dean stared at Sam, his eyes wide with shock as Sam collapsed back into his pillows, new sobs wracking his body. "Oh my God, Sammy. You have to know that wasn't her," Dean said softly, his heart breaking as he watched Sam fall apart in front of him.

"No, Dean. It was her. I'm s-sure it was her. N-not only did I kill her…but, I condemned her to hell too," Sam cried brokenly.

Dean leaned forward and took Sam's face between his hands, making sure the younger man was looking at him before he spoke. "Sammy…Jess loved you, of that I'm certain. I could see that the night I came to take you to look for Dad. I know that wasn't Jess because she would never betray you like that. She would never blame you for what happened."

Sam pulled away, his hand moving to absently run up and down the phantom wound that Jess's knife had left. "Why wouldn't she, Dean? It's true! I killed her! I didn't tell her about my dreams. I didn't do anything about them…just ignored them. I left her there, alone and unprotected! I betrayed her!" the broken man cried, his arms wrapping tightly around his body as he began to rock back and forth.

"God, Sam…it wasn't her! It wasn't Jess. You have to believe that. You didn't know the dreams were visions, Sam. How could you know they would come true?"

Sam shook his head, his hands coming up to cover his ears. His sobs turned to gasps as he started to hyperventilate and Dean shot forward in a panic, grabbing Sam and cupping his face again, rubbing comfortingly as he coaxed his baby brother to calm down. Sam's breathing only became more desperate, more labored and Dean suddenly screamed for Bobby. Bobby instantly rushed into the room and Dean surmised he must have been awakened by Sam's earlier screams and had been standing outside the room, listening to Sam's heartbreaking confession.

"He can't breathe, Bobby! Call 911! Please, Bobby…please!" Dean cried frantically.

Bobby looked at Dean and rushed from the room, returning a few moments later and hurrying to Sam's bed. "Here, Dean…make him breathe into that," the older man said as he shoved a paper bag into Dean's trembling hands.

"Wh-what?" Dean stammered as he looked blankly at the bag.

"An ambulance would never make it here in time, Dean. He needs to calm down. Make him breathe into the bag…get him to calm down," Bobby instructed as he moved to rub his hand over Sam's hunched back, the wheezing sounds of Sam's breathing causing him great concern.

Dean nodded and pushed the open end of the bag up over Sam's nose and mouth. Sam reached up and grasped Dean's wrists, his wide eyes staring helplessly at his brother as his vision began to fade. Dean's calming voice broke through his panic and he began to take as deep of breaths as he could into the bag, the paper crackling as he breathed in and out.

"That's it Sammy…just breathe… deep, even breaths. You're gonna be okay…I've gotcha…I'm not gonna let you go, Sammy," Dean said, breathing with his brother, calming himself as he calmed Sam.

Finally, Sam's breathing was under control and Dean gently eased him back against his pillows, the younger man's eyes glazed over with exhaustion. Bobby moved back a step and ran a shaky hand through his thin, unkempt hair. He stared down as Dean pulled Sam's blanket up over his brother's lap, the older sibling whispering softly to the trembling younger man. Sam's eyes began to droop and Dean reached forward to help guide him down until he lay flat on the bed. Bobby moved to straighten Sam's pillows beneath his head, smiling as the young hunter turned onto his side and slid his hand underneath his cheek. Both older men watched, finally relaxing as Sam's breaths evened out as sleep claimed him. Dean brushed his hand over his face then turned his gaze up to Bobby.

"Shit, Bobby," he said shakily, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Poor kid. I wish we could kill that bastard all over again!" the older man seethed as his eyes moved to the sleeping Winchester.

"I know…me too. He must have blocked those memories. That's why the nightmare hit him so hard. God, Bobby. He believes it really was Jess. What's worse…I think he still believes it was Dad and Mom too. He has so much guilt about all of them. I'm so fucking worried about him," Dean said, his voice low so as not to wake his exhausted brother.

"He'll be okay, Dean. He'll figure out that it wasn't them," Bobby replied softly.

"I don't know. I hope he does, but I…I just don't know."

"Well, he's sleeping now. Why don't you try and get a few more hours in."

"I can't sleep now, Bobby. Gotta watch over him, wake him if it starts up again. You go get some more sleep though."

"Naw…I'm awake now, might as well stay that way. I'll go put some coffee on. I'll bring you a cup. You want anything to eat?"

"No, coffee's fine for now. Thanks, Bobby."

Bobby nodded and left the brothers, Dean smiling warmly at the sound of the older man's bare feet padding down the hall. He turned his attention back on Sam, watching for any signs of distress. He carefully climbed over Sam's body and lay down behind him as he draped an arm protectively over him, hoping the touch would keep the nightmares at bay. When Bobby returned fifteen minutes later, he found two sleeping brothers, one curled into a tight ball, the other curled around him as if to shelter him from any harm. Bobby smiled affectionately then reached for the blanket from Dean's bed. He covered both brothers and with one last look, he left the room, closing the door silently behind him.

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Sam sat silently on the couch, his brother sitting near enough next to him so that their shoulders were touching. Bobby sat in the armchair to their right and Castiel stood in front of the fireplace, his blue eyes gazing intently at the brothers. Dean leaned forward and picked up the coffee cup that sat on the coffee table before him. He took a long gulp then set the cup down again. He cleared his throat and looked up at the silent angel.

"So, where's Uriel?" he queried.

"He was called back. Something about being needed elsewhere," Castiel answered evenly.

"Oh…huh. So…" Dean started, his eyes moving to his still silent sibling.

"You had questions for me. What are they?" the angel questioned.

"Yeah. I…uh…I want to know if it's over. I want to know if Sam is well and truly free now," Dean said, his eyes staring wide at Castiel.

Before Castiel could answer, Sam's soft voice sounded. "I'll never be free, Dean. There's still one more seal. There are plenty of demons to take Lilith's place."

"Maybe not, Sam. You don't know that for sure. Right, Cas?" Dean replied, his hand moving to softly squeeze Sam's knee.

"We have to keep that seal from being broken. If we don't, nothing will have mattered," Sam said, his voice sounding tired and lifeless.

"You are wrong, Sam," Castiel said as he moved to take a seat on the coffee table, facing the siblings.

"What? How is he wrong?" Bobby queried.

"As I told Dean, his breaking in hell was the first seal," the angel started, his eyes moving to Dean as the hunter lowered his eyes to the floor.

"Dean, don't…" Sam said, his arm moving over Dean's shoulders.

"I told you that it would be you who would have to stop the final seal from being broken, but…"

"But what? I started this whole ball rolling…how do we stop it now? Lilith's dead…"

"What I told you was the case, before Sam came to us with his plan for a deal," Castiel continued. "Tell me, why do you think Lilith was so open to accept Sam's deal? Why not just cleanse his blood? She didn't know at the time that his abilities were his and his alone. Why make the deal unless…"

"Unless what?" Dean asked with irritation when the angel paused.

"Unless she knew that the final seal would be broken if the psychic was broken."

"Wh-what?" Sam stammered, his eyes going wide.

"What are you saying Cas?" Dean asked, his heart suddenly hammering in his chest.

"I'm saying that Sam was the final seal. I'm saying that if Alastair had succeeded in breaking him, the seal would have been broken and the apocalypse would have been upon us. That's why Lilith was so eager. She had no doubt that Sam would break. She underestimated the bond between the two of you. She didn't realize that the bond would be strong enough to carry Sam through the four months."

Sam sat in stunned silence, his body listing slightly until he was leaning heavily on Dean's shoulder. The sudden revelation made him dizzy with the implications. He never realized just how much had been riding on him making it through his time in hell. Dean nudged him, smiling supportively when Sam turned his eyes his way. When Sam smiled back, Dean turned back to Castiel.

"So, if Sam was the final seal, then how could I have stopped the seal from being broken?" he asked, his stomach roiling nervously.

"By either stopping Sam from using his powers and if that didn't work…by killing him," the angel answered, lowering his eyes as the two older hunters gasped with shock.

"You said you never told me to kill Sammy and now you're saying that I may have had to? What the fuck, Cas!?" Dean cried, calming a bit when Sam grasped his forearm.

"I was trusting that you would be able to stop him and that killing him would not be necessary. Then he came to Uriel and I with his plan."

"Okay, but…there are plenty of demons. Couldn't another just take Lilith's place? I mean…they could still try to break me…some other way…" Sam queried softly, comforted when Dean moved closer to him, instantly protective.

"No…not without the demon blood running through your veins. That seal is no longer viable."

"There are other seals. There are vast numbers aren't there? Couldn't they just try to break another one?" Bobby asked.

"No, that 's not how it works. They have to start over now."

"Well, it didn't take them all that long to break the seals. Less than a year," Dean stated.

"There is no other demon, at this time, who can take Lilith's place. Alastair would have been the next in line. It will take centuries for them to get to this point again, just as it took centuries for them from the last time they tried to break the seals and failed."

"So…we don't have to worry about them coming for Sam again?" Dean asked hopefully.

"Well…the demons are very afraid of Sam now. They were afraid before, but had confidence that he could be turned. Now…without the demon blood, they know that won't happen. Most will stay as far away from him as possible. Others however…"

"Others may try to prove themselves…down there. Try to bring down the psychic who defeated Lilith," Sam whispered.

"Yes. But, you have your abilities and are now able to use them without the threat of turning dark. I must warn you though, the demon blood made you stronger, able to withstand the stress using the powers puts on your body. I think you know how weak using them can make you. Of course, you used them to destroy Lilith and Alastair while you were still recovering from your time in hell. You won't get that weak again, but you will still be weakened a bit each time you use them and will need time to recover each time too."

"So…we keep Sam from using the powers unless absolutely necessary. We did it before…we can do it again," Dean stated, his eyes moving to Sam.

"Like I said, most will stay away so I don't think you'll have too much of a problem."

"I hope you're right, Cas," Dean said.

"Don't worry, Dean. I will be keeping an eye out. I'll warn you if I sense any turmoil coming your way. Now, I must return. If I have answered all of your questions that is."

Sam stood as the angel did the same. He reached out his hand, taking the hand that Castiel offered. "Thank you. For everything you have done for us. I know you didn't have much faith in me," Sam said softly.

"I had more faith in you than you had in yourself, Sam," the angel replied with a smile.

Dean stood and took Castiel's hand, shaking it twice before letting go. "Thanks, Cas. Don't be a stranger."

"You'll see me every now and again," Castiel said.

He smiled once more, tipping his head in Bobby's direction before he disappeared before the hunter's startled eyes. Sam sighed and dropped back to the couch, running a hand through his thick mop of hair. Dean turned and looked down at him with concern.

"Wow. That was…wow…" he said softly.

Sam looked up, his hazel eyes wide. "Yeah…I know."

Bobby stood, loudly clearing his throat to get the brother's attention. "I'm gonna fix some lunch and you two are going to eat. That means you especially, Sam," the older hunter instructed.

"I could eat," Dean said, patting his belly and smiling at the man.

"And you, Sam?" Bobby queried, both older men gazing down at the youngest.

Sam smiled up at Bobby and he nodded. "I am a bit hungry. Thanks, Bobby."

Bobby nodded approvingly and headed for the kitchen. Dean started after him, turning to look at his brother over his shoulder, relieved when Sam smiled warmly at him. Once the two hunters were in the kitchen and sounds of a meal being prepared could be heard, Sam collapsed back into to the cushions of the couch and took a deep breath. His smile disappeared as his thoughts moved to darker things. Without his brother and friend there to watch him, he allowed the sorrow and grief to take over again. He rested his head back against the seat back and closed his eyes. He felt that he would never feel free again. Regardless of how many times Dean and Bobby insisted that what he had been put through in hell was solely the work of the demons, he knew without a doubt that the things that had been revealed to him were true. He knew that his father, mother and former lover truly hated him. Almost as much as he hated himself.

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**Okay, what do you think? There is one chapter left and I actually have not finished it yet, but I promise it will be ready for tomorrows post. I plan to finish it tonight so I can post it on tonight and then here tomorrow. I hope to see you all there.**

**Cindy.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Well, this is it. The final chapter. I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support on this story. I know how hard some of the chapters were to read because they were torture to write (no pun intended). I want to thank mguto75 for giving me the idea for part of this chapter. I really was having a hard time coming up with a way to help Sam, and the idea given to me was just what the doctor ordered. Anyway, I'll let you get to the story. I hope you enjoy.**

**Cindy.**

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Dean turned his head as Bobby stepped up beside him, the older man handing the younger a cold beer, both turning their gazes out over the forest that bordered Bobby's back lot.

"He out there again?" Bobby asked, his eyes moving over the expanse of trees with concern.

"Yeah. Took a walk 'bout two hours ago. Wish I knew where he went," Dean answered softly.

"He's gonna be fine, Dean. He just needs time," Bobby said, knowing how hollow those words would sound to the older Winchester brother.

"I don't know, Bobby. I'm not so sure of that anymore. He's drifting further away. He just seems so depressed. I know it's about what Alastair said to him. I know he still believes it was Dad, Mom…Jess. He really thinks Dad didn't want him…and with how Dad acted sometimes…I can't really blame him," Dean said, his voice sounding so sad and lost to Bobby's ears.

"He'll come around, Dean. You just keep doin' what you're doin' and he'll come around."

"I…I found him with his gun the other day…" Dean started, his words tapering off into almost a sob.

"What? That could be anything, Dean."

"He was just sitting on his bed, holding the gun in his lap…just staring at it. He looked so sad...so lost. When I asked what he was doing, he just kinda looked at me with this weird look on his face before he came up with some lame excuse for why he had it."

"Shit! That damn little idjit!" Bobby said under his breath.

"When he went out today, I went through all of our stuff…yours too, just to make sure he didn't take any weapons with him. He's really scaring me, but I know I need to give him his space. I just…I don't know what to do," Dean cried softly, his eyes never leaving the trees.

"I don't think he'll do anything that drastic, Dean. He knows what it'd do to you and he's not gonna hurt you like that. You mean more to him than anything…he won't do that to you."

"God…I hope you're right, Bobby. I honest to God hope you are."

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Sam sat beneath the large oak tree, his back leant up against the trunk, knees drawn up toward his chest, his arms resting on his knees. His eyes gazed out before him, though he was looking at nothing in particular. Tears slowly trailed down his cheeks as he dropped his head down, both hands coming up to cup the nape of his neck. Soft sobs started from the distraught young man as he began to rock slowly back and forth.

"Why, why, why…I'm sorry…so sorry…" he whispered over and over, his body continuing to rock.

After several minutes, Sam's sobs subsided and he leaned back against the trunk once more, his eyes closing as exhaustion spread over him. Within minutes, he was deep in sleep, his hands falling limply to the grassy ground beneath him. Suddenly, a shadow fell across the sleeping hunter as a figure approached, the figure crouching down next to Sam. A hand reached out and rested softly on Sam's forehead as a soft prayer was whispered.

"See the truth Sam…it's time for you to see the truth," Castiel's low voice sounded before he pulled his hand away from the young hunters head.

Castiel stood and gazed down upon the man then he turned and walked away, pausing once to glance over his shoulder as Sam began to softly murmur in his sleep.

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Sam's eyes snapped open as a rustling in the nearby bushes woke him from his slumber. He pushed up against the trunk of the tree as the rustling continued, his eyes scanning the growth around him. Sam gasped as someone stepped from the bushes and tears immediately sprang to his eyes, spilling over his cheeks as he shook his head slowly.

"Jess?" he whispered, his eyes never leaving the beautiful blonde woman as she approached, a warm smile on her soft lips.

"Sam," she replied, her voice bringing more tears to Sam's eyes.

Sam pushed to his feet, his hands reaching behind him to grasp the tree. "Jess…I'm sorry…I…" he stammered, his eyes wide as Jess stepped up to him, raising her small hand to lovingly cup his cheek.

"Why are you sorry, Sam?" Jess questioned, her blue eyes staring up curiously into Sam's shocked face.

"Why? I…I let you die, Jess. I didn't warn you. You told me, Jess…down there. You told me it was my fault. You s-said…you said you never l-loved me," Sam sobbed as he reached for Jess, his fingers ghosting over her cheek.

"No, Sam. That wasn't me, baby. I could never blame you. It wasn't your fault," Jess answered, her brow furrowing in worry.

"But…"

"I love you, Sam. I loved you the minute I saw you."

"Oh God, Jess. I miss you so much. If you had never met me, you'd still be alive…"

"But I wouldn't be happy. You brought me my happiness, Sam."

"Jess…"

"I have to go, Sam. We are only allowed so much time," Jess said sadly.

"We?"

Jess turned to look over her shoulder, smiling as two more figures emerged from the trees. Sam followed her gaze and let out a startled cry as his mother and father stepped forward, smiles spread wide on their faces. He turned back to Jess as the girl smiled up at him. She lifted up on her toes as Sam leaned over, their lips meeting in a soft, sweet kiss.

"Goodbye, Sam. Remember, I love you. I'll always love you."

Sam watched as Jessica walked away, the girl disappearing as she reached the trees. Sam swallowed then turned his attention to his waiting parents. He stepped forward as they did the same, all three stopping when they were just a few feet apart. Mary stepped forward one more step and smiled up at her youngest son.

"Sammy…I know what you think. I know that you think I…we…didn't want you. You think that what you were told in hell is true, but it isn't sweetie. We could never wish for you to not be born. We could never even consider abortion, Sammy. You are my precious baby. What happened to me was not your fault, it was mine…"

"No, Mom…it wasn't…"

"Yes…it was. I made the deal that brought that demon to your nursery, Sam. I brought this curse upon you. I brought my death upon myself. You were worth it, Sam. You were worth saving."

"Mom," Sam whispered, tears once more trailing down his flushed cheeks.

"It's okay, Sammy. I'll always be with you my sweet baby. I'll always be there, watching over both my boys."

"I love you, Mom…"

"I know honey and I love you too…so much," Mary whispered as she took Sam's hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

Mary stepped back as John moved forward, his hand coming up to rest on Sam's shoulder. John smiled, his dark eyes shining. Sam swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, his hazel eyes searching his fathers face for any signs of the man he saw in hell. What he saw was pure, unadulterated love. The enormity of it made him sway on his feet and John grasped his shoulder more tightly to keep the young man from falling over.

"It…it wasn't you, was it? You…you didn't do those things…" Sam started, his voice breaking with emotion.

"Oh God, Sammy…no…that was not me. I know I wasn't the best father, but…"

"You did the best you could, Dad. I'm sorry I didn't see that before."

John nodded as he pulled Sam into his arms, his voice hitching as he spoke. "I'm sorry too, Sam. I never let you know how proud I was of you. I was so hard on you…never gave you a chance. I was proud of you, Sammy…I still am. You're so strong…you have to believe that."

"I don't feel strong, Dad. I can't forget what happened. I've tried so hard, but every time I close my eyes…"

"You are strong, Sammy. I need you to stop torturing yourself. Dean needs you…he's hurting so badly right now. He doesn't know how to help you, so I need you to help him. Stop blaming yourself for things you had no control over. I know you can't forget what happened to you in hell, but the demon who did those things is dead. Please Sammy…I know what you've been thinking about doing, but you have to know that would kill your brother…"

"I've thought about it, Dad…but, I could never go through with it. I could never do that to Dean…"

John pulled away from his son, his hand cupping Sam's cheek. "Good…that's good, Sammy. We have to go now, son."

"Dad…I…I love you."

"I know, Sammy. I love you too."

John patted Sam's cheek affectionately and moved aside as Mary stepped up to her son. She reached up and kissed him lovingly on the cheek before pulling away. Sam watched as his parents walked away, hand in hand and cried out softly as they disappeared. He backed up to the tree and slumped against it, a soft smile curling his lips. He slid down the trunk and rested his head against the rough bark, closing his eyes as the words of his loved ones played through his mind.

"Sammy? Wake up, kiddo," a concerned voice called and Sam slowly opened his eyes to the worried face of his brother.

"Dean? What…" Sam stammered with confusion.

"You were dreaming, Sammy. You okay?" Dean queried.

"Dreaming? No…they were here…" Sam said, his eyes moving over the trees around him.

"Who were here?" Dean asked worriedly.

"Uh…I…nevermind…" Sam said softly as he allowed Dean to help him up from the ground.

"You sure you're okay?" Dean queried.

"I'm sure, Dean. I'm sorry I worried you, but I'm…I'm going to be fine," Sam replied, smiling warmly at his older brother.

"Yeah?"

Sam looked at his brother and he knew he would be. In time, he would be fine. "Yeah."

"Well, okay then. What do you say we head back to the house. You know how cranky Bobby gets if dinner gets cold."

Sam let out a little chuckle, his eyes once more moving over the trees before he stepped beside his brother as the older man headed for Bobby's house. He didn't see the relieved smile that graced Dean's face.

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**Two Weeks Later**

Dean tossed the last of he and Sam's things into the trunk of the Impala, slamming the lid shut then turning toward the house. Bobby walked out the front door, a paper bag held in his left hand. He walked down the steps and approached the car, handing the bag to Dean.

"I fixed you boys some sandwiches for the road. Uh…are you sure you should be leaving? You know you're welcome to stay, Dean," the older hunter said.

"Thanks, Bobby…you've been great, but…it's time to get back on the road. I'm going stir crazy and I really think Sam's ready too. He's really turned around these past few weeks. I'm not sure what happened out there in the woods that day, but whatever it was, it helped him."

"Hmmm…do you think it was Cas?"

"I don't know, Bobby…Sam won't say anything."

"It…it was Mom and Dad…a-and Jess…" a soft voice said, startling the men.

Dean turned to see that Sam had come out of the house, neither Bobby or he hearing him as they talked together. "What Sammy?" he asked.

"In the woods. I was sleeping, but I woke up and…and I saw Jess. She talked to me, said that she loved me. Then…then Mom and Dad. It wasn't them, Dean. In hell, it wasn't any of them," Sam whispered.

"That's what I've been telling you. Why didn't you tell me, Sammy?"

"I…I didn't want you to think I had completely lost my mind. I wasn't sure myself, but…"

"But what, Sam?"

"After that day, the nightmares ended…mostly…so I knew…I knew it really was them. They loved me, Dean. They wanted me…"

"Sammy…of course they did."

"Yeah…I never should have believed…I can't believe I listened…"

"Hey…don't do that Sammy."

"I know…I'm sorry. Are we just about ready to head out?"

"Yep. Everything's packed up. Bobby even made us some sandwiches."

Sam turned to Bobby and smiled warmly. "Bobby…thank you…for everything. I don't know what we would have done without you."

"No need for thanks, Sam…you know that. You boys are my family…this is your home…well, aside from the car, but you know what I mean," Bobby said as he pulled Sam into a tight hug, patting the younger man on the back affectionately.

Sam pulled away and smiled again. "Bobby…I'm really gonna miss you."

"Hey…it's not like you're never going to see me again. You boys will be back here in no time. You better be."

"We'll be back before you know it, Bobby. We're planning on keeping within three states unless absolutely necessary," Dean said, his hand reaching out to shake the older man's hand.

"I want you boys checking in with me every day, you here?"

"We will Bobby, don't worry," Sam said.

"Let's get going, Sam…we got a long drive before we hit Montana," Dean called as he went around to the drivers side of the Impala.

"See you Bobby…" Sam said before he turned and went to the passenger door. He pulled the door open and slid into the seat, slamming the door behind him.

"Bobby…we'll keep in touch. You take care of yourself," Dean said, smiling when Bobby nodded and tipped his hat.

Dean crawled behind the steering wheel and started the car. With a wave of his hand out the window, he pulled away, leaving Bobby to watch after the brothers until they disappeared out of sight. The hunter turned and walked back to his house, already missing his boys and beginning to mentally count the days until he would see them again.

**THE END**

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**Stick a fork in it because it's done!!! Well, I hope that didn't disappoint or let anyone down. I really had a blast bringing you this story and promise that I am already thinking about the next one. Now, just so you all know...I won't be posting daily chapters now that I have run out of completed stories. It will be awhile before I start to post my next multi-chapter story. I always try to have at least six chapters written before I start to post so I know pretty much where the story is headed. Just keep watching, because a new one will be coming. Not sure if it will be another Three Brothers story, or a stand alone. Some good news though...I have a one-shot completed that I was waiting to post here after I finished With One Kiss. I'll probably post it tomorrow. It's a short one-shot but was pretty well received on . I know it's not much, but I usually don't take too long to write chapters, so you should be seeing a new story in a few weeks or so. Thanks again for all of your wonderful comments, and to those who read but were too shy to comment, or just don't like to, that's perfectly fine...I appreciate every person who reads my stuff. So...take care all and I hope to see you back when I post my one-shot 'I Told You So'.**

**Cindy.**


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